Question:
For the first time in my life I am out in the cold with dating and herpes. My former partner had it and I am no longer with him. I contracted the herpes from a rape and have never had to actually deal with the h talk before. I'm scare. I feel disguisting. I feel like i am never going to meet anyone who will love me with this. And I am depressed. What is going to happen to sex. Why is it that all the good things in this world have to be taken away. Since it wasn't really an issue when i was with my former boyfriend i never really thought about it, but i am thinking about it now and i feel dirty, i feel dirty around my family and dirty period. And the sad thing is we all have to live with this. Its not something that is going to go away. From what i have read in the medical front there is nothing being done to help us. yes there are clinical trial out there to prevent females from getting it with a shot, but not males, and that doesn't help me. That only further divides the population. Is there anything we can do as a community to get more drug trials going for us? The other thing is i'm so scared of telling potential partners and fear major rejection. The last guy i told told me i probably had AIDS too and wasn't fit to have children. I"m sorry i'm rambling, i'm just scared and don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.
Thanks for listening!!!!!!

Answer:
I know how you feel. Our stories are somewhat similar. I contracted hsv1 genitally from a rape too!!!! I currently have a boyfriend who also has the virus, he contracted about 2 years after i did, or at least that is what i think, but i guess you can never be sure since half the ppl that have herpes dont even know that they do. so who knows? i feel so dirty, like no matter how many times i shower i will never be clean! I am just so affraid of what will happen if my current relationship does not work out. I have liked one guy other than my boyfrined but i was way too afraid to sacrifice what i have for someone who may walk away because of what i have! the guy is one of my really good friends still, and i know he has feelings for me too, but he doesn't know the whole truth about my situation!!!! sorry i am rambling too, but i know what it is like to be scared!!! But i guess u can look at it this way, if ur ex boyfriend could walk away with the hopes of finding someone else than i am sure u can too. there are many ppl out there with the virus that just don't say anything , and if someone cant accept u for who u are than it probably wouldn't work out even if u didnt have the virus, because that just shows that that person would not be able to love u unconditionally or stick by u in any tuff stiuation, so u don't need them anyways. I know this is easier to say than to believe, because i have a hard time even following my own advise!!!!! Just stay strong and pray for a cure, i mean if we can clone sheep and cure pollio and stick a man on the moon i believe we can find a cure. But who knows, we could have a cure and probably do, but i am sure there is way more money in treating herpes than what there would be to cure it. but we have to hang in there, because there is no way of chaning the past, we can only look toward the future!

Answer:
I know what you mean about feeling dirty, I am still suffering from my first major OB & spend so long in the shower now, praying to wash the itch away. I think that I may have had H a few times b4, but nothing like this, so maybe I have just recently contracted it....& yes from unconsentual sex, the bastard, but one of those confusing situations that I really couln't call rape, even though it probably was, as I had let allowed him into my bed....but not agreed to unprotected penetration, which he then forced on me.....yuk, I got trichomonas from him & then a few weeks later THIS

I am lonely ( which is why I let that idiot into my bed i supose) &really want to have a good relationship. I guess it is a good test of how decent a man is if they can handle the fact that I have H. But I know that the lonliness comes from deep inside & must be cured before I can be ready for that right person

thanks for listening