Question:
Results back today from tSTD (thanks for the recommendation, always_searching).

And I'm... negative. I'm guessing it was irritation from yeast (I've had other non-herpes symptoms that looked a lot like yeast elsewhere) and probably soap with a dash of psychosomatic irritation from freaking the fuck out about having H, but I'm going to go to a doctor right away if i notice anything else like it in the future. I'm pretty confident I'm negative since it's been 15 weeks.

I can't even describe how relieved I am after the last three months of anxiety, but I've definitely gotten something out of this. Firstly, I'm going to be a hell of a lot more careful about any casual encounters I may have in the future. Secondly, I'd definitely date someone with herpes and I feel like I understand what this is all about a little better and the scale in which H has infected people.

Thanks to everyone for your support and advice! This is a great place to turn for help, although I hope I don't have any need to return in the near future.

Answer:
Congratulations!!