Question:
I cannot believe I've actually registered on this site...but my quest for information lead me here. My husband has herpes. He got it when he was around 20. I knew shortly after we starting dating because he told me he had it. At first I was ok with it...then I couldn't handle it so we broke up...and got back together...and broke up and got back together and well you get the picture. We've been married for 3 years now and dated for 2 before that. It seemed amazing to me that I never got it. However we were always very careful (abstinence, always use rubbers even without an outbreak, etc.).

Here comes the fun part. My husband is currently serving in Iraq and was home for 2 weeks on R&R. Two nights ago I got this really sore spot...so I had him look at it. He said it looked like a red spot but I wasn't really too concerned about it because we were making up for a lot of lost time (if you know what I mean) and he was leaving again (he wasn't worried about it really either and I figured he'd know what it would look like)! I really and truely thought it was just from too much sex and being raw.

What I should insert here is that he had an outbreak while he was home. So now it's worse...I have a few places that look like blisters and it burns like heck when I pee. So I can only assume that I've gotten it and suppose I should be greatful that I had 5 years with him without it.

What I don't know is what to do now. I'm going to go to the doctor on Monday and get a test which will either confirm or negate this. I wish they were open tomorrow (they are closed on Friday's) b/c now I'll worry all weekend...there's that stress factor.

I've read all kinds of things about herbs and diet and stuff but I don't know what to believe. My husband rarely has an outbreak...1 every 2 years maybe (lucky me that it happened when he was home!) and so he only takes Lysine and nothing else.

Any advice is welcome. And to those out there that lost your partner over this...well all I can say is that he lost me too when I couldn't handle it...but my love for him eventually outweighed that fear. If it's meant to be they'll come back...otherwise there is someone out there that will love you for you...ALL of you.

Best of luck to everyone...

Dealing

Answer:
Hi. I am still kind of new at this, but there are worse things out there besides H. I have had H for almost 2 months now. My soon to be husband loves me just the same. What I have found out is that a blood test done to earlier will result in a neg. test. Not enough time for anti-bodies to build in your system. My DR advised me it takes 3-4 months for anti-bodies to show up after your 1st OB. I am on Valtrex and it seems to be working for me. when the blister burst they become very sore. If you are having alot of burning when you pee try running a bath and go in the tub of water. It seems to help with the burning. Try not to touch the blisters and if you do wash your hands so you do not spread the infection to other parts of your body. Medication will help heal you faster. My 1st OB lasted 6 days. As I write this I see you had a dr apt. today. How did it go??

Answer:
Well by Monday I was in so much pain I REFUSED to go to the doctor because I didn't want anyone touching me. I thought I was gonna just die (or hoped I would at least). In fact, on Saturday I was so desperate that I called the answering service and was grateful to discover my doctor was on call. The rule is no prescriptions filled on the weekend but my crying must have been enough to persuade him to call Valtrex in for me. I started it Saturday and don't think I had any relief until Wednesday...by Friday I think I felt more normal...so all in all from the first sign it lasted 11 days with 6-7 being pretty bad. And to top it all off my period started too!

I will say I tried the tub peeing thing...helped some but not enough to keep from crying every time. In fact, I got so upset about it that I ended up not peeing at all for about 17 hours on Saturday - all of which I'm sure was mental. Those were the longest days of my life!!

I called the doctors office Monday and asked if I needed a refill. They said that they don't keep you on it all the time unless you have 5 or more a year (God help me!). So they called me in a refill to keep just in case I need it when they aren't in the office.

I have to say though. Everyone keeps telling me that the first OB is the worst...HA. For someone who hasn't gone through it to tell you that is almost funny. I told the nurse (who I know pretty well) that worse means something like this - take a pot of boiling water...throw it on your crotch and then tell that person...Sorry...cant help you - deal with it! So I really was not prepared for how bad it really was.

However I made it through...now if someone could just define "the rest are never as bad" to me I think I might get over the anxiety of waiting for the next one to occur.

Have you had more than the 1st OB? Have you had another one? They say stress is a HUGE contributor which means I should have a daily OB! A husband in Iraq, 2 kids, a full time job and trying to get my BBA online at night - hmmm....what is there to stress over?! LOL

Thanks for your advise. Does your fiance have it too? Is that how you got it? I just wish I hadn't gotten it...and I'm betting everyone else here thinks the same thing. I hate to complain because I know I'm not the only one dealing with this but...

Anyway - thanks again for the reply. Sorry it took so long to reply to you but after I posted that original post I spent a week pretty much in bed when I got home from work.

Dealing

Answer:
Ask your doctor about suppressive therapy, if you can afford it. I take a Valtrex every other day and I went two years without an outbreak. Then I had a lot of stress (wedding, starting a new job) and I forgot to take my meds for a few days and started to feel an outbreak coming on- then I took my pill and I was fine.

The first outbreak really is the worst. Your body is saying "Woah, what is this?!?!" and it doesn't know how to deal with it. It will get better, they will be less intense in the future.

As far as urinating goes, I understand your pain! Have you tried urinating through an empty toilet paper roll? It may help to keep the urine off the sores.

Also, I found that baby wipes or those new wet wipes purposely for toilet use, in lieu of toilet paper, were much easier on me during my first outbreak. They helped to keep the area clean and ease the pain.

Good luck!

Answer:
Hi Belle -

Thanks for your post. I hadn't thought about the toilet paper roll but that is a great idea! The doctor said I can't have suppressive therapy unless I have 5 in a year...so he won't give it to me. I'm just hoping I can go as long as you...2 years is great! I'll have to try the wipes too.

Thanks again for replying...even though my husband has it I still feel pretty alone since his have never been like what I went through...even his first one. Although things still feel odd down there...it is a cross between tingly and itchy sometimes...but nothing has come from it so I don't know if it's mental or it's still recouperating from the trauma last week or I should be expecting another surprise. It's all so foreign to me!

Nice to get some advice.

Thanks - Dealing

Answer:
Dealing,

No problem. What you are telling me about what your doctor said doesn't make sense. Valtrex is designed for suppressive therapy for anyone who chooses that option- I have never been told you have to have so many outbreaks a year in order to qualify for it. (unless maybe this has something to do with your insurance covering it?)

My doctor diagnosed me and immediately prescribed Valtrex, and asked me whether I wanted to just treat outbreaks or whether I wanted to do suppressive. I tried to go without suppressive, but after two more outbreaks within three months, I decided to do suppressive. Since that time, things have gotten so much better, and I hardly think about it anymore- and its been four years and I have the most supportive husband (who doesn't have herpes) so that also helps.

Pay attention to your body and what is going on down there- you will start to learn what things trigger outbreaks and what they feel like before they start. If you can start your medicine before the sores show up, you may be able to keep them from appearing.

I would get a second opinion from another doctor, perhaps a gynocologist if your doctor is not one. If so, call a few other gynos and see what their policies are. If this is a widespread policy, I have never heard of it before!

Good luck! Let me know if you have any other questions!

Answer:
Peeing can hurt!! try and poor cool water on yourself while making a pee.A nurse told me that and also to pee in water,but I find that inconvientant.Oh and drink lots of water to make the urin less acidic.Avoid caffiene,chocolate and citrus foods too when having an outbreak.