Question:
Ok - here goes. I was diagnosed 4 days ago as having genital herpes...and I'm just feeling so confused at the moment.

To cut a very long story short...I'm usually an extremly careful person when it comes to safe sex. But I was back where I originally grew up over Christmas and met up with an ex. One thing led to the other and we ended up in bed. We didn't have penetrative sex but basically everything up to that point and there was some genital-genital contact (sounds so clinical!!!).

2 days later sever burning and itching started but I'll be honest and say I thought it wasn't anything major. Then 2 days later noticed why I was so sore...and I had some blisters. At the same time I felt a truck had hit me but I just put it down to the fact I'd been partying loads over the Christmas period.

So went to the doctor where I live (non-native english country...adds to the mess). And he diagnosed it visually (including the swollen lymph nodes) and gave me an anti-viral perscription to reduce the outbreak.

So then it was time to tell the guy I was with over Christmas. He took it well but swore he'd had no symptoms ever of it. At the time he had a v. small cut on his penis and mentioned he got some small cuts every now and then especially after rough sex/masturbation (now I'm wondering was he just having mild outbreaks and not realising???). He's going for tests but I "fear" (that's the best word I can think of) that he comes back negative for this and then I really have no idea where this may all come from.

But here's the really annoying thing of the whole lot.

Next week I start a 3 month world tour that I've been planning for a year! I guess I'm just a bit worried about the symptoms of this initial outbreak continuing (first day of trip is essentially a 24 hour flight) and the fact that I haven't got my head around it or know what I should do to help my body with this and add to it journeying to new strange countries...just not sure how to deal with everything.

Anyway - thanks for letting me get this off my chest as such. I've read a few of the other posts and I believe that people do find the light at the end of the tunnel and manage to have realtionships and lead great lives...but I'm just not sure how to get there yet...so many emotions are going through me during any moment of time at the moment I'm just not sure how to really start dealing with it.

Answer:
Hi

He got 'small cuts' from masturbating, what was he using a razor blade. It never fails to amaze me how men (sounds sexist but I think it normally is men) who ignore signs which are clearly not normal.

Anyway, I think you need to get medical advice about the medication side of things ie so maybe you can take enough with you to cover the 3 months. I only get mild outbreaks, although they are frequent, I was advised to take meds but refused. I think my body should be able to deal with this through good food, exercise etc. If you're away, you may not have access to a healthy diet so meds may be very helpful for you.

Normally it's only the initial outbreak that's associated with the flu-like symptoms, so the next time you get an outbreak you may not feel anything like as ill. And of course you many never get another OB, or not have one till the summer - you just don't know.

As for how to deal with it. Well one of the best peices of advice I've had about this virus, is to live your life as if you don't have it. (Obviously that doesn't mean not telling potential partners that you have it!). It doesn't mean we should all become deluded! It means, go on your 3 month trip around the world - HOW FANTASTIC IS THAT!!!, and enjoy it to the full. Virus or no virus. What does it really stop us from doing - not a lot. What stops us is what goes on in our minds. Go have the time of your life.....................