Question:
This may be not too bad of a disease physically, but it is sooooo hard emotionally. I feel diseased. My happiest, most peaceful times have been when I've been in serious relationships, and sex is so important for a good relationship. Things will be different for the rest of my life. I'm not the same person anymore. Rarely happy, always worrying. I sometimes will have good days, but then pummel back down to depression.

I have everything in life - great career, friends, health otherwise. I am good-looking, and girls really like me. But I have no confidence anymore. I am so mad, and I feel so isolated from the people I love. I want to be happy again, make jokes, make people laugh and like being around me. I want to love myself again.

Please, Lord, grant us with this disease peace and happiness. I'm so sorry I've sinned against you and my body. Please don't let peace and happiness be over at my age of 27.

I feel for anyone going through similar negative feelings, and hope I don't bring down anyone feeling positive.

Answer:
I hear ya. I've never been very good at social occasions in the first place, so this disease has ruined any chance of a social life for me. It's been a long time since I've had a girlfriend, and living alone and not doing much of anything but work for about 4 years is psychologically destructive.

I really have no advice. I just try not to think about my future. Keeps me from killing myself.

Answer:
Hey wasup...Wasup!? At least you realize you're just "going through" something. You may not get back to your old self exactly...but you will actually become a stronger new self in ways you would not have been able to without going through this. This experience will make you stronger and teach you things you could not otherwise learn.
It will become easier. But will depend on how you view it.
Here is one of the best responses I've read for someone going through what you're going through:


TheHerp...you aren't helping newcomers with that kind of reponse.
Hold still for a sec...Slap! Smack! Whack! Ok...back to your senses? You should print up Rap daughter's link above and stick it to your fridge for daily affirmations. Really. Sorry you are taking it so hard. Try and read more positive posts. It's really doesn't have to be that bad dude.
Go out and join something. Wherever your interests lie. Don't put pressure on yourself to meet someone when you do it. Just have fun.

Answer:
Sorry. I am a newcomer too. I figured I'd use this thread to express my problem since the tread starter seems to feel the exact same way as me. I just didn't see any point to starting a new thread for the same topic. I wasn't trying to make things worse for him. :oops:

Answer:
52 yr old female, waited sexually for 6 yrs for right guy to come along, he told me before we got married he had Herpes, went to Dr. who said I would probably get it no matter what I did, only 2 mo after marriage came down with strangest symptoms, headache, constipation, siatica, swelling, was on trip out of state, got home got to Dr. got diganosed, devistated, scared, shocked, trying not to devistate my new husband who is feeling horrible, we live 400 miles apart, now alone, hurt, clueless on what to do.

Answer:
For The Herp and Wasup,

You know what ....it IS ok to come here and vent how you feel, especially since your are newbies to this shit. (and it IS shit...I agree!)

I disagree when folks stomp on how you are suppose to feel about this disease (or any disease.) I think we have ALL had down in the dump days and felt extremely depressed because of this disease. I know of people who HAVE felt suicidal, for various reasons, due to this disease.

I would rather you come here and vent it out, and get HELP from all of us, and hopefully seek counseling from professionals, than to have NO ONE TO TALK TO AND HOLD THOSE FEELINGS IN...and then possibly harm or kill yourself. NEVER EVER hold things like that in. I am willing to bet there are SEVERAL people on this message board who have the same feelings and want SO bad to tell someone, to reach out to another human being who just might understand them, as they do not get it from anywhere else. And when their feelings are squashed here....it just makes things worse for the person who was reaching out.

I will tell you this : THINGS WILL GET BETTER. Sure, it is an up and down roller coaster ride, but then, so is life. I have my up days, and then I have my down days...lately I have had more down days, but much of it I know is reactionary and psychosomatic. I have an infant son, and I am utterly paranoid of transmitting it to him some how...I have developed a form of OCD due to this disease and since the birth of my infant son. So it is very hard at times, living with this, but I am sure over time, this will begin to subside. I recently had my first outbreak in MONTHS...so I was bummed out, cranky and lashing out at everyone for all of 12 hours. I took some suppressives, jacked up my lysine and vitamin C intake....and now it is already gone! (yay!) I am back to my silly dorky ole self (who washes her hands nine million times a day! hahaha!)

But I won't lie to you...there ARE those days when I feel lousy, ask myself WHY WHY WHY?!!? ( I know why, my ex boyfriend is a lying shit....) and I feel so blue and helpless. Other days, I don't even think about it. (or try not to.) It DOES help that my boyfriend is my rock of gibraltar. He has never ever made me feel bad or guilty, and his strength gives me even MORE strength to kick this shit in the ass and remain strong. You two WILL eventually find someone who is loving and good and kind to you. She will accept you despite the fact you have herpes...there ARE ways around having this crap and still being in a loving relationship. A little extra caution and cleanliness is involved but HEY, what is the old saying? Cleanliness is next to Godliness! ahem...hehehee.

So...don't beat yourselves up over this stuff. It will not help you with your outbreaks. Stay healthy and strong. If you ARE depressed and you ARE having suicidal thoughts, please...don't let people make you feel guilty for having suicidal thoughts...you need HELP. This is a cry for help. You can email ME privately if you wish, and just vent, if you feel you can not bring up your anguish here. I have BIG shoulders to cry on and I have BIG ears to listen (well, type and I shall read!) I would hate to think that someone on this board killed themselves because of this damn herpes and that NO BODY HERE HELPED them.

So please lads....don't do it. Contact me, OR contact a local counselor, planned parenthood (they have good people there to talk to) a friend, anything. Don't let this damn virus take your life. IT is not worth it, and you ARE.

Answer:
GrrrOuch baby, nobody is stomping on anyone. If someone comes here to rant and makes their own post, great. But if you reply to someones rant and it makes them feel worse...maybe think twice about that. I think TheHerp understood what I said and was not offended, (or he probably would have defended himself) maybe take time to read and absorb before you run off on a tangent. :shock:

Answer:
Razor, thanks for your first post. I have had a couple of really good days. I know there are more bad ones to come, but at least I'm finally believing that it does get better. I'd like to believe I will turn out stronger in the end.

I admit, at the start, I did have thoughts of hurting myself. That's normal - there was a big survey of 3000 people with herpes that said upon diagnosis, 1/3rd thought of suicide. Probably a good proportion of the general population considers suicide at some point in their lives as well. You may have yourself before you got herpes. So we shouldn't feel guilty for having felt that way. But now everytime I make a friend laugh or feel productive at work I feel that my life can still carry on the same, for the most part. And right now that feels good. TheHerp I'm sure you have lots to live for too, and hope you feel better and don't carry through any thoughts of hurting yourself.

Answer:
To Wasup and theherp:

I do not think my words made things worse for either of you, I was hoping they would help....if not, let me know. Wasup...I am glad to hear you are having better days...and yes, I would be willing to bet your friends, family and coworkers love to have you around making them laugh. This disease doesn't define you....it is just a super big pain in the ass hurdle we have to deal with.

To Razor:

I stand by what I wrote until I hear differently from either party. (wasup and theH) I am offering a helping HAND to these people, not telling them how to live their life OR how they should feel. I would hate to think that a person feels they have NOWHERE they can turn and hurt themselves.

Suicidal thoughts are NOT meant to be taken lightly. Sure many people have them, many of them right here on this message board,and while for most these are fleeting thoughts, many folks are truly at their wits end. They feel helpless, alone and have nobody to share their innermost feelings with. They might feel able to do so in the annonimity of a message/help board such as this one....I felt your post, while nice, was a bit too jocular and dismissive. That is MY opinion, and I am entitled to it. I am quite capable of "reading and absorbing". Having WORKED with suicidal individuals....this is of the UTMOST importance and seriousness to me.

It is SO important for people to work through/out ALL emotions....and to know they have outlets. If I am on a "tangent"...too bad. I am more concerned right now for extending a helping hand to these two lads.