Question:
What do you really think? Do we have a moral/legal obligation to reveal our std status to all sexual partners? Have any of you heard of legal issues resulting from knowingly transmitting stds, HSV specifically?

(It seems from a lot of what I've read, not this site specifically though, that the majority of HSV carries are in denial, refuse to be tested or just lie. I contacted HSV from a long term, I thought monogomous relationship, with a man who knew he had HSV for over 12 years. It was his sister who told me after I broke up with him---because he physically abused me two times in ten days. I think she felt sorry for me or maybe it just slipped out because of her own frustration with his actions. He emailed me back saying that his herpes was a 'personal issue' he 'forgot' he had and he was 'forgiven' by God. Besides, he's been tested and is now 'clean.' He refuses to believe that doctors do not routinely test for HSV unless you ask. I had to go back to the doctor and request HSV testing after talking to this man's sister. My doctor was already aware that, from my opinion, this partner put me at 'high risk' because of his admitted infidelity and she didn't test me for HSV in the first round of routine tests. He doesn't understand why I feel so betrayed and abused. We attended mitigation together to discuss his responsibility because I am absolutely broke from paying doctor bills from the abuse and std issues resulting from his choices. I've had 16 various doctor/lab/hospital visits in the last six weeks. No joke. He said during mitigation that he feels like he should help pay, but I haven't seen a dime.)

Ok, back to the point, so, now I'm wondering,...is this is the way a lot of people think? (This isn't about sympathy for my specific situation. I shared that so you can have a picture of my situation.) Personally, I feel responsible for my choice to be with this man and know in my heart that everyone I place at risk should know my status. The high number of people infected with HSV (1 or 2 or both 1 & 2) in America (apx. 200 million if the stats I've read are true) indicates a lot of ignorance and 'personal choice' as to who needs to know our std status. If these stats true that at least 20% of Americans are HSV 2 positive and up to 80% are HSV 1 positive, then do we have a moral/legal obligation to inform partners of our status? If so, should we only tell if it is genital HSV 1 or 2? What do you think?

Answer:
I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

We're happy to have you here.

I believe that we do have a legal and moral responsibility to disclose this fact to potential partners. Yes, you could be perceived as partly responsible for your current status, however you mentioned you are able to prove that this man you were involved in was/is uneducated/misinformed enough (for lack of better words) to consider that he should have disclosed his status to you. It frustrates me the lack of sexual education in this country.

You're in my thoughts.

Answer:
i think its illegal to go around screwing other people if u have aids. especially if u know u have it... i rem some law suit about this.

idk about herpes though

Answer:
Well, here's the problem that will arise with a long-term relationship issue. My ex probably has it. Why do I think this? Well, I was faithful for the whole 18 years plus the 3 years before we married and prior to that had only a few partners which we took precautions. I found out he WAS NOT faithful (proved it for the divorce). I apparently have it internally so never knew until recently. When I recently tested positive I called and asked and was told "I don't have it, you must have 'cheated' on me and got it that way." HOWEVER how can I be sure? Did I have it when we got together? That is always in the back of my mind. Yes, I was tested early in our marriage as my Doctor suspected something behind the Severe Yeast Infection I was having - it came back negative then. This time around many many years later it came back positive. So this leads into your legal question: think carefully, how do you prove that the person gave it to you? Court is nasty (ask me after 4 years of divorce and kid shit) and I can just picture him accusing me of infidelity! That I gave it to him not the other way around - it's your word versus the other person. The only thing I personally decided was to let it go, learn about this and move on. Dwelling and staying angry just wont help. I wish you peace and hope I've helped you a bit.

Answer:
I think turning Herpes into a moral or legal issue is stupid for a few reasons.

1. The more people that get it, the faster we will come up with a cure
2. You don?t go suing your class mate that came to class with the flu do you? The only difference is that EVERYONE has the flu virus and we spend tons of money on vaccines for it (same thing we?d do if everyone had herpes virus). You cant ask a person to stop breathing so they don?t spread the flu right? IMO on a biological level asking a species to stop having sex is equivalent to asking a species to stop breathing.
3. By the logic of some of the people on this forum we should sue our grandmother for giving us cold soars when we where kids.

If the legal system put heavy restraints on the spread of herpes than those who had it would have a greater stigma over their head and would be even more isolated, and more importantly a cure wouldn?t be economically feasible for such a small portion of the population causing this virus to live on indefinitely.

On the other hand if everyone becomes infected than a market for the cure becomes available and shit starts happening, then we can beat this thing for ever.

The death rate for HIV/AIDS is extremely high compared to Herpes making it more appropriate for legal actions, it?s a virus that can indeed be used a weapon. Unless your fucking someone that?s immunodeficient than your not really putting them at great risk.

So for everyone that wants to sue someone for giving them herpes why don?t you just let it go and concentrate on yourself? As you live your life interactions with other people will constantly inconvenience you and that?s all herpes is, an inconvenience. So get over it, no ones perfect, not even you.

I got Herpes from a five year relationship that has gone down the tubes. She didn?t tell me but I don?t hold a grudge, she wasn?t being malicious she was just scared and embarrassed. I had one outbreak 2yrs ago and haven?t seen anything since and even the outbreak wasn?t the worst thing to ever happen to me.

The only way to wise people up and get rid of the social stigma is to infect the whole population.

Answer:
The only way to wise people up and get rid of the social stigma is to infect the whole population.
I think that last sentence was by far the stupidest thing I have ever read in my life...and unfortunately, I have had to bare witness to some mighty stupid things. This takes the cake!

How irresponsible and ridiculous. I do NOT want the whole population infected with herpes just to appease YOUR sensibilities on what should be stigmatized and what shouldn't!!! How galling! Or as a means to cure/contain it. For YOU. I don't want anyone to have this, not my family, not my friends, not my enemies, not my neighbors...NOBODY deserves this virus.

I do NOT want my children infected with herpes. EVER. I cry for women who DO have children born with neonatal herpes. THIS is happening more and more, with the RISE of herpes, and women being UNAWARE they even do have it. Have you seen a newborn baby infected with herpes? Do some research maybe THEN you will think differently. What about innocent victims of RAPE who not only have to deal with the emotional turmoil of such a violent ACT UPON THEM , BUT ALSO THE PAIN AND SUFFERING CAUSED BY THIS STD....the emotional turmoil HERPES causes a person when they find out they have it is bad enough. I don't care how many people have this disease and if we all do hands across america because of it....it is a painful, horrible affliction for most of us here. Forget the stigma....lets talk about the basic PAIN caused by herpes!

How about these poor kids who end up with ocular herpes, because when they were little they rubbed a coldsore....then rubbed there little eyes, thus spreading it.

I think this sort of savoir faire attitude is SCARY. Do YOU practice safe sex and tell your partners??

No, we should not be treated different because we have herpes, or like lepers. Nothing is different about us and who we are. HOWEVER, to be so negligent as to NOT tell people you have this virus is more than criminal. It is heinous. We DO HAVE A MORAL AND LEGAL OBLIGATION TO TELL POTENTIAL PARTNERS OUR STATUS

To Cooler Pdx:
AND YES! YOU CAN SUE THIS MOTHER FUCKER WHO GAVE THIS TO YOU!
I would sue him first and foremost for putting you into the hospital. Make his ass sit in a jail cell for a while too! Sick pig. Then sue him for knowingly giving you herpes. I dont care how ignorant he might claim to be of the disease...he obviously knew enough about it to confide into his sister that he has it, so....sue him until he is blind. He screwed you, now screw him, legally.

I hope to GOD TOHEALTH reads this post , as she HAS sued the person who gave her herpes, it wasn't a bullshit lawsuit either. She has some great legal knowledge, more than I can offer here.....but look her up and talk to her, she can steer you in the right direction.

dont get me wrong, I am not into frivolous lawsuits, but at the same time....we alll know right from wrong. He obviously is a cruel human being and didnt have any qualms about infecting you. I wish you luck and stay strong!

Answer:
By the logic of some of the people on this forum we should sue our grandmother for giving us cold soars when we where kids. You're taking Coolerpdx's question out of context and you know it.

On the other hand if everyone becomes infected than a market for the cure becomes available and shit starts happening, then we can beat this thing for ever. Um, this IS a virus! Virus = parasite. YOU DON'T KILL VIRUSES!

Unless your fucking someone that?s immunodeficient than your not really putting them at great risk. REALLY? Would the person I hypothetically pass this virus on to feel the same way? I DON'T THINK SO! I know I don't appreciate the inability to talk at work because the pain of prodrome is so great AND I TEACH! I CAN'T LET MY STUDENTS SEE I'M IN PAIN AND YOU DON'T THINK THIS IS A SERIOUS ISSUE?!

So for everyone that wants to sue someone for giving them herpes why don?t you just let it go and concentrate on yourself? As you live your life interactions with other people will constantly inconvenience you and that?s all herpes is, an inconvenience. So get over it, no ones perfect, not even you. Thank you so very much for telling everyone on this site what we already know about ourselves. No, we're not perfect, however we are wonderful, beautiful people and NOBODY deserves to have this virus! I'm sure once you recieved your diagnosis, someone mentioned the word lawsuit to you as well; whether or not you decided to follow through with it was your prerogative. REGARDLESS, one has the right to consider this action ESPECIALLY if this virus was passed to them against their will/ without their knowledge.

The only way to wise people up and get rid of the social stigma is to infect the whole population. I hope I don't know you offline; you are the kind of person I do not want to know.

Answer:
Ouch,
To think that my post is purely of selfish connotation is ridiculous. I have seen pictures of neonatal Herpes infections and I have myself toured a level three neonatal intensive care unit, and have seen a plethora of much more serious problems. I would be thrilled if my infant had HSV over RSV wouldn?t you? Since RSV has such a terrible effect on little babies we have somewhat recently come up with a vaccine to keep it from the infants environment until its old enough to handle it. But how many children had to die in order for it to happen? 4 that I know of in the vary unit I toured.

This has less to do with me than you think, sure I hate the stigma, and everything else that comes along with this virus but if you want to stop the suffering than PEOPLE HAVE TO BE INFECTED WITH IT. Especially kids that makes it all the more terrible, and gives more funding to fix it. How many kids would still be dying of RSV if it had killed a lower ratio of children, in the long run it would have killed more babies if it wouldn?t have been so terrible as to get our attention right away.

I suggest you do some research and deep thinking yourself, I have spent three years studying Viruses, Pathogens, microorganisms, and parasites. I have done in-depth research on pandemics and how there are spread and resolved. You might think im crazy for my ideas, unfortunately it?s simply because you don?t understand them. Just ask yourself what is the greater good here?

By the logic of some of the people on this forum we should sue our grandmother for giving us cold soars when we where kids. You're taking Coolerpdx's question out of context and you know it. I wasn?t referring to Coolerpdx specifically; I have been reading these lawsuit threads all over this website for a long time now. I?m talking about some of those people I see posting in other threads. Not only that but perhaps you can explain exactly how im taking anything out of context here?


On the other hand if everyone becomes infected than a market for the cure becomes available and shit starts happening, then we can beat this thing for ever. Um, this IS a virus! Virus = parasite. YOU DON'T KILL VIRUSES! Yea thanks for enlightening me. As a Bio Chem major I had no idea you couldn?t kill a virus. Then again how do you kill something that?s not living to begin with? Perhaps the problem here is your delusional reading; everyone else probably noticed that I never said anything about killing a virus. Or perhaps you?re illiterate to the word ?Cure?? Here ill help you out http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Cure

Oh and so you don?t make the same mistake twice a parasite IS NOT a virus. They are extremely different. A Parasite is a complete living organism that lives within or on the surface of another organism. It usually requires the host organism for survival. Oh and FYI you CAN KILL a parasite. (come on this is freshman Bio stuff by the way)

I?d explain how viruses work for you however, after reading your remark im convinced it would go right over your head. If you want to be enlightened Wikipedia is a good place to start.


Unless your fucking someone that?s immunodeficient than your not really putting them at great risk. REALLY? Would the person I hypothetically pass this virus on to feel the same way? I DON'T THINK SO! I know I don't appreciate the inability to talk at work because the pain of prodrome is so great AND I TEACH! I CAN'T LET MY STUDENTS SEE I'M IN PAIN AND YOU DON'T THINK THIS IS A SERIOUS ISSUE?! Thank you for illustrating my point, you are inconvenienced by this virus (we all are), but what risk are you at? Did you even read what I said?

So for everyone that wants to sue someone for giving them herpes why don?t you just let it go and concentrate on yourself? As you live your life interactions with other people will constantly inconvenience you and that?s all herpes is, an inconvenience. So get over it, no ones perfect, not even you. Thank you so very much for telling everyone on this site what we already know about ourselves. No, we're not perfect, however we are wonderful, beautiful people and NOBODY deserves to have this virus! I'm sure once you recieved your diagnosis, someone mentioned the word lawsuit to you as well; whether or not you decided to follow through with it was your prerogative. REGARDLESS, one has the right to consider this action ESPECIALLY if this virus was passed to them against their will/ without their knowledge. I?m glad you brought this up, when I was first infected I decided to read a little into this disease, I read posts regarding people getting sued over passing this virus on. So in order to protect myself (which I think everyone would agree it?s wise to protect themselves) I was never officially diagnosed. It says nowhere on any record that I have HSV, and me not getting diagnosed is directly related to some people bringing these petty law suits into the equation.

The only way to wise people up and get rid of the social stigma is to infect the whole population. I hope I don't know you offline; you are the kind of person I do not want to know. Excuse me but you know nothing about me, im sure it would shock you to know that I have NEVER infected another individual with this disease. In fact I haven?t even had a new partner since I had my first outbreak. Again this is because I personally have too big of a heart to inconvenience some one with this disease. That and I cant bare anyone know I have it. However I can also look at the big picture, If the suffering of this virus is to stop than situation needs to be severe enough for something to be done. And that?s the truth, im just not the person to carry it out.

Answer:
To think that my post is purely of selfish connotation is ridiculous. I have seen pictures of neonatal Herpes infections and I have myself toured a level three neonatal intensive care unit, and have seen a plethora of much more serious problems. I would be thrilled if my infant had HSV over RSV wouldn?t you? Since RSV has such a terrible effect on little babies we have somewhat recently come up with a vaccine to keep it from the infants environment until its old enough to handle it. But how many children had to die in order for it to happen? 4 that I know of in the vary unit I toured First off, I DO think it is selfish to say something that we should "infect everyone in society" with herpes, just to kick the pants of government and science to hurry a vaccination to prevent herpes. I think that such a statement is also a bit cavalier. I believe that we should be hitting the pavement, the schools, the bars, the gyms, EVERYWHERE to educate people about herpes and coldsores, because obviously, they "ain't gettin' it!" Knowledge IS power....not infecting a society as a whole with a virus that affects each individual differently.

You want to talk to me about RSV?!?!? How dare you. My SON HAD THIS VIRUS AT 7 MONTHS OLD AND HAD IT FOR 2 MONTHS! HE WAS IN AND OUT OF HOSPITALS! And yes, it is scary, and yes, it IS especially dangerous for infants. But this is something that is damn near air bourne. There is not alot we can do to prevent it, other than wrapping our butts up in a bubble and becoming the "bubble people". Snot and spittle tend to fly about through sneezing...gets onto hands (not everyone is as meticulous as I am about handwashing...THAT is another post) and people touch one another and voila....a cold. A virus. It is the world we live in and there is nothing much we can do about it.

Herpes on the other hand, IS preventable, should the people who have it NOT have sex with another person. Be it through abstinence or safe sex, it IS AVOIDABLE TO PASS ON GENITAL HERPES. Unfortunately, whether it is blatant ignorance, rabid cruelty OR the simple fact of being unaware , it can and DOES spread this virus. Hence the reason I feel that along with an HIV and Syphllis blood test, the health care community should automatically test for HSV1 and 2. Yeah, I know, most of us in the world HAVE hsv1, but do the testing none the less, as we have a right to know what our bodies are infected with. But there is NO REASON herpes simplex 2 should be transmitted, without both parties knowing one or the other has it. NONE. This is utterly ludicrous. And it is up to us as adults to TELL our partners we have it, unless one is just looking for casual, one night stands....then, I dont know what to say. Either be honest with each one nighter OR look for people who also have hsv. i am not saying we shouldn't go out and get buckwild and turn into monks because we have herpes. I am saying to use BASIC COMMON SENSE!!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!

If you and I are standing next to one another, and I have herpes and you don't, guess what?!!?!? You are NOT going to catch it. Case closed. We can not say the same about something like...RSV, can we?

This however, doesn't mean that researchers and medical science should throw their hands up and say NAY....we shan't look for a vaccine....

With the epidemic rise in herpes (and you should know this if you work as a biochemist...it IS becoming epidemic) they ARE trying to find vaccines to protect those who do not have hsv. They (medical researchers, etc....I have a friend who works with a particular pharma company.....he tells me little secrets all the time, MONEY is the big issue right now....money for meds that we really do not need and playing up on our fears that we all NEED these meds...until they let this little money river run the gamut, only THEN will we start seeing some action towards vaccinations) are finally starting to get scared. We do not NEED to wish for the world to be infected, we are all infecting ourselves, enough to where it calls for action. And fast.

As for neo natal herpes, I HAVE seen it up close and personal. The day my son was born. there was a baby in the nursery.....hooked up to tubes....so helpless and in pain. I don't think I have ever cried so hard as I did that day. As a new mother, with her own baby, and knowing my herpes status, it was a real hit in the head for me. I spoke with the woman who had the baby, she never knew she had herpes, and they never tested her for it.....perhaps this could have been prevented if it was a standard part of testing in pregnant women...but it is not. I shared my tears with this woman as a mother, and as a human being. No. I do NOT want more people infected with this shit. And I certainly do not want children infected with it. I will do whatever in my power to educate people as well as take a stand against the pharma companies and big business to help push to get a vaccine out there. Something. Anything. there have to be societal changes along with the birth of new medicine.

Infecting society as a whole is not the answer. Comparing viruses is not the answer either. The "degrees" of their violence they wreak upon us humans. I am SICK of people comparing viruses. Yes, we all know some are worse than others. However, just because herpes can't kill you doesn't mean we should infect every single human and child with it, seeing as it is less destructive than RSV. And I tell you what.....the baby which had neonatal herpes suffered greatly, I would dare say, even more than my son when he had RSV. AND there is a good chance he will lose sight in one of his eyes. We are not even comparing apples to apples here. Be realistic. This is just too upsetting here....Believe me, I HAVE done much soul searching in regards to this virus. Both my status with it and the world at large. And I still say NOBODY should have this. I wish it upon NOBODY. I will continue to do my part in educating people about prevention.

so you are a bio chemist? You know ALL about pathogens and viruses and parasites, etc., ad nauseum? Then DO something .....use all your vast, scientific knowledge you claim to have and DO SOMETHING....rather than just talk about infecting the world as a whole with this horrid disease. If I were smart enough to be a biochem.....this is all I would be doing;finding vaccines for the worlds ailments, as well as cures for others. Unfortunately, my talents are not in science. I can grasp basic concepts, but I am not a science gal. My talents lie in helping others, empowering people. So that is what I try to do. You should use all your "talents" in helping find the vaccine that will end this epidemic. go get the funding to do the mediccal research, whatever.