Question:
My first marrage was 10 years with 3 beautiful children,which was rocky to say the least.After we devoriced I cotracted herpes,several relationships later I meet a woman and got married (yes I told her about my possable condition) It wasen't untill the medical world spoke up and proclaimed that
"70% of people with herpes got it when there partner had no sign of an outbreak" that pretty much runed our marriage,not only did she not wont safe sex but she wouldn't even kiss me any more,I know herpes is not a good thing to have,but she treeted me as though I had leprocy. I couldn't take the rejection so I left and filled for devorice.Was I wrong for doing this?
Now I feel as though my life is over,what woman in her rite mind would wont anything to do with a man who is tainted?I'm inches away from becomeing a recluse....someone through me a rope I can only tread water so long.

Answer:
dear alone-in-tulsa,

you are not alone; you have each and every one of here on this web site. my theory on your current marriage; she does not love you. remember the wedding vows you took, till death do us part, through sickness and health, etc.

i am newly diagnosed and still have moments of sadness, despair, anger, etc. that along with still not feeling "normal" since my first ob, some days just plain suck.

i do continue to remain as positive as possible, take vitamins and herbs to keep me healthy and i know, some day, i will be with somebody who will love me for who i am, including this virus. the same will happen for you. your life is not over, it is just different for now.

find yourself, stay healthy, hang out here; this site will make you feel much better. there are also other sites for dating others with herpes; check out yoshi2me, positivesingles.com, h-ype.com

Answer:
I have come to believe that some relationships have an experation date.
It seems to me if your ex-wife knew you had hsv and was intimate with you before the medical world made their statement, then likely there were other factors that lead to the demise of your relationship.

I think hsv really tests how we feel about ourselves. I hope you can take time to surround yourself with loving friends and family. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Believing we are worthy of love comes across to others in a possitive way...Believing we are tainted would also come across to others, but in a negative way.

I don't think any of us here are tainted. We have a virus, It doesn't define who we are. I think it would be harder to live in a relationship where someone treated me like I was a leper, Then to be on my own and feel good about myself.

There are a lot of people in the world who have hsv And a happy relationship!

Be good to yourself, and hang around people that make you feel good about yourself.

Answer:
What Shayna said is 100% true. There must be another reason that your marriage didn't last if the two of you were ok up till one other awakening fact that if she was so concerned she would have educated herself from the moment you told her you had the virus.
Move on with your life, and find someone who wants you for you, and all you have inside and out.
It's not as bad as it seems....Pe@ce!

Answer:
My first marrage was 10 years with 3 beautiful children,which was rocky to say the least.After we devoriced I cotracted herpes,several relationships later I meet a woman and got married (yes I told her about my possable condition) It wasen't untill the medical world spoke up and proclaimed that
"70% of people with herpes got it when there partner had no sign of an outbreak" that pretty much runed our marriage,not only did she not wont safe sex but she wouldn't even kiss me any more,I know herpes is not a good thing to have,but she treeted me as though I had leprocy. I couldn't take the rejection so I left and filled for devorice.Was I wrong for doing this?
Now I feel as though my life is over,what woman in her rite mind would wont anything to do with a man who is tainted?I'm inches away from becomeing a recluse....someone through me a rope I can only tread water so long. Sorry your marriage had to end that way, sounds like your ex wasn't committed to you longterm, so it sounds like you're better off.

Answer:
I do wish to thank you all for the incouragement,it means a lot.
I did fail to mention one thing about my X....she's a regestered nurse,I guess that why it hurt so much.There was no heart felt encouragement to seek any medical help to get properly diagnosed.I'm glad I didn't have a termnal illness she wouldn't have been much help.Again thank you all.

Answer:
Dear alone in tulsa
I am a registered nurse and I have herpes. Being in the medical profession she should have realize that herpes is not a big deal if she did her research. I think she just did not love you. I did freak out at first but not because of the virus it is because of the thought that no one would want me again due to the stigma. I am trying to get past that. I talked to a good friend of mine who is a doctor and he put things it perspective for me when he told me his wife had it too and he did not but he know what it was insignificant and they just had a baby. Ps she is also a doctor. So there medical professional should know better!

Answer:
Dear alone in tulsa
I am a registered nurse and I have herpes. Being in the medical profession she should have realize that herpes is not a big deal if she did her research. I think she just did not love you. I did freak out at first but not because of the virus it is because of the thought that no one would want me again due to the stigma. I am trying to get past that. I talked to a good friend of mine who is a doctor and he put things it perspective for me when he told me his wife had it too and he did not but he know what it was insignificant and they just had a baby. Ps she is also a doctor. So there medical professional should know better! I hate to admit it but I believe your correct,I treated her beter than I treat myself....and I think she fell in love with my actions not me.Sometimes I hate being a nice guy!

Answer:
It is hard to handle any kind of rejection but being rejected for something you cannot change is probably the hardest. She probably did love you I mean she married you right however to leave over a little thing such as herpes tells me she didn't care enough about you and that is sad. Maybe someday she will see the light and the fact that she lost a good man. Btw I like the fact that there are still nice guys out there so don't ever hate that role as a nice guy!