Question:
I'm a 19 year old homosexual male, and although I have not been formally diagnosed, I realized today that what I have could only be herpes. Like many of the people on these forums, I'm experiencing a lot of emotional distress and cannot help but feel depressed. I'm going to make an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow afternoon so that I can be 100% certain. Discovering I have herpes is bad enough. I don't think I've ever been this upset in my life - but it gets worse.
I have only ever been in two relationships, largely due to the fact that I have some serious issues regarding societies view of homosexuals, but that is another story. I have only had sexual relations with two people in the past 14 months. Two months (give or take) ago, I had casual sex with someone I met on a dating website. There was no penetration but plenty of skin to skin contact. A few weeks later, I was HORRIFIED to discover the bastard gave me pubic lice, AKA crabs. I felt so disgusting, and hated myself for doing something as irresponsible as meeting a stranger for casual sex. As of two weeks ago, I cured myself of the nasty little buggers, and decided I had learned my lesson.
Moving on....
I met the most amazing guy 3 weeks ago, and we've been seeing eachother ever since. We had unprotected sexual intercourse several times and so there is no chance in hell I didn't infect him with the herpes virus. I hadn't noticed any herpes symptoms whatsoever and was completely unaware I had been infected until today. The way that having the virus is making me feel right now does not even COMPARE to how I feel about having infected him. I wish I could turn back time. It is one thing for me to be punished for being promiscuous, but why him? It isn't fair. I don't even think I can look him in the eye. I realize that there is a chance my boyfriend infected me with this virus, and perhaps does not know he has it. But it seems MUCH more likely that the jackass who gave me crabs infected me with the virus. Two STD's from one person, wow - I hit the fucking jackpot. Once I get diagnosed I plan to meet up with the son of a bitch and tell him what's happening to me. If he is completely unaware/unsure about whether or not he has the virus, I hope he'll do me the favor of going and getting himself tested. I need to know for sure that I got it from him. Once that is over and done with, I have to tell me boyfriend, obviously. How do you tell someone you accidently infected them with an incurable sexually transmitted disease? It is not easily done. I'm so afraid of how he'll react... but have decided that if he wants to reject me for it, he isn't worth my time. Regardless I will be heartbroken. It's happened to me before and I'm not a fan! I'm so afraid of this virus... I've read a lot of really optimistic posts and they made me feel hopeful, but knowing that everyone has a different experience with the virus makes me want to crawl under my desk and die. Forgive me for being so negative, I don't know how else to deal with this. Why do bad things happen to good people? *sigh* I would appreciate feedback on my situation - opinions, tips, a god damn cure (I know, I know..)?!



Answer:
brandon go get tested so you don't beat yourself up wondering. you don't know absolutely that you infected your bf it is quite possible that you didn't. and seriously you must know that some sexual activity puts you at a higher risk just do to the biology of it so please please use condoms.

it's scary telling our partners but just do it. all you need to say is hey I've been diagnosed and see what happens from there but you need to get an authentic diagnosis first. like you suggested it could be from your guy and he doesn't know he has it.

get a type specific blood test unless you have lesions and can get them swabbed (that may take a week plus to culture)

good wishes to you - we all deserve happiness.

Answer:
i know what you mean about hitting the jackpot. i got herpes and hpv from the same guy. i remember freaking out, because the symptoms weren't the usual... i was all-out sick as a dog, throwing up, bleeding blisters, oozing sores, deep lesions, couldn't take a crap without feeling like i was on fire, couldn't take a shower or a bath because of the pain, couldn't sleep, had a fever so high i was wringing out my sheets the next morning. and, through all of this, was moving back home from living with relatives who had no business offering me a place when they weren't willing to care about me in the least.

the thing is, i wasn't dating the guy who gave me these diseases. he was a friend of my boyfriend's, and my boyfriend had left a party and gone home early, telling me to stay, and this guy ended up raping me. as soon as i knew i was sick, i wouldn't let my boyfriend touch me, but there were a few days in between where i did have sex with him, and wondered for ages afterwards if i gave it to him. but guess what? i didn't! almost three years later, and he still hasn't had any signs of it, even in his bloodwork. you don't need to feel guilty about this, hon! you didn't know you were carrying this, you didn't do it on purpose, you don't even know that the guy you're feeling guilty towards wasn't the carrier!!!

keep your head up, and keep us updated. i hope everything works out for you, no matter what the test results might say.

Answer:
That's terrible that you had such horrible symptoms, but I'm glad to hear your boyfriend was understanding of your situation. You have no idea how much I appreciate your kind words, it really helps. I was supposed to get checked last week but I happened to be extremely hungover that day, and couldn't bring myself to go. So I've gone an extra week worrying... But I am going this Thursday - I'm still experiencing very mild symptoms, but I'm staying hopeful that my assumptions are wrong. I'll be sure to post the results here!