Question:
Well, I guess I'm just totally confused and looking for more information. About three months ago I was tested for Herpes and all tests came out negative. This last week, I found a bump. I went back to the doctor and they are in the process of retesting me but the doc said that to her it did look like herpes. As a precautionary action, she gave me valtrex and let me just tell you..I already notice a big improvement in the symptoms.

My confusion is on many layers. One thing was the potentially false negative from the tests from before. The other is how I got it. I am a sexually active 33 year old and just mortified. I am actually having trouble holding it together as I type. I talked to the guy I have been seeing off and on (we are not in a committed relationship but are friends with potential for a more serious relationship) and he has no symptoms. He went to get a blood test and his doc told him that even if it comes out positive it doesn't mean that he has it so the test is meaningless. What the hell? I could have had a false negative and he could have a false positive? How can you trust any of the test results if you aren't having an outbreak? And he is concerned about what to do about dating if it comes out positive. Is he obligated to tell future dates even if he has never had an outbreak? If you ask his doc he's not.

And as for me, I am still in shock. I go from feeling like no one could possibly love me now, to feeling that if someone is the right one they will stick around. I'm trying to have a positive attitude but it is very hard and I find myself more depressed than feeling positive.

Just needed to vent. I hope there are some people out there who are willing to respond.

I feel so helpless.

Answer:
Well I know that I went for my test when I had no symptoms and the test came out positive, but I had symptoms before, which is why I went. The person I'm with right now actually thought he had it, went and was tested and he came out negative, even though he said he had symptoms. This confuses me, since he said that he pretty much had a breakout.

As for if your partner would need to tell future dates if he has it but has no symptoms, it all depends. If he's just going out on a date, and there wouldn't be any sex involved, I don't see why he'd need to say anything right away. However, if he would have the virus and would have sex with someone even if he wasn't having symptoms, he could still pass the virus on. So in that case, even if he isn't having symptoms he could still pass it on, so I'd say that if he was going to be intimate with his date he should tell her that he tested positive for it and let her decide whether or not she wanted to risk possibly contracting it.