Question:
I am a single female who just found out I have herpes 2.

Although it is life-altering and devastating, it comes as no surprise. I spent many years abusing drugs and getting involved in risky sexual situations.

But ironically, I am on the right path and have a good job, good prospects and take care of myself. This is when it chooses to strike. I think it has lain dormant in my system, and the first outbreak has come.

My question to those out there is, how do you tell potential partners? How have you found new relationships to fare, once you tell your partner about your condition? How do people react? I am aware now that all my personal relationships will change, and potentially go sour once I admit my condition.

I am curious as to the response people have gotten from their prospective mates.

Thanks!

Answer:
My test results yielded good results on everything else.

This was the only thing I tested positive on.

In a strange way, I feel thankful.

HELPLESS

Answer:
Is there no-one out there that can help?

I'd really appreciate it. I see 15 reads on my message, but no replies.

Maybe someone can tell me of another messageboard?

I could use some feedback.


Thanks

HELPLESS

Answer:
I can't give too much advice on reactions from potential partners because I only told one person who was just a friend and I really wasn't looking for a relationship with him.

Just the same, he was very supportive and basically said at least you don't have something more serious.

My general advice though is to be honest and disclose your H status before any sexual contact. Also, your partners reaction will depend quite a bit on the manner in which you tell them. If you start crying and hyper-ventilating (uh like I did) then they might see herpes as a terrible death sentence, but then again, maybe not if they're more open or knowledgable.

I also advise seeking out a support group in your area. Sometimes people do exercises where they practice telling a potential partner. Kinda korney, maybe, but it helped me out a lot.

-blessedfreedom

Answer:
My question to those out there is, how do you tell potential partners? How have you found new relationships to fare, once you tell your partner about your condition? How do people react? I am aware now that all my personal relationships will change, and potentially go sour once I admit my condition. Yet another one on my level of thinking. It's good to know at least I'm not in the minority. I guess many people go through this with GH.

I've never had the guts to tell any potential partners in fear that it would go "sour" too. But I've finally grown very tired of living this way.

Answer:
Thanks for your replies.

My desire to seek out potential mates came a grinding halt, and I don't forsee that changing anytime soon.

I guess this is the norm....

I feel "marked".

As for support groups, I don't quite have the guts for that yet.

HELPLESS

Answer:
Helpless- there are tons of discussions about 'telling' in the Dating & Relating Forum.... :)


Such as:







Hope this helps...

s2bh

Answer:
Helpless, how long have you known you have , "H'?

Answer:
I have had HSV1 in the genital area for 3 years now. I considered myself lucky for having any outbreaks in the past 3 years. It changed my life completely to going out on 2 first dates in 2 years.

The reason why I did not date because I felt I would be broadcasting it to the world if I had to tell these guys and I did not feel comfortable with them to let them know.

Anyway, last year I met someone that I really like and we took it extremely slowly. I told him that I had herpes about a month into dating each others and he said that he was fine with it. 2 months later we had sex but he was so freaked out about catching that it caused our realtionship to go sour and we broke up.

My advice telling your partner before engaging in any sexual activities. You might get rejected and hurt but you will at least know that this person is not worth it.