Question:
Hi,
I have just been informed by Planned Parenthood that I have Type 2 genital herpes...
I went to see them a week ago for a very sore red spot/open sore on the end of my penis. Initially they didn't think it was herpes, because I only had a single sore. They took a culture.

Obviously there's a huge amount of info. online... but it's not necessarily clear or conclusive.

Obviously I don't want to infect anyone else.
After the outbreak heals and disappears, will I be able to enjoy receiving oral sex again (without having to wear a condom)?
And if so, how long after the outbreak disappears would I have to wait?

I've heard about shedding, but what are the odds of infecting a woman by her giving me oral sex? And (apart from wearing a condom) and washing with soap and water immediately beforehand, is there anything else I can do to keep the risk of infecting somone to the absolute minimum?
Thanks,
Richard

Answer:
You can transmit herpes to a partner, anywhere, any time, regardless of whether or not you have any symptoms AND regardless of whether or not you use a condom. You need to talk with your partners about your condition before engaging with them in any sort of sexual activity. There are some things you can do to REDUCE the risk of transmission, such as suppressive therapy (for example, once-a-day Valtrax) but even those are not guaranteed. You have to be honest with ALL of your future partners. Explain to them your preventive methods, but let them decide for themselves if it is worth the risk.

Answer:
You can transmit herpes to a partner, anywhere, any time, regardless of whether or not you have any symptoms AND regardless of whether or not you use a condom. You need to talk with your partners about your condition before engaging with them in any sort of sexual activity. There are some things you can do to REDUCE the risk of transmission, such as suppressive therapy (for example, once-a-day Valtrax) but even those are not guaranteed. You have to be honest with ALL of your future partners. Explain to them your preventive methods, but let them decide for themselves if it is worth the risk. Thanks for the reply, but I didn't ask for advice on the moral issue of telling someone upfront - that's an entirely separate matter, and I intend to be responsible.
I don't appreciate the tone of your preaching!
I am asking if anyone has any informed knowledge with constructive, practical advice...
Thanks,
Richard

Answer:
Richardinla, I didn't think that Inshock was trying to make a moral judgement so much as saying that any unprotected sex puts your partner at risk for contracting the virus from you from now on basically because there is no way to know absolutely when the virus isn't shedding without symptoms.

Some people may not be as concerned as others so leaving it up to them to decide if they want to perform oral sex on you without a condom would be the upfront thing to do.

I have seen list members who have admitted that had they known their partner had hsv wouldn't have made a difference but being left in the dark made them feel lied to and that was a deal breaker.

You can make the risk less by taking suppressive drugs but I believe that there will always be the risk of transmitting this to someone else.