Question:
Hello, Im new to this site and i really need some people to talk to. I'm 18 years old and just found out that i had herpes.

I was dating this boy for about 3 months, and we became sexually active. We only had sex 4 times, and every time we used protection. We were even SO CAREFUL as to stop in the middle of getting really intimate to go to the store and get condoms. He called me one day and told me he went to the doctor for a sore on his penis and he was diagnosed with genital herpes.

last week i got a terrible "rash" on me and i was getting sick at work, and was being told i looked pale and sickly. i knew exactly what it was because i had researched the symptoms, and it was every single one i saw.

i am in so much fucking pain and so uncomfortable. i cry every night because i really trusted him- and im not a whore! its not fair.. i live in a small area and if anyone finds out i'll be labeled "nasty".

i feel like I'll never be able to find anyone that really cares about me. and if i do, they'll be scared away by this.

Im constantly getting hit on everywhere i go, and normally i just laugh and dont think anything of it. But now, it makes me break down and cry because its like- no matter who i meet no one's gonna want to be with a girl who has herpes EWW!

im so confused and scared. no one even knows i have it yet. i feel like my life is over and im so upset. i work 2 jobs, and im constantly wanting to scream from discomfort and i cant do anything about it.

someone please help me. i feel like i just want to die. ive never been suicidal before, but the thought has crossed my mind hundreds of times this past week.

id really appreciate some replies. thank you

sAdLiLcLoWn

Answer:
First of all, take a deep breath. You are not dirty, or nasty. Most people on this site are upstanding, respectable people who caught herpes in the same way. WE are all not dirty nasty people.

Did this guy know he had herpes before he was with you? if you used protection, it is not always foolproof against herpes. Even if you are "rubbing around down there" with out actual penetration ,the skin to skin contact can cause you to contract herpes. But I am wondering if he knew before hand. Are you still in contact with him?

herpes sucks. As you know, outbreaks happen, and they are miserable. BUT it is not the end of the world. There are ways to take care of yourself to help prevent outbreaks, or at least lessen them. Did your doctor at least prescribe you an antiviral? Valtrex or Acyclovir to help lessen the pain of the outbreaks? Check into that, because that can be very crucial at these early stages of your outbreaks, while your poor little body is trying to get use to the virus in it.

There are also things like Choraphor to use (I do, since I can not take the antiviral meds) and it seems to clear it up pretty quickly. Stings like a son of a gun, but only for a few minutes and no worse than the pain of the outbreak itself, and like I said, it works well for me, so maybe it will work for you.

You sound like a good kid. Working two jobs and what not. You are a young lady with the world ahead of you, please do not let this stupid virus change the course of your life and make you feel less of yourself. You are still YOU, you just have this virus that, while life altering, is NOT a death sentence. Continue to be the vibrant, wonderful girl you are. Flirt with guys, date, you do not have to tell anyone you have this until things get serious and you feel that you are going to be intimate with them. There are section here on this website that help with "telling".

But nobody needs to know you have herpes, and I am willing to bet many of your friends and neighbors ALSO have herpes.

Ever see anyone with a coldsore? Guess what? That is herpes. They have it.

1 in 4 american have genital herpes. The numbers are probably higher because so people do not know (or are in denial) that they have it. Look around you. Pick out 8 people, other than yourself. At least one of those folks have genital herpes. Even in smalltown, USA. So you ARE NOT ALONE.

I caught herpes from a boyfriend who lied to me 3 years ago (over 3 now..) I am not a bad person. I am a grown woman, in my 30s and thought I was past the whole STD thing (most people tend to get stds in their teens and twenties.) AND he worked in the medical field, you think he would have known better , but nope, he was a douchebag. I do not feel any less of myself because I have herpes. I am in a wonderful relationship with an amazing man who DOES NOT have herpes, and I will NEVER EVER let anyone treat me like shit just because I have this.

Sure, it drives me crazy from time to time, I have developed some weird issues since I got it (I have a form of OCD now...whole different story/post) but for the most part, I just continue to live my life. While herpes is always in the back of my head, and always will be, I just try not to let it get me down.

Do the same. keep your chin up. Kick some ass, work, go to college and take some courses. There is a whole big wonderful world out there to see and explore...wow, i wish I were 18 again!!! You have your whole life ahead of you....make the most of it. Don't let this little road bump stop ya!

Good luck and I hope you having a better day. Call the doctor about them meds!
:D

Answer:
I'm so sorry. You will 'feel' better soon. Yes, feeling like no one will want a person with herpes is exactly how I felt. I had to approach a man I love and tell him that my ex apparently gave me this. I expected him to turn and run away - he's younger than me and I figured he'll want someone younger (prettier I would suppose) and 'clean'. He didnt run and I learned to accept the situation. I still have days where I feel like 'typhoid mary' and yet I try to remind myself of all the things I could have like HIV, sometimes it helps sometimes it doesnt. I just found this site myself because I was devastated over learning I passed this onto my man. I have found great comfort and friends and have learned a lot about the disease I did not know. I also feel not so 'abnormal' knowing there are others dealing with the same feelings or similar situations. I hope I brought you just a little comfort today.