Question:
What do people think? Is it ethical to ask someone out when you have this virus? Given that you know that eventually they'll have to make the decision whether to take the risk and possibly catch this themselves.

Answer:
Hi tothefuture,
Well, it is a good question and an honest concern. I don't know how others feel, but the way I see it you should go ahead and take the risk of making the first move. Just because you have H doesn't mean you should sit back and hope that someone comes to you. Be yourself! If something comes of it and he becomes someone you start dating then it will be up to him what he does when you tell him about your situation. Yes, it is a little riskier but for all you know maybe he has it too! Even if he doesn't, I think there is nothing wrong with acting the same way you did pre-H and asking the guy out. I met the man I am dating now by making the first move and I am so glad I did. I was concerned like you about it being okay for me to do that when I know I have this virus, but decided to put myself out there anyway. He is wonderful and sweet and when I told him about my H (before any sexual contact) he handled it with total respect and care. We have been dating now for a couple of months and I am so glad I didn't let my H keep me from reaching out to him. I say go for it!

Answer:
sure its ethical to make the first move. and hunting down a possible person is perfectly fine.

u can be the same person you used to be, the only diffrence is When u get intimate but before all that, u need to get the man.
so go for it.~ u never know if that will be ur hubby

Answer:
;) Thanks for the replies. And I agree, we should all just be ourselves. And hopefully that involves acting with integrity and honesty.

Answer:
This may seem a little shovenist but coming from a guys perspective, I have not seen or heard of a man turning down a woman (that he is attracted to.) I know it does happen, but I have several female friends that are infected and not one of them have ever, not once, been turned down.

On the other hand, as a man, I have been turned down a couple times by women that I had a great friendship/relationship with extreme physical attraction. These were women that I felt would never say no. This definitely makes it hard. Rejection, by someone you have deep feelings for, hurts.

On the plus side, I have also had a couple casual relationships that my partners weren't too worried about it. Just goes to show, you never know.

Answer:
i have recently met the girl of my dreams, we r so compatibal. i am so scared of telling her i have severe herpes, she is the lovliest girl i have ever met, and she is getting deeply attached to me as i am her. i am a grown man of 27 and i have been crying myself to sleep, she is 20 years old and told me shes a virgin, which i beleive. i dont deserve this girl, but i cant walk away, i am obsesed with her, and am gonna find it extremely hard 2 be rejected by her, and it might just push me over the edge. i dont know how to tell her, and am dreading the day she wants 2 take things further.

Answer:
To Karmic Debt,

I am so glad that you met someone special. I know that you are probably dreading the day that you have to explain that you have h to her, however, make sure the timing is right and that you try and educate her on the situation. I feel that many people are ignorant about this virus and that is why they react the way that they do. I can honestly say that if someone told me they had h, I would probably run too, but since I have educated myself about the virus, I know how to handle it and would not leave the person, especially if I felt they were worth being with. All that you can do is try. I know that rejection is not good and especially when you are dealing with this virus. But I can remember when I was rejected by someone and this was before I had the virsus. So, rejection can take place regardless. I am just happy to hear that you are trying to live your life despite of this virus. That is all that I was trying to say to you in the other posts. I know that you are going through a tough time as well as I am. I cry myself to sleep as well as cry throughout the day. We have to support each other and encourage each other to keep on trying and live your life as productively as possible. :)

Answer:
This may seem a little shovenist but coming from a guys perspective, I have not seen or heard of a man turning down a woman (that he is attracted to.) I know it does happen, but I have several female friends that are infected and not one of them have ever, not once, been turned down.

On the other hand, as a man, I have been turned down a couple times by women that I had a great friendship/relationship with extreme physical attraction. These were women that I felt would never say no. This definitely makes it hard. Rejection, by someone you have deep feelings for, hurts.

On the plus side, I have also had a couple casual relationships that my partners weren't too worried about it. Just goes to show, you never know. I think it's just the opposite. I think women are far more accepting than men about this type of thing... I don't know a man alive who would risk his "family jewels" for a girl. And I don't blame them. If I was uninfected, I would not risk it either. (Even though I am a woman)

Answer:
I think it's just the opposite. I think women are far more accepting than men about this type of thing... I don't know a man alive who would risk his "family jewels" for a girl. And I don't blame them. If I was uninfected, I would not risk it either. (Even though I am a woman)
I am an uninfected man and have just started a relationship with a wonder woman who told me she was infected. This did not change anything, I am willing to risk anything for her. Not all guys are bad.

SM