Question:
Hi everyone,

Just signed up here. I was just diagnosed with herpes 2 weeks ago. I thought it would be a good idea for myself and my boyfriend of 3 months to get tested before we 'did' anything. I have it, he doesn't. Both of our doctor's act like it's no big deal...just use a condom. I'm usually a very confident 42 y/o female, but I've suddenly become insecure. I'm afraid he'll leave me because of this. He doesn't know what to do. We seem perfectly matched. Now we have this obstacle. What do you do when one has it and the other doesn't? We've been just using our hands but I don't think we can continue this way. Last night things were getting really heated and I just burst into tears because I knew we couldn't make love. Someone please tell us what to do. If we stay together as a couple, is he destined to get this?

rks

Answer:
you know, it is hard to say whether or not your BF will get this....there are many couples (like myself) where one has it the other doesn't, and it remains that way for the duration of the relationship.

Then there are the others who DO finally end up getting it. I think that probably in these cases, people get lax on prevention and safe sex. Some people are in long term, monogamous relationships anyways and so it is not that big of an issue for them. But, I have tried to always practice safe with my man and so far he is good. And we DID have unprotected sex in the past, because we were trying to get pregnant, and he still didn't catch it, so..... :D

It is just hard to say. Practice safe sex. Abstain during outbreaks or signs that an outbreak is on the way. Clean up good afterwards. (HSV HATES SOAP!) that is all you can do. use your best judgement and basic common sense.

Good luck to you, I hope it all works out well.