2 months into having genital herpes
well...i figure ill start here...
ive always been that guy that is never sad, ... never sick... i use to have an unreal optimism on life. always had things go my way. whether it be, school,sports, money, girls, i could not have complained about a single thing in my life. then 2 months ago...it happened. it started as these horrible chills one night. i figure i have the flu or something. but am concerned because when i said i never get sick, i meant it. im 23 and have never taken an Advil or Tylenol or be hospitalized for any sickness. so while these flu like symptoms are hitting me, i get a blister, then a few more...i freak out and start researching... at this same time my sickness is so bad that i cant sleep at night due to a horrible back and muscle pain and constant chills every night for about 2 weeks, i am pretty sure i have it and don't know how i got it. i have a girlfriend of 6 months and dated someone a month before...i automatically assume i got it before her. because i view her as a sweet girl who told me she lost her virginity at 21. i go get tested. blood test comes back negative, and culture positive. i have her go get tested. her blood is positive. yet she claims to never to of never had a out break.
after my 8 or so relatively small blisters heal, i begin to feel better,i talk to her a lot and decide to believe her that she did not know she had it. through out this i realize that it easily could of been me giving hsv to her. i havent had many partners, only 4 before her. they were a 4 year relationship, two 6 month relationships, and a 3 month relationship before her. i think about my situation and realize my immune system is strong and i probably wont ever have one again, and since she has never had one, its not really a problem. especially because she is the most amazing girl i have ever met.
a couple days after my sores completely heal, we have unprotected sex...yes i know stupid...then the next day we have sex with a condom, during sex however i realize im having a pain and we stop. somehow i failed to realize i was already having another outbreak. i realize that my skin is inflamed in a larger area this time. by the next day there are 20 blisters forming, and by the next day 30 or so literally touching eachother covering a larger then inch by inch section of my penis. i freak out even worse then before, go in and get acyclovir. to make things worse, the next few days my girlfirend gets a outbreak. which she claims is her first outbreak ever. i fall into a depression like i have never before felt. im weak, and feel worthless and like im complete trash. i have no energy or drive to do anyhthing. literally lay in bed till my sores compeltly heal. i felt llike i would have thsee outbreaks every single 2 weeks. it totally effected my life. i could not hang out with friends, i could not sleep, i had nightmares when i did, i was scared to drink, i was scared to take my work out supplements with arginine. i check myself 25 times a day, and keep thinking im feeling tingling.
after taking the 10 day dose of acyclovir, i immediatly filled another prescription and am now on another 5 day treatment. im scared to stop taking it because i dont want another outbreak. i literally have felt depressed. which is so unlike me. i literally have never been mad a day in my life. i wrecked my car, had 10 grand in audio equipment stolen from me, lost 30 page final papers the day they are due. and nothoing has ever effected me. all my girlfirends onnly problem with me is that i never show enough emotion towards them because i never get mad or angry. and now...for the first time in my life, im stressed, depressed and worried. ive been in perfect shape my whole life, and my last two blood pressure tests showed i have slightly high blood pressure.
im a health nut and go to the gym and weigh myself every day. for the last month and a half. i haven't gone. i lost 5 pounds , which is a sig amount for me. it took me about 6 months to gain 5 pounds, working out 5 days a week on a structured diet.
so here i am now, into day 3 of my 5 day pills of acyclovir. its been about a week since my scabs fell off....and im finally regaining energy. ive been at the gym three days in a row...however im still unsure of how my days will i go. i carry 3 pills in my pocket every day. and have to sneak them into me without my family or friends noticing. i dont feel sexual in any way. my girlfriend is worried about me. her sores quickly healed unlike mine. and she wants to have sex. i seriously look at her differently and cant help but to think she lied to me and knew she had it. i want to believe her but for once in my life i cant be the trusting man i once was so easily...
i still wonder why i had two outbreaks within 3 weeks. i had the first which healed in about 2 weeks, and then right after it healed i got the second.
i also still wonder why she got her "first outbreak" at this time.
and im scared out of my mind that after i fiinish this prescription ill have another outbreak...
thats my story,...sorry its so long, but im trying everythign possible to try and pull myself out of this depression.
If she tested positive for herpes, then chances are she DID have it and gave it to you. ESPECIALLY since YOU didn't have the herpes virus in your bloodtest. If you HAD herpes from a previous relationship, it would have shown up right away in your blood test as well as the culture they took.
So, from where I am standing, sounds to me like she had it and gave it to YOU! Not visa versa.
It could be that she had it and never knew, although in my opinion, I think this is the rarity. I think many many people live in denial about their status. Thus use the old "well, I didn't know, I never had an outbreak". Whereas, there ARE people who just don't have outbreaks and DO NOT KNOW.
and it is absolutely possible for her to oneday, out of the blue have her first outbreak. Perhaps you having one triggered one in her for some reason. Perhaps her immune system is compromised right now by stress or something, thus, she had her "firsT" outbreak. The body is a weird thing my friend.
But yeah, if you are negative in the bloodtesting, then sometimes, one plus one really does equal two. She probably gave it to you.
Another thing....former VIRGINS get hsv (and other STDS) too. hell, there are guys and gals who after their FIRST sexual encounter contract an STD or worse yet, HIV. So while she may be a good girl....she may have been with someone who was not such a "good " boy and dishonest with her.
I am sorry your outbreak is so bad. Eat well, take some lysine, vitamin C to boost your immune system and bcomplex to help your central nervous system.
Keep taking your meds as well for the time being. Hopefully these outbreaks will subside. I would also say abstain from sex for a while until you see what happens with your outbreak. Kind of keep track of them as they are happning. Keep you genitals nice and clean. Oh....a little trick some of us ladies do as well as men....rather than towel dry "down there". Bust out your hair dryer, hold it away, and use THAT to dry off. Don't get it too close and hurt/burn yourself, but this is a GREAT way to dry off that area. Might help in the healing process
this is so sad for you!! i'm really desperate too... i try not to date casually and i want to take pills just to avoid getting herpes... i know i sound paranoid and maybe i am but i can't believe that i was dating a girl who had herpes without her telling me. she knew she had it and she broke down when i discovered it.. she gave me several of her acicvir pills and told me if i want i can take them but i'm waiting for results first.. She told me she had type 1 but i don't know if i can trust her anymore.. [broke up immediately after i discovered she lied]
wow... this is all so f*cked up... My boyfriend claims he never had an ob either... but he was over it in about a week. I'm going on a week and a half of an ob and a new blister appears about every other day. I just saw the doc yesterday and was diagnosed. On meds now but just started last night the meds.
I cried my eyes out at the docs and he was so quite the whole time. Even cranky like.. All I wanted to do was talk about it. I just find it odd he healed so fast. hmm. I get a blood test monday to determine antibodies and what strain.
He has still to go..... interesting..
by the way. he claimed he did'nt know what his "ob" was... that was 2 months ago.
to the original poster:
Based on the fact your blood test didnt show it could mean one of two things.......you had it but never had an outbreak, which is why sometimes antibodies cannot be detected in the blood, until someone has symptoms and the antibodies show up in response to those symptoms, thus being found in the blood. For some people it takes a while for it to show in their blood, although they have it.
or, more than likely she had it already as it showed in her blood. Get tested via blood in 6 weeks and by then you'll have antibodies im sure. Anyway, it is far more common than you think for people to have no outbreaks and have no clue they have it. Its estimated that more than half the people who have herpes do not get outbreaks and have no clue they even have it. Especially important to remember is that she most likely never did have an outbreak and never had any reason to suggest or make her think it was even a possibility for her to have had it. same thing happened with me and my boyfriend.........we were together for 3 years, sleeping together, everything and never a sign or a symptom ever....then randomly one day I get the worst "rash" ive ever seen all over my butt and pubic hair region.....have no clue what the hell it is.......see doctor....they're not sure either, say it doesnt look anything like herpes but my nurse practitioner is smart and knows herpes can present in a million ways, has me tested "just in case".......and bam! positive for type 2.
my boyfriend was in shock, almost more than me, thought it was impossible, wondered how this could happen.....before my results were in, he got a sore.....the first he'd ever seen in his life....
The reason she got her first outbreak is because you still had active virus on your skin(from the outbreak that had just healed, or the one that was beginning that you werent aware of) you gave her new amounts of active virus from your skin, when you had sex with her, which caused her to have an outbreak..........previously, her virus was lying dormant and was only on her skin some of the time, but because she never had any visible symptoms, she had no clue when she was shedding the virus(contagious) and so one unlucky time you had sex in the past when she happened to be contagious(without symptoms) and you got it, then had a massive outbreak, the active virus now on your skin, transferred to her skin and caused her to have her first outbreak...
that is why it is possible to "give outbreaks" back and forth with herpes.......once you have it, you have it, but you can be reinfected so to speak by your partner, or vice versa if they are having an active outbreak or if they are shedding the virus without visible symptoms....it can then cause an outbreak in you if you come in contact with the active virus externally again. Its a very dynamic virus. That is why they say to use condoms, even in committed relationships where both partners have it......to try and cut down on it going back and forth so to speak. so that is why she got her first outbreak finally because she got it from having sex with you when you had the virus active on your skin. the days before and after an outbreak are very risky times to have sexual contact because you are still contagious even when the visible symptoms go away often.
i really appreciate everyones responses, still doing my best to cope with my situation...everything gets better day by day....
everything except my relationship that is....i am still holding some sort of resentment towards her...and cant help it...
she doesnt seem affected by the situation at all...she keeps telling me she wants to have sex as soon as possible...and i dont feel sexual at all, and am still worried about having another outbreak... especially since we both just had one...
i dont understand how she accepted this so easily...it makes me think she has had time to accept it...i mean, everything else she freaks out about...and something this serious...she is over in a day...just doesnt make sense.
Have you actually asked your girlfriend to explain her complacency to you?
Why is she so easy going about this - it is obviously very traumatic to you?
If she just had an ob and tested positive for herpes why isn't she freaked out? Why isn't she depressed? Why isn't she despondent or having a crisis?
Why is she in such a hurry to have sex when it seemed to precipitate the ob she just experienced? Ob's are painful.
I had several thoughts come to mind reading your post and it was that when I found out I had hsv it brought me to my knees. It made me frightened. It made me depressed and despondent. It was absolutely devastating. I had to consider my future and how I was now infected for life. How does someone simply not react?
I'd want to know the answers to those questions if it were me in that situation.
Reality check -
Many of us have a hard time knowing we have to tell people we have herpes. Most of us accept that we must tell everyone before engaging in sexual activity even at the risk of rejection. It changes the way we view dating and relating.
Some people are frightened of the rejection and won't tell potential partners and some people are pathological about simply passing the virus on with the thought that the person won't leave once they both have it - like a trap.
4th of july i wake up feeling amazing for the first time....my energy is totally back, i have no symptoms...king of the hill....then at lunch my girlfriend is like what is on your eyelid... i run to the bathroom and see this small what appears to be blister...a single small one on linining of my lower eyelid...i go to examine it...and it easily pops....now i instantly think that i someone transfered herpes to my eye...freak out and needless to say have a horrible afternoon....
i still dont know what it was...i washed like crazy...and havent had anymore...i still kinda feel like my eye feels weird...i dont know if its my head or not...or if ocular herpes even looks like that....
again it was a small water filled blister that easily popped and did not come back...it has not scabbed and is almost gone now... any thoughts
am i freaking out over something else or is it likely that i somehow transfered it to my eye???
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