Question:
I mentioned most of this is my saying hello thread and will do a bit of pasting from there, but would really appreciate all the facts and wisdom that I can get. Frankly I don't know if I should be biting my nails in real worry or am just really over-reacting. It just isn't something that I have ever had to think much about before and the information on my particular situation seems all over the place. So here goes.

I thought it best to clarify right from the start that I am clueless and the more information that I have tried to get on the internet has made me more so. I feel almost silly since there are so many amazing people dealing so well with difficult issues on here and I'm not even certain that I have much of an issue at all and I feel even more silly being so worried about it as much as I am in light of all that.

My paranoid concern is that I was recently home and shared lipstick and a cigarette with my ex-sister- in law that had a cold sore at the time. A few days later, my mother told me that she had been having an affair with someone with Herpes type 2, and frankly I'm freaking out a little bit. I've been in a monogamous relationship for almost 19 years and have never in my life had so much as a cold sore. The information seems so scattered that I can find. It seems from my confused reading that you can get HSV2, even though it is the genital form, but that can manifest in a cold sore in terms of passing it on and can be passed on in a shared lipstick etc, but there seems to be a lot of scattered and confusing information about that. Which unfortunately leaves me pretty scattered and confused as well. What are the facts? Should I be seriously concerned or even a little concerned even? It is very confusing to me and I certainly don't want to be a paranoid nut about it, but I can't help but be worried. Just as an FYI too, my Ex sister in law would never possibly take a test to find out if she was infected. She doesn't deal with health issues that way. Never has and never will unfortunately. Again, I would appreciate any information and assistance that you could give me on this.

Answer:
I saw your other post and here is my advice.

Calm down, breathe a little bit and relax. At this point you have a big "What If". There is no definite infection that you know of - but you are aware of a risk in your environment. Honestly we deal with this stuff all the time we just don't get our attention drawn to it so we can sail through with nary a care.

The ratio for initial out breaks is usually 2 to 28 days after exposure for most people. If you get a coldsore you have contracted hsv. If you get to day 28 and you haven't developed a coldsore you go to action plan 2.

Action plan 2 has you waiting until 12 to 16 weeks post exposure where you go to your primary care physician and let him/her know that you believe you have been exposed to herpes and you want a herpes specific blood test. If they can perform the Western Blot blood test this would be the best to get a reliable result.

I'm telling you to wait because it takes a while for antibodies to be created and there is no reason to send you running after multiple tests without sufficient reason to suspect you definitely have it.

If the person you shared the lipstick with had a huge, gaping, oozing coldsore and it ruptured right as she used her lipstick I'm afraid you likely were exposed. If it was healing and on it's way out and she hadn't used the lipstick throughout the ob you may be lucky and not have contracted it.

I sincerely hope you haven't contracted this virus.

In the future never ever share someone's personal toiletries. If you are a mom instruct your kids not to use other peoples toiletries. If you know kids or adults who aren't aware of this please inform them of the risks and help to share the knowledge of preventing transmission of hsv.

Answer:
Thanks. I'm definitely trying to breathe. I talked to my doctor's office on the phone today and they said my chances were really slim and that I really shouldn't worry unless I have an outbreak, but that I could come in for a test when the time comes to make sure if it makes me feel better. She seemed to think that I was freaking from something that was a chance from 1 to zero of even having occurred and that it wasn't genital herpes regardless. She also told me that you can't catch genital type herpes from a cold sore. I did realize that they were different types, but my reading had led me to believe that if you had the genital type, it could be possibly be passed on through a cold sore. Though everything seems to be a little vague when you are trying to find info about a possible genital exposure without genital contact of some sort which seems to be what most of the information available assumes has happened. My understanding is that the the cold sore was definitely in the healing stage as she and her current boyfriend, not the one that exposed her to genital herpes, seemed to be trying to decide if one of them had given it to the other and hers was further along in healing. An entire other can of worms for the two of them that I am really trying not to think about at all. From what my mother has said, my ex sister in law had some discussion with the health department and because of the time that went by with no flare-ups seems confident that nothing is wrong. Something else from my reading that makes me wonder for her sanity, but I also know that she will absolutely refuse to get a test. She is the definitely the stick her head in the sand and hope that it never comes up type of person, no matter if it hurts herself or others.

So right now, I'm holding tight to the idea that you can't get genital herpes from exposure to a cold sore, hopefully, and that I pray to have no flareups of any kind, and that I am being paranoid and freaking a bit with very little reason. God I hope so anyway. I have a feeling that it is going to float around in my mind and give me enough sleepless nights so that I'll still get the blood test after three months even if I don't have an outbreak. A really looong time to have to wait and think about it though as I know everyone on here is very aware of from experience

Thanks so much for the information and advice. I really know very very little about this subject, and frankly my internet reading was scaring me.

Answer:
ok, you still seem a little confused.

To clarify: Yes, you can get genital herpes from coldsores....this happens if a person who gets coldsores gives you oral sex and is shedding the virus without a cold sore present or when a coldsore is present.

You can't get genital herpes if your genitals dont come in contact with an infected persons contagious region.


Also, to make clear that type 1 isnt just "oral herpes" and type 2 isnt just "genital herpes". Either type can appear in either region depending on how it was contracted. You can get oral herpes from a persons genital infection(of either type) and just the same a person can get genital herpes(of either type) from people with oral herpes....it works both ways with both types.

So, you could get oral herpes from this person as a result of the situation you described but you could not get genital herpes from this incident. It just seems you dont understand that she could have either virus orally (type 1 or 2) but if contracted you would still only have "oral herpes" of either type 1 or type 2, but it would still only be classified as an oral infection. You would only be contagious when people had contact with your mouth. If it is type 1 oral or type 2 oral it doesnt matter, its still contagious and can infect either region. Hope this clarifies a little more.

Answer:
Yes thank you. This clarifies this very much more for me. Very much more. I do have a couple of big questions as a result. I am still a little confused as to passing along oral herpes. It sounds like if I was exposed and have an ob/cold sore-oral herpes- that I would possibly be able to pass this along to my husband as genital herpes during oral sex, especially during the time of an outbreak. Something I would never even attempt if I did have a cold sore just for clarification. My understanding, if correct, is that all cold sores are a type of oral herpes resulting from an exposure somewhere along the line perhaps even dating back to when you were a child and are fairly common, and that it would be not be good at all to have oral sex if you have a cold sore or outbreak.

However, if I do not get or have an outbreak, nor get a cold sore, is it still possible to pass this along to my husband during oral sex if I was exposed? Assuming that I was exposed at all and that you can be exposed and still never get a cold sore or oral outbreak, which I am not clear on completely? As far as I am aware, I have never had a cold sore in my life so far. And if I was exposed and do develop a cold sore signifying that I did have an exposure, would there only be a danger of exposing him if I was having an outbreak at the time? I am not clear about the concept of shedding unfortunately.

I realize that I am almost pathetically uninformed, but I suppose my big question is that if I do not experience any signs of oral herpes or have an outbreak or cold sore, is my partner safe with me during oral sex even if I was exposed and for some reason have no oral outbreak symptoms, if that is even possible or probable for that to happen? If I do not have any sort of oral herpes outbreak at all, is oral sex safe?

I see that I am rambling a bit so I'll try to break it down.
1-Can you have been exposed and have oral herpes and never experience any outbreaks or cold sores?
2-If you can, is it safe to have oral sex with a partner as long as there is no outbreak occurring at the time? Or if there has never been one for that matter? Can it be passed on when there is no outbreak occurring?
3-Please provide any helpful info that you think that I obviously need.

I do really appreciate all the assistance and time you have taken to helping me understand this matter. I know that there are those that are very frightened and confused with greater reasons than I on this board, but I am trying my best to become informed for both my own peace of mind and to protect those that I love and keep them as safe as possible. Thanks again so much for the assistance.