Question:
I don't even know where to start...well...a few weeks ago i had terrible pains when I went pee and it was just absolutely unbearable! I dealt with it for a few days hoping it would go away but it didn't. I had just been with a new partner just a few days before and for the month before that. He was my boss at work and he had a serious girlfriend but i ignored that. i thought it would make me feel better about myselfbeing with an older guy and all. So i began looking things up on the internet and my only conclusion that matched up with the symptoms I had was herpes. since my mom didnt know i was even sexually active i went to a public health center in my town and had them check it out. The doctor told me as soon as she looked at it that it was herpes. She didnt even have to do a test. As soon as i got the results i freaked out. I had my best friend with me and she drove me right to that guy's house where i told him the news....i was furious!! he told me that he had gotten a herpes swab just a few months earlier and it was negative...After that i was freaking out that maybe I had gotten it from the guy i lost my virginity to and passed it on.


I had only been with 3 guys....the first guy i was with for a year and a half and the second i dated for like 6 months was a virgin and had never done anything with anyone excpet me...and the third was this new guy. I immediately called my ex and told him he needed to get tested as soon as possible and he told me he had also gotten the swab test and his had come back negative as well, (and unfortunately, the swap test often has false negative results) but he promised to get the blood work done. I went home that day and told my mom that i thought that my first boyfriend had given me herpes. i didnt tell her that i had been with anyone else because i was almost positive it was him. I went to the hospital that night to get my blood work done but i didnt get my results back for a week. They were negative...and was so excited!! I called my first ex and his were negative too! I got a hold of my friend and she was so excited for me!


Then i got a hold of my boss and said that they were negative....however...when my family doctor that had done my bloodwork got a hold of the lady at the public health center, she told my doctor the whole truth, that i had been with someone very recently.....this was bad news for me....she also said that there was nothing else possible that looked the way it did, it had to be herpes...My doctor told me that my blood work was negative because when i had it done, i was still in the "incubation" stage. Which meant my boss at work gave it to me without a doubt. So i also had to tell my mother this....i felt so ashamed. I know i'm not a whore...i really cared about all the guys that i was with except for the last guy,.. he was such a mistake and i wish i could take it back but i just cant.


herpes isnt supposed to happen to me im a nice girl with a lot of potential and i feel like it is limiting me. when i thought my results were negative i told one of my other friends about the whole ordeal...apparently my best friend had already told her...so not only do i have this terrible curse....i have no one i can trust my secret with. With this and everything else in my life i've slipped into depression and i feel like im losing control of my life. I just want someone I can talk to that has similar problems as me. I know as time goes on this will get easier for me and when i met a guy that really cares about me he wont care, but for now its just so hard to deal with. I look at all the people at my school and everywhere i go and wonder if they have it and i wonder how many other people i know are dealing with the same things i am..thats how life works i guess...you have to live and learn...i have definately learned that i was right in my thoughts of sex in the first place, it should be saved for people that you really love and care about....I'd appreciate any comments anyone has...

Answer:
Anyone can get herpes... and as soon as people start talking about it... the rest of society will see that... I am a nice girl... I have it... I tell everyone... why?? because it is important that people know ANYONE can get it... loving someone doesn't stop it... having only one partner won't stop it... it can't be stopped... if people you judge you for it that is on them... they may have it and not even know...

Answer:
Yes anyone can get herpes. I contracted my herpes from a rapist when I was very young.

Answer:
Fuckin rapist!!! THIS is why they should have their dicks cut off....Sorry, this makes me so mad...they not only rape you and hurt you, but also leave you this little "gift". Give em all to me...I will castrate them!

But I digress, to the topic at hand. Yes, even nice people get herpes. I would say this : Sounds to me like the most recent partner is the one who gave you this shit (the older man). Simply because this sounds like an initial outbreak (major one and very painful...a PRIMARY outbreak...they are the worst!) and just the timing and everything. Herpes would have shown up in you blood work by now (I would imagine) had you gotten it from your other two partners. Unfortunately, there are many older men out there who prey on innocent young ladies and who are NOT very honorable at all...and are USE to manipulating young women who haven't much experience with me.

I am willing to be he is the one who gave it to you AND knows he has it...why would he have been tested in the first place if he didn't feel that he may have been exposed to it? (and yes there can be false negatives, you need to get tested during an outbreak.) I would go back to him and confront him in a very calm manner. Tell him the other two lads are clean....that HE needs to get a blood test.

I have to commend you for being so honest with the other two guys as well. That is no easy feat, and I applaud you for having some spine and taking action. Do not be ashamed of yourself. It is a crappy lesson you have had to learn, and you do not deserve this, but you are not a bad girl for having this happen to you. Please get alot of literature and help and counseling if need be to help you learn about herpes and how to deal/cope with it. Make sure to eat healthy, take vitamins, and get some exercise.

hugs to you.

Answer:
a bit of advice for you..... go back and tell your "friends" the whole thing was a huge scare, that you dont have it. This one little bit of information they have on you is just to juicy and easy to share with others yet can have a huge impact on you. Obviously you cant trust them, you might even consider unfriending them, and even when you though you could trust them you couldnt. imagine if you wernt even friends anymore? I share this suggestion hoping you will not go through what I have and learn the hard way. Tell those girls and maybe even your ex boyfriends (except of course the pig who gave it to you) that the whole this was thankfully a mistake and you are herpes free. You can allways come to this forum to express your feelings and get support, you will eventually find people you can be honest with and talk about it with. good luck and keep your head up, you will go through many phases of dealing but will eventually find your way.

Answer:
I got it from the first man I ever slept with and I knew that guy for two years before I slept with him so anyone can get it. You don't have to be a bad person to get it I know this cause I'm not a bad person but yet I have it. There is a reason for everything in life and right now I'm trying to find out the reason for me getting herpes but I'm sure that there is a reason. The guy who gave it to me didn't even know he had it till I told him and now he knows but I'm sure he won't do anything about it. Which is sad.

Answer:
I can sympathize with you. I was in a 2+ year relationship with the guy who gave it to me. I had been missinformed at the time about the incubation time. within 2 to 3 weeks is the average wait time till it shows up, sometimes sooner, rarely later. I thought the incubation time had been months so I thought I gave ti to him and he let me. I ended up throwing him out when I was 3 months pregnant for other reasons but when our daughter was 5 months old, my friend was doing research on a paper for her graduate class and found that it only takes those few weeks to show up. The longest incubation time recorded in the various studies she found was 28 days. These were studies dont just on Genetal Herpes. not any other type. Im sorry you have but do not be ashamed of having it. Now that its a part of you, you should take some times and get used to having it before you share your news with the world.
Im not ashamed to have herpes, im not ashamed of trusting my ex, and im sure as hell not shamed that I have a boyfriend who MIGHT get it. I just told myself when we first started dating that if he really likes me, he will understand and work with me on my sex issues. Sure, I will feel bad if he gets it, but I will not feel so bad because he knows the dangers of being with me intimately. Good luck Bombshell, just take some time for you and you will see that herpes isnt the worst thing that could have happened to you.
Oh and keep in mind that if you had gotten HIV from this older man, you could have sued him for premeditated murder. even thought your not dead. Keep that in mind when you start feeling down about having an STD that isn't curable.
HUGS

Answer:
There are attorney's out there that can help you seek justice. I'm in the process of suing my ex for giving me herpes.

Check in to it.

Answer:
I got it from the first man I ever slept with and I knew that guy for two years before I slept with him so anyone can get it. You don't have to be a bad person to get it I know this cause I'm not a bad person but yet I have it. There is a reason for everything in life and right now I'm trying to find out the reason for me getting herpes but I'm sure that there is a reason. The guy who gave it to me didn't even know he had it till I told him and now he knows but I'm sure he won't do anything about it. Which is sad. wow we are so much alike!

I knew my partner for years before we slept togther. He was my best friend. I was also a virgin and contracted this POS virus my first time which conveniently was on Valentines Day. He also knew, never did anything about it. Cheated on me and has been with others since. Id love to see his dick run over by a truck. :evil: