Question:
am i the only person that just feels like having herpes is just a minor bump in the road of life? i have been dealing with it (if you really need to call it that) for about 12 years now. for me its just a fact of life... much the same as the fact that my hairline is slowly creaping backwards (in fact.. im more concerned with that then the herpes..)

i have been good about being up front with it, (with one bad exception that i wish i could just have a do-over on) and its never really been an issue with my partners either.

discussion please?

Answer:
I'm so happy for you that it isn't a problem for you. That you don't have to look someone in the face and say "before we have sex, know this..." and be petrified of rejection. I admire that.

For you, it's a matter of confidence. (i'm not telling you what you think, i'm just using the "you" to interpret how I think you think...whatever). You are confident that anyone you tell will accept you anyways and that if they don't, you can find someone else. For me, as a 19 year old woman freshly infected and already seriously insecure, the thought of telling someone petrifies me so much i won't do it, and i won't be put in a situation where i might have to.

Do you really never feel afraid? Frightened of being rejected by someone you really care about or stigmatized? What if word gets out and spreads around? Do you care?

I think what you're reading about people having issues with it is the people having issues with THEMSELVES more than the virus. You've accepted the virus and categorized it as a "flaw" (such as a receding hairline). For some, it is a defining characteristic, a negative one. It's hard to get past that, you know?

Sorry so long, stay strong dude

Answer:
well.. dont get your hopes up...
i do and have had to look someone in the face & say that.. and i too run the risk of rejection.. im no fan of getting rejected. but hey.. this is part of me... i cant change it so i have to deal with it.

dont let yourself think that you are less of a person or worth less than someone else because of this.

currently if you checked on my other post that i made, you will see the one lapse in good judgement in that area.. in all reality this has been the only time that i have been really worried about having to say anything..

as for do i care if word gets around? well.. genearally speaking... the only people that know about it are those that i have been in a relationship with and i dont tend to get involved with the type of people that would go blabing it about... it does tend to make me be a bit more careful in who i date and become "intimate" with...

and check your PM's Amelie....lol

Answer:
I think you guys know where I stand -

People reject others for so many reasons... I'd rather it be HSV than my breath or something... at least they'd be being honest...

Do I care who knows? Hell no - I don't aknowledge stigmas - it's bullshit. If you don't like the way I look - don't look. I do respect privacy of others and their feelings - so I don't go shouting from the rooftops... but I have no secrets of my own. (Obviously :wink: )

The more people I've told - the less alone I feel. Thats what feels right for me - do what feels right for you.

Answer:
It's definately not been a minor bump in the road for me. I have OB"s almost constantly. I feel flu-like quite a bit. And, I've had a hard time getting good medical help. I'm going to post something under Personal Experiences with Herpes that happened to me at the doctor's yesterday.
Herpes hasn't effected my self-esteem at all, but I have learned not to tell to many people. I told a good friend and she felt it was essential to pass the word on to her husband. For me, it's really been an ordeal. One that I can't seem to get stablized. I don't recommend it! :lol:

Answer:
Lasmom,

To echo what others have said...You are so awesome. I hear what you said about having no secrets...I believe that the more educated others are about the people around them, the less afraid they will be, and the less afraid they are the less likely they are to stigmatize and scorn. So in as non-judgemental a manner as possible I tell people about things that I am knowledgeable about, my HSV, other things I'm dealing with, and they usually respond quite well to my delight.

Take care Lasmom, you're an angel.
God Bless,
Christina

Answer:
I don't recommend it! :lol: well.. i cant say that i would recommend it either...lol
but on the grand scale of things it has turned out to be generally a non issue in my life...

Answer:
I don't recommend it! :lol: well.. i cant say that i would recommend it either...lol
but on the grand scale of things it has turned out to be generally a non issue in my life...