Question:
I went in to see my doctor on Wednesday so he could review lab tests he had advised for me. It was a shocker when he told me that I had tested positive for both Herpes 1 and Herpes 2. I did not have any herpes symptoms at all! I just thought it was a yeast infection. It was so surreal. I felt nothing sitting there in front of him while he explained how I could have possibly been exposed to it. It finally hit me when I left the clinic. I started stressing.

I started to have a strong discharge oder and itching last year around November. I checked out the symptoms online and it was close to a yeast infection. I went to have a pap done and they found bacteria. They didn't give me much information. They just perscribed me some medication and had me go on my merry way. The medication helped for a while but the symptoms came back. So I decided to go to a new doctor, the one I have now. He treated me for a yeast infection and had me take some lab testing for STD's. My pap came back as abnormal, which I will have to go back to repap. My test results came back, and I went in on Wednesday to go over them with my doctor. He didn't give me much information because I am to see him next week after some more lab testing unrelated to my Herpes diagnosis.

Since the beginning of this year I have only been sexually active with one guy. I wanted to talk to him face to face and tell him. It's a very sensitive subject for me because I don't know how to deal with the news that I have herpes. How am I supposed to tell this to him? What do I say? He wanted me to do it over the phone and I just couldn't. I ended up telling him that I wanted more than just sex with him. He obviously didn't want to committ to me and hung up the phone. I have not been able to get a hold of him since.

So I am left here wondering if I got it from him or not? I have had 3 other partners before him, but my symptoms of vaginal itching and a strong discharge oder did not occur until after I have been sexually active with him. I just have all these questions for him that won't be answered. That just makes it harder for me to deal with.

I cried for the past two days. How do I move on from this? How do I go on? It's like the end of the world to me. I hurt so much inside that I can't take it anymore. I feel mad, sad, hurt, and alone all at the same time. I don't know what to do anymore. How can I tell my family without them criticizing me? I just don't need that right now. How do I tell this to my someone in the future?

I feel like I'm in a dream and I want to wake up now.

Answer:
I just have all these questions for him that won't be answered. That just makes it harder for me to deal with.

I cried for the past two days. How do I move on from this? How do I go on? It's like the end of the world to me. I hurt so much inside that I can't take it anymore. I feel mad, sad, hurt, and alone all at the same time. I don't know what to do anymore. How can I tell my family without them criticizing me? I just don't need that right now. How do I tell this to my someone in the future? Hi sKareD,

I'm a newbie at this too. I've contacted the 2 women I most likely could have gotten it from. I'm not mad and tried to approach it in a supportive and concerned way. One has been really great throughout and her tests (so far and hopefully forever) have been negative. The other cannot believe it was her, regardless of any real scientific possibility. She is not in the country right now and she won't respond to my emails asking about how she's doing.

I guess the bottom line is that it seems people will react differently - unfortunately, your ex isn't handling it well. The other lesson may be that you do what you can to advise / warn / caution them and if they don't listen, there's not much you can do beyond a certain point. The simple fact is that we're in this club now and it probably doesn't matter HOW we got it, just that we do. I guess you can try a couple of more times to get the message across or your questions answered, then move on and take care of you now.

As far as the family goes, that seems to be a tough one. This board has been my "friend" over the past few sleepless nights. I won't tell my family until I have more information and after more experience. I figure I will go through more OB's or maybe 1 year before I even tell my brother. I have one great friend who has guided me and listened to my struggles. So, yeah, it seems to be a lonely time right now.

I'm in Cali too. PM if you need to talk or just vent. I think the people on this board are pretty dang supportive and I think this needs to be our support network for awhile. At least until we learn to cope / accept our condition and ourselves again.

Dating again seems a long way off. But for now, I take comfort in the idea that there are success stories on this site. I just read their accounts and hope for a brighter future.

Hang in there - you're not alone!!