Question:
I've had oral herpes for as long as I could remember. My dad has it and passed it on to both me and my brother when we were all small and immune comprimized. He was just being a dad and kissing his little kids...

Well, somehow or another despite having it my whole life I'm only now really dealing with it. About a year ago I learned (yes, sex ed really IS so bad as to totally not mention it...) that I could pass it on to others. Up until then I'd assumed (stupidly) that it was genetic or something; thus explaining why my father, brother and I have it, but my mother has never had an outbreak.

I was relieved to find that the girl I'd been with for over a year (the relationship had already ended by this time) had not contracted it from me; especially considdering that she already had a multitude of other health problems and really didn't need any more. A girl I had just started seeing completely freaked out at me though... understandably though. She was 19 and I had been her first kiss, and I might have given her an std? Luckily she too was clean. As far as I know I haven't passed it on to anyone; but it's hard to be sure because I kissed more than a few girls, and a boy or two, in middleschool and highschool. and I'm not exactly in touch with them all. I feel very guilty about having been so careless; though at the same time I recognise that I was totally clueless.

The thing that's bugging me most now is that the behavior that would be responsible considdering I've got the virus and my natural personallity clash something fierce. Monogamy and I don't work. Believe me, I've tried. On top of that, I'm a total flirt. I am, however, very honest and upfront about these aspects of myself... I just need to learn to be upfront about this little infection of mine too.... Maybe what I need to do is allow myself to flirt and court girls ect, but avoid kissing unless the relationship becomes more serious and we very seriously discuss the risks.

Answer:
Yes tell girls before you kiss them. My husband never told me he had oral herpes and that is how I got genital herpes. It can be passed from oral to genital by the way! So yes always be upfront!

Answer:
It should be quite simple during the introduction process to bring up coldsores and since it is quite common you may find that many of your potential conquests have it already or you can help them to understand that it is a communicable disease and help stop the accidental transmission in your social circle.

Of course I am thinking that you meet a cute girl and you flirt and play hard to get (by not kissing them right off) and bring it up in passing. You can always say "hey did you see (so and so) they had a coldsore, what do you think of that?" and take it from there.

Answer:
yeah... there's a girl I've been flirting with recently and so I'll certainly bring it up on friday when I see her. (Shouldn't be hard, I frigging have an ob right now... second one in recent history, and they aren't sticking to the usual spot. Stupid stress... stupid too many mochas... grrr.)

Answer:
sweetie it's more as likely the sunshine than the mochas unless you live somewhere the sun doesn't shine in June. Abreva is pretty good for coldsores. I found that it stops the pain quickly.