Question:
I was just dressing the baby when I noticed a huge red bump around his lip...looks like it might be the beginning of a coldsore. He is squirming alot so it is hard for me to get a really good look, but it made me think.

He is only 15 months old. he ALWAYS has his fingers in his mouth. he is always rubbing his eyes. If this IS a coldsore, what do I do to keep him from spreading it?!?!?! (to his eyes or elsewhere?!!? when I change him he always grabs his little "package" down there. )

I am desolate. This would be my worst fear recognized. Despite MY careful attempts to not spread this shit to my infant, other people are not so compliant with my wishes (kissing him, feeding him from the same damn fork and/or spoon....) What makes adults think they can go up to a person's baby and start touching and kissing them??? total strangers?!?! It pisses me off to no end! Makes me sick. I am glad everyone thinks my child is so adorable, but please keep the dirty ass mouths off of him! And it is family members too. I specifically ask people not to feed him from there fork or spoon and they do not care/listen.


The icing on the cake of this is: I am breast feeding this baby still. I have been trying to wean him and it has been very difficult, but whatever. NOW I am worried about breast feeding him. Is he going to transmit/spread herpes to my breast? what should I do?!?! DOES ANYONE OUT THERE HAVE ANY HELP/ANSWERS FOR ALL OF THIS?! What do we DO? This is not an older child who I can teach how to take care of himself, this is a baby.

I want to puke right now. I am sick to my stomach. I know I know SO MANY people get coldsores, usually in childhood, blah blah blah. I don't care about fuckin' statistics right now. I care about my infant, and the best way to protect him. And I need help with this. I can take him to a doctor, but most of the doctors here are worthless idiots. I hate to say that, but it is true. Especially when it comes to things of this nature.

Any and all help would be greatly appreciated.

Answer:
oh my... I don't have the answer... but I wanted to give you a big hug.. reading that made me cry for you... I think it is all of our biggest fears... :(

Answer:
Here's 2 whole cents:

I'm thinking you want to have it cultured? Even with one of the idiot doctors. Knowing what it is (or ruling out HSV) may be worth something because if it is HSV, his immune system may not be up to the task of dealing with a new virus like HSV without some help (I'm thinking about the adult used drugs that slow down HSV replication especially in primary infections). Can he wear little mittens temporarily? Has he been immunized against Chicken pox, measles, etc., not that all parents choose to do that? Also, maybe the bump can be numbed if he is agitated by it (by some cocaine derived stuff they sometimes prescribe externally on HSV blisters--in gel form) so he won't "mess" with it with his hands so much.

To your other point: Our culture is really going to have to change. It's long overdue. I am prejudiced against dog and cat owners, especially those who assume their animals are cute and adorable to me too, or that I also want to touch them, pet them, have their wet noses wiped against my clothes, be licked by them or otherwise be awash in their bodily fluids. I absolutely hate it. It's entirely disgusting and ridiculous for boundaries like these to not be respected and maintained as a matter of routine--whether between adults and other people's children or whatever...And if HIV and Birdflu haven't been the wake up call for viruses jumping across species and across humans then the sleeping can't be 'woke up'.... I love snakes and my fantasy is to go up to an evil dog lover and their saliva slinging dogs and have a few baby ball pythons wrapped around my neck and wrists and assume they want them crawling and hissing all over them....

Answer:
thanks guys. I have been worried sick (i am sure this is not helping me.) I am monitoring this red spot...it hasn't formed into blisters or anything as of yet. First sign, and then I am at the doctors for a hsv test for him.

BUT...my boyfriend just told me that they baby was on his shoulders yesterday and bonked his mouth on his hat. So that it could be a bump from that. Then he said, "oh yeah, and "j" (my older son) was wrestling around on the floor and stuff and accidently kicked the baby, so it could be THAT too."

(mind you, I had ASKED him earlier yesterday if the baby had fallen, or bonked his mouth, and at first he said no....men...they are so braindead sometimes...even the smartest of them!!! :roll: ) i guess once he saw how upset I was, it jarred his memory. But I am not going to mess around...first sign of the blisters, and I am outta here.

But it has really messed with my head. And I try to gather information online about what to do as a nursing mother, (should the child develope coldsores) and how to keep an infant from spreading it everywhere and you just can NOT find the information. It is the same old crap.

I think the mittens are a good idea to keep him from scratching at it, especially at night time. But he will tear them off during the day. And he is always rubbing his little eyes (my poor allergy baby.) THAt is what scares me the most.

I said it before, I Will say it again...I HATE this disease. It is just awful. It is robbing me of my peace of mind....not matter how hard I try not to let it get to me. I can deal with ME having it. I am over all that. It sucks, but eh...whatever, I am tough.

BUT my kids...no, I want to protect them no matter what!!


(ps....tohealth...I like the snake idea! hahaha! Just fyi, I use to have some red tail boas and a python. Lots of fun! Neat creatures. My neighbors use to know that I had snakes and I lied to them and said they crawled around my home freely...tell you what, that worked better than a guard dog! hahahaa. I had some really "questionable neighbors" at the time....all drug dealers...and damn near every house in my neighborhood got robbed at some point...except mine! hahaha! :twisted: )

My latest problem with dogs (and I DO love dogs, but...) is the neighbors who allow them to piss all over my front patio. Like I SO appreciate the heady smell of dog urine. God, Can I bottle it up, wipe it all over myself!? ugh. I have yelled at this one old bird who is under the impression she is the only person in this neighborhood and the rest of us be damned. Lets the doggy poop everywhere and doesn't pick it up. The rest of us have had it with her. It is just so....nasty! yuk.

Answer:
My neighbors use to know that I had snakes and I lied to them and said they crawled around my home freely...tell you what, that worked better than a guard dog! Oh Ouch that's awesome! Great visuals! (I'd love that actually 8) )

Answer:
Yeah, the neighborhood kids thought it was cool (what kid doesn't like snakes?! eh!?) but the grown ups were all freaked out. Our snakes were cool! the best is when we had a big party, and this one bloke kept insisting on holding my 6 ft python.....I had just fed "Fido" *yes. That was my snakes name!* and I finally gave in to this loudmouth. So he is holding Fido, prancing around, when all of the suddenly I hear "oh my GOD!"....

Fido had pooped on him. For those who do not know, snake poop is pretty big and pretty vile. I just laughed my ass off, told him to go clean up outside. Took my precious fido and put him back on his favorite branch he loved to lounge on in my den. HAHAHA! :lol:


On a side note, the baby's lip is looking good, if it was a coldsore outbreak, it went away awfully fast and wasn't much more than a red mark. I am still not sure what it is. My man thinks it is when he bonked his mouth, so I am hoping that is it. I am just going to keep a real close eye on him. If he ever comes back, and starts to really blister, I will get it cultured (and get him some good medicine to put on it.)

This is what I hate about having herpes. I second guess EVERYTHING now. EVERYTHING is herpes to me. Before I would shave my legs, or my nether regions, and if I got a razor burn/pimple...well, that was all it was, case closed. Now, I examine it and study it to be SURE it is a razor burn....or if my eczema acts up, I am looking at it and studying it, to make sure that is all it is, and not a herpe. I hate this shit. Herpes has totally messed with my peace of mind, and THAT I do not like. :x

Answer:
This is what I hate about having herpes. I second guess EVERYTHING now. EVERYTHING is herpes to me. Before I would shave my legs, or my nether regions, and if I got a razor burn/pimple...well, that was all it was, case closed. Now, I examine it and study it to be SURE it is a razor burn....or if my eczema acts up, I am looking at it and studying it, to make sure that is all it is, and not a herpe. I hate this shit. Herpes has totally messed with my peace of mind, and THAT I do not like. :x Good news on the baby. Maybe you can educate me on something: do you think that herpes made you 2nd guess things that aren't even health related? I'm just wondering how much you feel it has affected your general comfort with judgment (if at all). And do you think it is the context in which you acquired it or just the virus itself that made you second guess something?

Answer:
Thanks tohealth.

Hmmm...good question...good question. I have to ponder it for a minute.

For sure herpes has made me second guess just things in regards to my physical health. There is no question about that. Like I said, nothing is what it is anylonger (to me) I look at a simple rash and I see "herpes" all over it and I freak out. I second guess myself in matters of cleanliness (hence the profuse handwashing, etc.) It has altered my psyche tremendously in this way and I don't like it...BUT I don't see it changing anytime soon. I have to roll with it for now.

As far as judgement goes, I rarely, if ever, second guess my judgement. I am pretty steadfast when it comes to things of decision making, life direction, etc. With the exception of my first marriage (where I threw caution to the wind, I was young, dumb and ridiculously rebellious) I have always stuck to my guns where my decisions are concerned. I have always been a somewhat cautious, cool (as in a semi cold) person....I sit back and asses things and watch how they work before diving in. Relationships included. Thus, I have very few regrets in life. So this hasn't changed much. I am the same, maybe MORE cautious. sure I look at things in a much different light, how can you NOT, once infected with a lifelong virus like this. Even the simplest of things have gotten "soured" because I hate fools. Example. I will watch a sweet, romantic little movie or something, and there will be a love scene, and in my head, I am saying, "where is the condom, what about STDS, you stupid fucks...." I can't even just relax and watch a movie without somewhere in the back of my head, the STD song is playing! :twisted: God, watch the really bad daytime tv (can we say Maury Povich?!!? ) and all these fools cheating on each other and having 80 men tested to see if they are the baby daddy or shit like that, and nobody brings up the question "forget about who the baby daddy is...have you had some bloodwork done to test for STDS, you idiots!" Naturally, sane thinking people always think like this, but there are so many fools in the world who don't use their heads to think; they use their dicks and vaginas.

I look at people in general with new eyes. Nobody is immune to this. ANYBODY, including that douchebag ex president of our (Clinton) can have this disease. Or Bush' two sleezebag daughters. It can (and does) affect us all. It is like having xray vision almost...I see us humans, and we are such strong creatures, but so frail in the face of mother nature, disease, famine, natural disasters, and sometimes, our own inate urgings..

As for aquiring the disease....I feel it is the virus itself which makes me second guess. Not how I got it. I did what I felt was all the right things with my exboyfriend. I thought he was trustworthy. His being a douchebag doesn't make me second guess MY instinct for who is good or bad. He just slipped through the radar, unfortunately. Obviously, I will NEVER let that happen again.

Nay, it is definitely the virus. I think in part this has to do with the fact that there is so much wishy washy information about it. One person tells you one thing, another tells you something different, Dr. Blah blah blah say yada yada yada. There is not finite, TRUE knowledge and information about herpes. I like things a little more cut and dry. So I am SURE this helps out in my perpetual freak outs that I have! :roll:

Sorry so long winded. I don't know if this helped or answered your questions or not! lol!

Answer:
Definitely answered my question...was trying to understand the momentary little "legacies" HSV can have on people's personal behavioral constitutions...