Question:
Alright... i am a young man and this is the first time I have had an encounter with any STDs. Please don't treat me as an ignorant uneducated jerk because I don't know what to do now and am just looking for advice.

I am a college student. I go back home for the weekend and I meet this girl at a party. We only made out a little but she tells me to call her next time I am in town. I call her the next time I am home and we spend the weekend together. She performed oral sex on me once then I had intercourse with her the next day (sex with a condom, oral without).

She mentions how she should come and visit me at school. I agree... she shows up and we have sex again (with a condom). We go out drinking and come back and start fooling around. Again she begins performing oral sex on me (no condom), seeing how she has done it to me twice and I have yet to do the same, I return offer to return the favor, and she accepts the offer. I begin trying to go downtown on her, but she grabs my head weird. I get one or two licks in (forgive me if this sounds juvenile, it was ten minuets ago and I am worried). She tells me to stop and informs me that she has vaginal herpes (for about five years). I start yelling at her and throw her out and tell her to go home (not a very nice thing but she basically lied and I was upset). I tried talking to her but she was upset and left anyway.

Anyway... I am young and confused. Do I have herpes? Should I get tested? How long to I wait to get tested? Will I get oral herpes even though she doesn't have them but I went down on her? Are condoms safe enough to prevent them? Should I talk to this girl ever again?

Again I am young and may sound immature to many of you but please respond. I don't know what to do and would prefer to maintain my anonymity.

Answer:
I understand your frustration. She should have told you she had H before it became hot and heavy. Unfortunately, that is the risk you take when being intimate with someone, especially someone you don't know. Read the first article on dating and relating and it should give you some basic info. There is a possibility you can catch H through oral, especially if she has an outbreak. Condoms are a good way to protect yourself, but it is not 100%. There is only 1-2 weeks somebody is contagious. Unfortunately we are not certain when those days are. There is asymptomatic shedding when someone is contagious without signs. It is better to abstain from any sexual contact before and during an outbreak. You can only catch it if there is direct contact between 2 mucous membranes or open sores. You could be ok, but you might want to get tested anyway. Ask specifically for HSV testing. You are not wrong to be angry, but it would be nice if you could be sensitive. It's your call whether or not you want to keep in touch with this person.

Answer:
I appreciate the advice. I am not one to have sex with random strangers and am usually pretty careful. I met this girl through friends who had known he since high school and had been talking to her for a few weeks prior to any contact. That is why this is very upsetting to me.

This may sound stupid but should I get any antiviral medication or modify my diet over the next few days to reduce my chances of getting the virus? or is it just too late after you have been exposed? Again, this may sound dumb but I know little about it, I just really would prefer to not have herpes.

Answer:
I am not accusing you of promiscuity. Sometimes we think we know somebody and it ends up we really don't. It is always good to have a good diet and rest, it will build up your immunity. It will not get rid of the virus. I believe antivirals are only good to suppress outbreaks to an infected person. If you have any questions, call your doctor or National Herpes Hotline. They can answer your questions. The hotline is ussually busy. Just keep on calling or hold for the next representative. Have your questions ready. They are available on weekdays 9AM-5PM. Good luck.

National Herpes Hotline
(919) 361-8488

Answer:
i can relate. i'm also waiting to see. the individual i had sex with said she had been taking valtrex. we had sex close to 6 times then she laid it on me. i also threw her out. before we actually had sex we had a talk about STD's and such. she had plenty of opportunity to come out but didn't. i need to go in and have a test done. hopefully she wasn't lying about taking valtrex but even if she was telling the truth there is a possiblity she transmitted to me. from what i understand even if she was shedding there is a 25% chance I didn't contract it. i am old enough to know better but i wasn't thinking with my right mind having sex with her. this has changed me regaurdless how it turns out...

Answer:
this has changed me regaurdless how it turns out... Can't agreed more. I can't believe this really. She said it so casually too and then acted like I was getting bent out of shape out of nothing.

Answer:
is your mind playing tricks on you? I've looked at the pictures of herpes and nothing has came up on me like that but it's like i get weak sometimes and imagine symptoms. my penis will start feeling funny. then i go to check it and nothing is there. i'll be glad to get some real test results and move on with my life. this sux!

Answer:
This all just happened yesterday afternoon. Every tingle, every itch on my groin - I can't sit still until I go look at it. Is that a dark spot on penis? Was that always there? Is that a bump? Whats that itch?

I woke up with chapped lips this morning (I was walking around in the cold for St. Patrick's day prior to this all going down) so now I can't stop wondering about that. I get canker sores sometimes (usually with stress which I have right now from midterms). Now I can't stop freaking out and going to the mirror to see if they look different than they have in the past.

I'm know I'm not going to be able to stop thinking about this for the next month too....

Answer:
Both of you guys have the right to be angry. You must be furious for being deceived. For both of your sake, I hope that the test comes out negative. It is more difficult for a guy to contract H. Protection, no open cuts, and antivirals will make you less susceptable to contracting H. The anticipation is a killer. Quick question. Would you guys have responded differently if your partners were honest from the beginning?