Question:
I want to know how is it possible to be intimate with your b/f and not have herpes on your mind? Some day, I would like to be intimate again with my b/f, but right now my only concern is to just feel better and sexy again, not to mention I am concerned that if I do have sex with my b/f, it will cause an ob. Can someone please give me some advice on how to be intimate with my b/f with herpes.

Answer:
I'm not sure I can give any advice. But when I'm being intimate with my bf I don't really think about herpes (I think its because he transferred it to me through a cold sore, and we've talked about it and are fine with it) Though, I don't know how long you've been diagnosed or anything.

But, maybe taking things slow. Talking about it, see what he thinks? If you want to feel sexy again, why not buy new underwear or something?

I've had sex, and its not caused an OB, just make sure your enough aroused, or use a lubricant if there isn't enough vaginal fluid (the friction might cause an OB) I haven't even thought about herpes, maybe the first time, but after it just doesn't enter my mind

Answer:
oh i hate that feeling.
i have it > he doesnt.
its not even fear of being intimate> its fear that ill end up spredding it to myself orally. like sure some spontanious moments slow down cause i try and ... well.... clean it w/ spit. (sure he loves that :) but not on my part cause im thinking something else)
but in general it hasnt caused my intimacy to drop> we still do it just as we did b4- it will take a few times for the fear/pressure etc. to go away and then u can get it on like rabbits..

personaly> once the sores were gone> and i was feeling better ... i just went shopping got something cute> shaved> and that sexy feeling came back. so do whatever u have to do to get ur self feeling good again -
and sex can/ or can not cause a ob, u wont know until u try

Answer:
Hey,
Things will get better. When I first found out that I had GH I did not want to have sex at all. My BF at the time did not have it and I was afraid of passing it on. We are no longer together. What was hard for me was telling my new BF the news of my infection. He has accepted me and the infection. We have an open line of communication. When I am having an outbreak or symptoms I just let him know. You just have to be safe. Before I started taking my medication I have had an outbreak after sex. It think that is very rare. Good luck.

Answer:
Eurka - how did you bring up that you had GH to your now boyfriend? How did he accept it? I was just diagnosed today and I'm scared to death that I'll never find someone. I just ended a six year relationship with my boyfriend, six months ago, so dating has already been hard enough. How do you bring it up????

Answer:
Not sure why I have it but I do. I have always had a very aggressive sexual appetite, but have been with the same person for 2 years now. I'm used to having sex everyday, so I am really having a hard time with this. If I have sex, will I have a outbreak everytime?
Please let me know.
Thanks:(

Answer:
Tangeray - there's no way of knowing so just have fun finding out! If sex does bring on an outbreak then eventually it won't - or at least that was how it was for me. So now I can have sex and it doesn't cause an OB. :)

Answer:
just curious to the future
how long did that last for you??
I had an OB almost every time after...so went on suppresion, but am thinking going off of it.
everyone is individual but I also don't want to develop an inability for it to be effective anymore either.

Answer:
Hi Support1,

If you worried about speading it there is certain things that be done - condoms, dental dams & proper hygiene, etc. I have had only a handful of outbreaks after my first major one. Most of mine was caused by friction of kotex during periods. When Les & I are together herpes is the last thing we think of. I can be little obessive complusive about cleaning up afterwards but that is where sharing a shower can become interesting. Water conservation can be a good thing even tho I really don't see we are using less water sometimes. I was really worried at first about us sleeping together but the herpes never bothered him. We are still trying to add to our family the old fashion way. He didn't have herpes when we met and I am careful about not having sex when I suspect I have any kind of rash, etc.. He has accepted the risk of contracting it. Please don't put your life on hold - Don't punish yourself. You will know when you are ready. There is a right person out there for you somewhere. Take care and hang in there!! Lisa