Question:
Hi, I'm new to this support forum and have recently been diagnosed. I got herpes from my girlfriend, she knew she had it, we tried to be carefull but I still got it. She went with me to the doctor as soon as visable symptoms were present. She has been very supportive for me since we found out, I have been able to accept this life long disease and have made a decision to not let it get me down or change other aspects of my life becuase worse things could happen like the loss of vision or go deaf. I think a blind or deaf person would choose herpes over those disabilies Although it is depressing because I feel gross and dirty and I feel like an outcast.

The thing that bothers me the most and really gets me down is my girlfriend feels horrible about me getting it from her, she feels guilty and ashamed. We both did what we could to prevent this but it happened anyways.
She's cried about it a lot and keeps apologizing, I keep telling her it's ok, and it doesn't change anything between us, I tell her I love her just the same and I don't hate her and I don't blame her for anything. I remind her that we're still moving in together and building a life together.

She is still very down about this and the hardest part for me is not the disease but I don't know how to be emotionally supportive for her in this area. So any help from others that have faced this problem would be appreciated.

we took a trip to Vegas this past weekend so we could get out of our own heads for a bit, we lost a lot of money but had a good time, we drove there, so we had a long time to talk and laugh about stuff. Laughter is the best medicine, so I think it may have helped a bit.

Answer:
You sound like a really nice man, and i guess its the risk you take, when one of you have it, i think its great that you are without blame, i think that is fab , i do on the odd occasion give my husband a hard time when i am having a bad day.
As i was the one who caught it from my husband i can only tell you he was just the same, he cried like i have never seen him cry before, he took days off work to be with me and was so down as he wouldnt hurt me intentionally.
On those days that he was off, we talked like we had never talked before,it did bring us closer, we were there for one another,he said it was a watershed in our relationship,we talk so much more now about how we feel.
Keep talking,keep laughing, keep reassuring her and keep hugging!!!

You both will have bad days,just both be honest how you both feel.