Question:
Unfortunately, I was just diagnosed with genital herpes today. I've pretty much been crying ever since. I was in a commited relationship for six years (since I was 18) and just broke up with my boyfriend six months ago. I've slept with only a few people and somehow managed to contract not one but TWO STDs. I had chlaymidia a few months ago. I read somewhere that 1 in 5 American adults have Herpes? What are you experiences? Dating after being in such a long-term relationship has already been difficult, how do people with herpes even attempt to date? The word still gives me shivers. Do you go about your normal dating routine, and just bring it up after a certain number of dates? What have people's reactions been? Please help!!!!

Answer:
Hi Lauryn

Yes it's supposed to be 1 in 4 women have it and 1 in 5 men. It doesn't feel like that could possibly be true because no-one talks about it.

There's been loads of posts on this site which have talked about forming good relationships with new partners (who are not infected) so yes there's diefinitely hope!

Best wishes

Answer:
The 1 in 4 figure refers to the number of people who carry the virus, but a large majority of them/us are totally asymptomatic. I think the figures for "people who have HSV and experience genital outbreaks" is much lower, anything from 1 in 10 to 1 in 20 depending on your country).

I live in Europe and here they don't test for carrying the virus at all. The reasoning seems to be that if you have no symptoms, you're better off not knowing, since you'll only be shedding the virus asymptomatically a few days a year (and we all know that after the first couple of years of a relationship, we don't have sex very often anyway ;) )

I have to say, judging by some of the posts I've seen here over the months, the Europeans may be right. But then again...