Question:
This is so hard to do; it's so hard to take myself back to the day that I was diagnosed with herpes. As I type this I'm so overcome with sadness that I feel it's never going to get better so I have turned to this support board in hopes of just that- support. I guess I should tell you how my little adventure began huh? Last year was my freshman year in college- very new, very different. I was a great student in high school and I never really got into the partying scene and for that matter I didn't really date a whole lot. To sum up a little of what happened during my first year: I slept with someone for the first time and dated him on and off, slept with another person and well it's all down hill from there. The second person that I slept with gave this to me. He was a very sweet guy that I had liked for quite a while. A few days after that happened he stopped by my house and we talked for a while. We talked about our sexual histories and to be honest he was more concerned about mine than I was about his. I did ask questions though and he said he did not have any std's or anything of that sort and that he had been tested. I knew that I didn't and I told him. Within a few days I started to get sick, complete with high fevers and a total outbreak of sores- he lied. He lied to me- that was all I could think. I searched every imaginable website to research what this scary thing I had could be and in the back of my mind I knew, I just didn't want to admit it. After my initial shock of the sickness I got up the nerve to go to the doctor and well, here I am. I have dealt with this in my own way but I have not had anyone to talk to. My family does not know and I will never tell my friends. I have not dated anyone since this has happened to me because I don't know how to handle it. I feel disgusted and ruined. I was not someone that slept around and I can't believe I let myself end up this way. This has taken so much thought and so much out of me that I'm just going to click submit- forgive me for the typos-

Answer:
Awwww ((((hug)))))

I don't know how to make you see that it will all be ok, but trust me, it will. I have it and it's ok. About 1/4 of my friends have it and - you guessed it - they're ok, too. Most are in awesome relationships. It's not preferable to not having it, but it's really not the end of the world. It really isn't. And it can lead to better long-term decision making, which it's not a requirement for but it just somehow helps.

You sound really cool. Just keep focus on your character and the character of those around you. Just be the best person you can be and everything will fall into place in the long run. I know you feel ashamed and like you did something wrong but you did not. 1/4 of the female population has this...we're just more vulnerable than men, 1/5 of them have it.

I have told a few select friends (or more accurately, had them trust me enough to tell me, then I told them). It helps to have people to talk to about it. You are sooooo not alone in this. It's a nasty little virus but that's ALL it is. Try to do things that make you happy and look for any opportunity to have a sense of humor or look at the bright side. I use the fact that it's not fatal, it may have saved me from jumping into relationships I would have regretted, I may not have met the wonderful guy I am with (who accepts me and IT no prob because he's the SH*T)...you never know how things are going to turn out. What seems like a curse may end up somehow blessing you. Take care, hang in there!!!