Question:
hey,
i'm not sure how to start this really. I just found out today that me and my boyfriend both have herpes (genital). Even though my boyfriend and i are both confused were both doing okay i suppose. It kind of feels like our relationship is a lot stronger because were both going through it and we can both be there for each other. I just dont know how to tell people. I dont plan on telling people i dont trust of course, but people like our family, especially my mom. im so scared about that. I was wondering for some advice on that.

thanks

Answer:
Hey Ourlady,

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. You're not alone. There are many with this virus and although it's a shock when you find out, it's something you can live with and be happy. This virus doesn't define who you are, it's just that, a virus.

I read you are worried about who to tell, I understand how you must feel. I will say this, you don't have to tell anyone that doesn't have to know except the person you are intimate with (already knows) or anyone you plan on being with in the future. It's really is no one else's business. I have a close friend who told her best friend, but she knew that she would never tell anyone else (which she hasn't). Good luck and come here often if you wish and you'll find a lot of support and compassion from everyone here.

Miketwo

Answer:
I have to agree with Mike. Although it's not something I'm ashamed of, for me, having the virus is a private thing. My partner knows, of course, but aside from him, is there anything to gain from telling anyone else? More importantly, will they benefit from knowing? Not that I can see.

Good luck to both of you. I'm glad you're able to support each other through this. It's always hard at first, but it gets easier. I promise.