Question:
I've been married to the same woman for 16 years.
Recently she went to the Dr because of some problems in the vaginal area. The Dr did some tests and diagnosed her with Herpes. Several days after the Dr gave her the news she told me. I was so pissed that I almost got up, packed and left. She swears she has never cheated. Obviously, I know that I have been faithful for 16 years plus two years prior.
I'm still mad. At this point I don't know whether to believe her or not. I don't see how it can take nearly 20 years for her to show any signs of being infected. And, to beat it all she had the gall to throw out I probably gave it to her and I had been infected by an old girlfriend whom she dislikes.
WTF?
I've looked at the pics on the site and have never had anything like that anywhere on my body.
Don't you have blood tests prior to marriage? Wouldn't this have shown up on the blood test if either of us were infected.

I'm still pissed and don't know what to do or what to believe. I just don't see how this infection was pre marriage.

Someone help. I don't want smoke blown up my ass. Just give it to me straight.

Answer:
I had this for 10 years without an ob. I had no idea I had hsv. It is very possible for a person to have it and it be latent with no obvious symptoms that make us think "Oh wow I have herpes."

Did the dr say whether your wife had hsv1 or hsv2 and did she have an ob? A blood test would have a positive result if it is somewhere on the body but won't say where it is.

That said. Have you ever in your life had a coldsore or a fever blister? If you have then you have HERPES. Has your wife ever in her life had a coldsore or a fever blister?

Most people contract this while children and think nothing of it until they grow up start having sex and maybe perform oral sex on someone and pass it to that persons genitals and then it gets passed back to their genitals.

Sometimes the symptoms are so small no one even notices.

There is no reason to be spitting mad or to think someone cheated. It sucks to get accused when you're being honest and true.

Check out this link.


Answer:
Make sure you know everything about herpes before you destroy your marriage.

Assuming she has had herpes for 16 years, chances are you have been infected for some time now. The infection may have started with you even if you had no symptoms. You probably have never been tested for herpes, and most people who have herpes don't know they have it. Herpes requires a very specific blood test and the lab has to be looking for it - herpes doesn't just reveal itself during a routine blood test.

If I were you I would get blood testing now, asap, and then again in 4 months if the first test is negative. And have the wife get tested in the same manner. This could tell you how long you (and her) have been infected. If you both test negative, and then test positive in a few months, herpes was introduced recently which means one of you got it from someone outside the relationship. I am in no way implying that your wife cheated. To come to that conclusion, you need to know everything about this virus and how it works. A blood test can also reveal which type of herpes it is - type 1 or type 2.

Answer:
Read my posts: Susan101. I am a 39 year old housewife with four kids who has been in 3 monogomous relationships in 20 years (been with hubby for 8 years, was single and celebate for 2 years before that after my ex-husband left, and was monogomous with my ex-husband for 9 years prior. Add it up--comes to 19 plus years.

I have NEVER had any kind of knowing symptoms before, and suddenly got this one vaginal sore 2 1/2 weeks ago. I know I've been faithful, my hubby's been faithful, and the doc says it is actually NOT uncommon for this to sit being latent for that long.

Talk to your wife, go to counseling, most importantly...take the time to learn about this virus. I CAN happen this way....it has a mind of it's own. Your wife needs your support right now--she's scared, in pain, in shock, and feels like you might not want her anymore (I'm assuming). She needs your reassurance right now. If you need to find someone to talk to outside of this for YOUR feelings, then do that. But give your wife support, and the benefit of the doubt.

By the way, you CAN vent to us any time that you need. I respect your feelings, and fears of betrayal. Just wanted you to know from an objective real person that she really could be telling you the truth (and probably is).

Answer:
oh? i didn't know that herpes could take that logn to manifest and how do you know since how long you've had it?

Answer:
I certainly didn't know it could linger that long either. When my symptoms first appeared (PAIN, tender lump, fever, lymph nodes swollen, etc...), I was certain I had cancer! It didn't even occur to me that it could be an STD. I have absolutely NO idea when I got this (but it HAD to have been either latent from my hubby all this time, or from more than 20 years ago--I have NEVER had symptoms of any kind that I can definately ascertain were from herpes).

I think the only definitive way to know if you're a carrier is to have a blood test. I think every responsible person who is sexually active (apparently EVEN when you're in a monogomous relationship) should be tested for STD's--perhaps before you are intimate with a new partner (although I don't know how feasible that is). However, I doubt my doctors would have even considered ordering me a routine blood test for HSV without the symptoms present (at least in my circumstance) BECAUSE of my low-risk status in the sexual arena. I practically had to BEG him to give me an HIV test (after I found out I had HSV and discovered that it can increase your odds of contracting HIV, I thought it prudent to be tested for that--it was negative).

I'm NOT trying to scare anyone. Honestly, if my hubby turns out negative (we should get his results early next week--stay tuned!!), I plan to find a clinic somewhere for them to run tests on me so that they can try to explain to me how this happened. Who knows? I may be the first documented case of being infected by a tanning bed!

What the docs are telling me, is that it is NOT all that uncommon for it to be latent for so long--that in the "real" world it happens more than we realize. I could have had a mild strain (I did, according to doc, have a mild ob--one lesion that resolved in less than a week), that my body has been able to fight successfully all this time. I got really sick several months back, was run down, was tanning, on steroids for bronchitis-induced asthma, on antibiotics for my skin, etc....perhaps all the circumstances lined up for the "perfect storm" to cause an ob.

So, don't worry.....I'll keep everyone posted on my situation, because I do feel that it's somewhat outside of the "normal" range, and I want to do anything I can to help my "brothers and sisters" with herpes!! My only advice is to practice safer sex and get a blood test done if you're at all concerned.