Question:
Hey guys I'm Emily *waves*

So I'm stuck in a bit of a rut with no one to talk to so I shall share my fairly unusual (I think) experience of catching this damned thing.

Background information: I guess in most people's eyes I'm still a virgin; it's down to personal opinion. I'm a lesbian and have only been in one sexual relationship. My first, and only lesbian relationship as of yet with a girl I am still with now (we've been together about 7 months).

She's slept with guys before but is not sexually promiscuous. Early on in the relationship she told me she had an outbreak of genital warts, but they'd gone by the time we had sex and I thought nothing of it. Of course there was a risk, but with lesbian sex the risk is so incredibly low and the warts could be treated anyway.

About a month ago though, I noticed an itching (blah blah you know the story) and as soon as I saw the sores I made a doctors appointment right away. The day after, feeling a little uncomfortable but not too bad I went to France on a college trip. Bad idea. I was in agony for the whole time, absolutely no one to talk to about and it's the most down I have ever felt in my life. I felt disgusting, in pain and generally pissed off.

I mean think about it- how many 17 year old virgin lesbian catch herpes?

My girlfriend has never had any symptoms and never knew she carried it. She hasn't been tested yet, since as far as our relationship goes it won't make a difference whether she has it or not.

All my friends are still at the stage where STIs are hysterically funny *rolls eyes* and I think that's what gets me down a lot. Herpes is the most un-funny thing to happen to anyone. If I told them they'd be disgusted and I know they would be immature about it. Which sucks, but we deal.

I'm glad me and my girlfriend can talk about it but there's still stuff that grates on me and upsets me. I could get outbreaks for the rest of my life, it's going to affect every relationship I get in, and I basically feel disgusting when I think about it.

So that's my story. Life goes on I guess. I think if you're in an honest relationship then you'll be happier, if your partner cares about you they'll be mature enough to deal with it. The risk is low when not having an outbreak anyway. People are worse off than me but hey I still feel pretty unlucky. Pfft life's a bitch and all that jazz.

Answer:
If this is true and you may have herpes that is a total bummer. I'd recommend that both of you go and get tested for std's and ask for the herpes specific testing. It isn't included in the standard std tests and my doctor made me ask for it.

You didn't say if she was diagnosed with genital warts and then treated by a doctor and since I'm un educated about the warts I don't know how it is diagnosed and treated. I'd hate to think that she thought it was warts and it was really herpes. Herpes for me is very painful. :confused:

If you are reading our posts on this site you will have learned that both hsv1 and 2 can be passed to a partner by oral sex and by vaginal sex. Even though you are a virgin you said your partner has been with guys and she could have contracted something that you could get from skin to skin contact.

Answer:
Oh yes I know it can be contracted through oral sex, lesbian sex carries the least risk though- which is why it's unlucky :p

Yes I was tested by my doctor when I made an appointment. Results were negative but he's sure it's herpes. I went to the GUM clinic as well and got tested for it again as well as a blood test for other STIs (all came back negative) and last week I had another blood test at the doctors to see if it's in my blood (first test was a swab).

She definitely had warts as warts don't go away unless they are treated with like a freeze spray or medication. Herpes just goes away.

I'm pretty sure she has it but at the moment she doesn't the point in getting tested. Our relationship wouldn't change based on the results. She probably will if we break up. I think she should but I think she can't be bothered.

Answer:
I'm glad you've seen the dr and had testing.

I'm old enough to be your mom and I want you to know that I'm proud of you taking the initiative to find out the facts and to be responsible. It is incredibly hard at 17 to face this and you are right about friends your age being a little uncomfortable with the discussion and joking about it.

I encourage you to keep asking questions and to be proactive about your own health. Unfortunately you may be rare in your peer group and can't always trust that other young partners have done the research you have or may be too frightened to get tests etc. Even if there is a low rate of std infection in lesbians there will be the one or two who have had heterosexual relationships and that will impact the infection rate and you can't be too careful - but you know this.

Answer:
My mum has been really good about it, but I've had to make all the appointments and the tests by myself (thank god I passed my driving test not long ago). As soon as I saw the sores I was determined to get it sorted out. Scared the living shite out of me. I think being tested and everything at my age will definitely set me up for getting regularly tested and not to be worried about health issues in the future.

I've just wanted to know as much as possible about it- for me, my partner and future partners. Yeah it was a damned male who started this problem in the first place! Oh well no point in placing blame.

I just don't trust any of my friends at the moment. I love them, but they're too immature to deal with it. They think it's funny and they think it's gross, so not much I can do. And I'm the only one not to have had penetrative sex in all of us. Deary me. Well one day they may found out it's not actually that funny.

Answer:
You are being smart and mature and you should be proud of yourself. I look back to 17 and I remember how naive we all were. We really did a lot of harm to each other with our ignorance and opinions.

I'm glad your mom is there for you. When I was growing up my mom would have died if she knew anything about my sex life. I still don't share with her. She just isn't open minded or accepting.

Your friends are probably covering their own true feelings with the laughter. Maturity helps us to ask the right questions and to be responsible. I told my son when he was 15 or so that if he couldn't ask the right questions about sex and protect himself that he wasn't ready for it. I was probably the only mom that asked him before his first prom if he needed condoms. He was pretty embarrased. I wasn't encouraging him but I knew if I didn't bring it up I could be missing the opportunity to help him make the right choices. He's 25 now and he is very considerate of his partners.

You may find that your friends will come to you for answers in the future because they'll know that you were brave enough to tackle those tough questions with a medical professional. Keep up the good work and protect yourself.

Answer:
Oh yes I know it can be contracted through oral sex, lesbian sex carries the least risk though- which is why it's unlucky :p

Yes I was tested by my doctor when I made an appointment. Results were negative but he's sure it's herpes. I went to the GUM clinic as well and got tested for it again as well as a blood test for other STIs (all came back negative) and last week I had another blood test at the doctors to see if it's in my blood (first test was a swab).

She definitely had warts as warts don't go away unless they are treated with like a freeze spray or medication. Herpes just goes away.

I'm pretty sure she has it but at the moment she doesn't the point in getting tested. Our relationship wouldn't change based on the results. She probably will if we break up. I think she should but I think she can't be bothered. Hello,
I am a bisexual female who contracted HSV2 and what I think was also HPV at the same time via rape. The "warts" that I had looked like a carpet of cauliflower just on the inner labia and disappeared without treatment as fast as they appeared. That was 13 years ago. They have never returned. My point being that warts can disappear on their own.

"There are treatments for genital warts, though they often disappear even without treatment. There is no way to predict whether the warts will grow or disappear. Therefore, if you suspect you have genital warts, you should be examined and treated, if necessary." http://www.niaid.nih.gov/factsheets/stdhpv.htm

I have never transmitted an STI to a sexual partner including my last female lover, and while knowing I had HSV2 she preferred oral sex without protection. Again, she never contracted anything.

So I wouldn't assume you had herpes if all of the tests have been negative.

And I agree--you appear mature beyond your years and are right not to overestimate the maturity of your age group.

Answer:
The doctor at the surgery and the GUM clinic both said it was herpes just by looking at the sores (in fact 2 doctors at the surgery) but I'm yet to recieve the blood test results. It's definitely not warts, I told all doctors my partner had warts and they have agreed it's not

Tbh it's all a little bit weird. Everything suggests it's herpes but the results so far have come back negative. We'll se in a couple of weeks.

My only concern really is future relationships. Looking at some of the stories of here it can look kind of dismal, but I guess it shows someone's true maturity. I suppose my partner and I have both been really mature about it all, and our only concerns have been getting through the outbreak- the most painful experience of my life. Jesus.

In the end, it's a skin infection. End of. It's the connotations of the word that make it hard to deal with.

Answer:
The doctor at the surgery and the GUM clinic both said it was herpes just by looking at the sores (in fact 2 doctors at the surgery) but I'm yet to recieve the blood test results. It's definitely not warts, I told all doctors my partner had warts and they have agreed it's not

Tbh it's all a little bit weird. Everything suggests it's herpes but the results so far have come back negative. We'll se in a couple of weeks. If the infection is new, it takes a while for antibodies to show up. Another forum I frequent says a blood test three months after your initial outbreak is a good time to check for antibodies.

You know, the whole lesbians as "clean" thing is really a myth. I know lesbians with HIV, HSV, Heps B&C. As a (much older than you) lesbian, I can tell you honestly that I only know one lesbian who hasn't been with a man (or many men) at some point in her life, and as you've discovered, it's very possible to catch an STD from another woman.

I think you're very mature for your age and you are very much taking this diagnosis in stride. :cool:

Take care...