Question:
Hello there everyone, I'm new to the site and I just lost my virginity to my boyfriend about 9 months ago. He was my first and my only, we are no longer together. I made a stupid mistake by having sex with him, 1. because he turned out to be a complete jerk. and 2. We never used a condom because I trusted him and wasn't even thinking about the possiblities of STDs only pregnancies, and I figured with myself being on brith control I could not get pregnant and that was our only worry. We started dating in April of '06 till March '07 . During this time he cheated on me with a very gross girl in November...(the 25th to be exact as I now know.) We spent XMAS and New Years eve together...everything and I found out he was cheating. As you could tell this was devasting to me! In Late December I had a small cut in my genital area which burned when I urinated so I went to the OB-GYN. I went there thinking it was only a cut and I needed antiseptic. Not the case. The first words out of her mouth were well, this could be herepes. I thought i was going to die, I never even began to THINK it could be linked to a STD. Well anyways she tested me and said she would call back within a week and if not that I am negative (if she calls..i have a problem, if she didnt I was fine) well she didnt call. Therefore i thought I was fine. And yet I continuned to have un protected sex with my BF thinking well if it isnt herpes then he must be fine so why not keep doing this without a condom. Although I was still paranoid and nervous....and one day i saw all these bumps all of his penis shaft.i turned on the lights and asked him what the heck that was...he said it was from shavingggg??? like razor burn...and i kept questioning him..like uhmm no that looks like herpes.. etc...etc...he got really mad at me so in order for him to be happy with me again i turned to having sex with him. BAD idea i dont know why i did it because there was bumps all over but i did. and now i believe i have herpes. we havent been together for about 5 months since i found out he was cheating in february...and in may i had this 1 bump that looks like almost a cyst on the top part of my vagina...i kept touching it wodering what it was and then all of a sudden it popped and a water-like fluid came pouring out. is this a sympton of herpes! please help i wam very worried !!!! im going to gyno monday but i am still terrified and a part of me doesnt want to find out the result..i feel as if i would just kill myself if i found out i had this diesease!

Answer:
hi Calie...

I am really sorry you have had to deal with such an ass for a boyfriend. And I hope you don't have herpes, but to be honest it sounds like you do. Definitely get into your doctor or health clinic asap, while the sore is new and present to get tested. Also ask you doctor about blood testing for herpes as well.

Consider yourself lucky to be rid of this asswipe from your life. You will be much better off without him. But I also want you to do some real serious soul searching. I am more concerned with a few things like 1) you would not use condoms for protection, and think you are "safe" from contracting STDS. I can only chalk it up to a naivete. But as you are now aware, NOBODY is exempt from STDS.

2) that when you questioned the "ass" about the sores on his dick, rather than leave him be until he got tested, you caved into his little temper tantrum and had sex with him against your better judgement. Again, this could be youth and naivete and a touch of insecurity at play here.

He could have been cheating on you with "gross" girls or good girls or virgin girls (like yourself) and all other types of girls. Who knows?!?! But it is HIS high risk behavior that has now put YOU at risk. Forget about those other girls, HE is the cad who cheated and lied to you. Focus any anger you have on him and not on the alleged "gross" girl.

I say all this not to be mean, but to give you a good eye opener. I am hoping all turns out well for you and you are std-free. And you can then chalk up this scare as a major eye opener. Love yourself and your body and don't ever question your instinct. I want for you to be a strong woman in the future and to protect yourself as well.

If it turns out you do have herpes, know that you are not alone. It is a lifelong virus that sucks a big rotten egg, however it does not define who you are. There are ways to work around and with it.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Please keep us posted and I hope things turn out for the best.

Ouch

Answer:
The biggest reason for a SUPPORT GROUP is so you realize your not alone. take a look at this forum all these people either have herpes or have had a fear that they may have contracted it. You not alone, so you don't need to feel like you might just kill your self. you are going to be okay. there are medicines to suppress the virus and your own immune system will work on that as well. just keep your head up and be strong, get yourself tested and be very careful in the future.

Answer:
Thanks so much guys! I will be so much more careful from now on, I was just so naive to it all I wasnt even thinking about getting an STD ever...and now...I do believe I have one...or actually BOTH! Now I have blisters all over my upperlip. At first they looked like little pimples and I started popping them. But now more have appeared and i feel a tingling sensation..like throbing and puss is coming out that is clear yellowish color. I am so afriad and i told my mom and im going to my pediatrician today! I feel like my life is over....i have always been depressed and i'm already taking medicine for depression and now this, I cant take all of this. i just want to kill myself!!! my face looks disgusting with all of these sores on my mouth! i dont ever want to walk out of my house ever again!

Answer:
Calie1323, don't feel that way, its just an out break it will go away and you will get batter at suppressing them. this anology may not work for everyone, but think of it as a broken arm or mayabe better yet, a busted knee. it will heal but you will have to be careful not to re injure it. the out break is here now but it will heal and it probably won't be back this ba ever again. and if it uis you will know how to deal with it. how old are you? you mentioned pediatrician so you must be pretty young. when your young and your body is going through changes your outbreaks can be pretty bad, but you will see as you get older and your immune system gets strong again your OB's will be less severe and they will happen less often. cheer up, life goes on and you still have your whole life ahead of you!