Question:
I didn't see him coming along. We have only been together for about a month now and we care a lot about each other. Last weekend we had sex and it was wonderful. But he doesn't know that I have Genital HSV-1. To be honest I didn't think about it because I never have outbreaks or anything.

But I've started feeling symptoms this week and now I'm mad at myself for not bringing it up before our sexcapade. I just wasn't thinking... I've had this for about 8 years now. The first OB was pretty intense even though I didn't even realize that's what it was. I wasn't diagnosed until 4 years later when I went to my OBGYN while having my second outbreak which I thought was a yeast infection.

Now I'm having symptoms again which if it happens will make the third one that I know about and the first one in 4 years.

I wanted to tell him last night but I couldn't because I had to leave early. But he made the comment to me last night that I was so perfect. I wanted to cry. He needs to know and I want him to know because I really do care about him and want to be honest with him.

I just hope that he understands and isn't too upset that I didn't mention it sooner. I was just so wrapped up in all the things we are feeling and experiencing.

And then I felt that little tingle yesterday which gave me a reality check.
It's so easy for me to forget about it though. It really doesn't bother me. But maybe another problem I have is I haven't excepted that I have this and it is never going away. No matter if I never have another OB again it is still there and always will be.

Well it felt better to say all that. Sorry for the rant.

Answer:
IT is easy to get caught up "in the moment." I did it the first time with my current mate and I told him two days later. I felt so guilty. Not because I have herpes, but because I wasn't honest. I remember the next day talking to my best friend and I felt SO bad. So the day after that I told him. He was totally cool about it.

So do tell this man asap. Tell him in the most calm and non-sexual fashion you can. (sitting in the living room, tv off type of thing.) Answer all his questions. Chances are he will be quite accepting of your situation. Let him knwo it is herpes 1, which is basically getting a cold sore, but "down there", and let him know you do NOT have many outbreaks.

did you all use a condom? While they are not foolproof, they do help prevent transmission.

Good luck to you and I hope he takes things in stride!

Answer:
I sure hope you're right ouch. I know he is just as crazy about me as I am him and I don't want to keep this kind of stuff away from him. I think if things wouldn't have happened so fast then I would have thought and talked to him abou it. But I know I must and want to now. It is important to us both if he is going to stay in my life.

No, we didn't use a condom and that's another thing that bothers me. But I'm all for it if he wants to start. Anything that makes him feel more comfortable about it.

I just hope it all works out. I'm going to talk to him about it tonight.

Answer:
UPDATE:


I told him last night. He asked me what it was and I explained it to him and explained how it affects me and could possibly affect him.

He was like, "That's it? That's all you had to tell me? You had me worried it was something worse."
He thought I wanted to end the relationship...

So yeah everything is fine and I'm glad he knows. And knowing that he still wants to be with me shows me how much he really does care about me.

Answer:
What great news! Thanks for sharing it. It reminds me of when my ex-girlfriend told me... the morning after our first night together.

We're all human, and that means not only making mistakes but also wanting to be loved. That sometimes means we think we need to hide our medical conditions. Although I think it's the wrong thing to do, it's an utterly understandable thing too.

Answer:
UPDATE:


I told him last night. He asked me what it was and I explained it to him and explained how it affects me and could possibly affect him.

He was like, "That's it? That's all you had to tell me? You had me worried it was something worse."
He thought I wanted to end the relationship...

So yeah everything is fine and I'm glad he knows. And knowing that he still wants to be with me shows me how much he really does care about me. Yay!!! I really hope things work out for you two. I'm glad that he was so accepting :D

Answer:
((dancing around)))

yay for Silent Angel!!! See! not everyone is freaked out by herpes!


ah....love is grand! :wink:
(I am such a sucker for good love stories! hahaha)

Answer:
I am so happy for you Silent Angel! Reading this thread made me smile. I am in the exact same situation except that I have yet to tell him. :/
This has given me a bit of hope that these things really can have a happy ending!!

Answer:
I just told my guy last night but it didnt go so well...he felt betrayed that i didnt tell him before we did anything...he is not really talking to me right now. I feel so so bad. I am really glad that things went well for Silent Angel. I really like this guy...but i have no idea if he will be able to see me again after this.