Question:
Ok. About two and a half weeks ago i was convinced that i had contracted genital herpes from a brief but unprotected sexual encounter with a woman whose HSV2 status was unknown to me. however i am not so certain now. at the time i was 100% convinced. in the first couple of weeks i had the lower back pian and burning, pain in the lower stomach area, what i thought to be sensitve and red areas on my penis, a sore neck and feeling like i had to pee with little results. (i never really had the headaches or flu like symptoms (but i know it is different for everyone)) I even thought that i had spread the virus to my face under my lower eye because i had some irritation and tiny "spider" veins. After seeing two different doctors and a dermatologist (as well as a psychologist to prescribe anti-drepressants and sleeping pills b/c of anxiety) all have said that everything is in my head and that my physical "symptoms" were completely normal and expected (doc said redness on the penis is EASILY caused by any form of irritation and the lack of leisions gives him so reason to even guess herpes) and that my other symptoms are most likely accredited to my general anxiety disorder and depression of what was happening.

I feel like i am trapped in a rock and hardspot. I feel as if i have the symptoms (even the pain in the legs) but everyone else is telling me that it is not the case. I read on here all of the time that doctors continually are messing up with the diagnosis of herpes and i just dont know what to do? I had a herpes test at 3 weeks and i know that does no good and i see a new dermatologist in a week. what the heck do i do people? i cannot live with this daily stress and not knowing and i dont know how to make it to week 12. I am slowly losing my friends because i just cant stand to be around anybody and my only comfort comes from being in my room and googling symptoms, possible cures and other diseases that may be causing this. Not to mention the walgreens by me is already running low on purell bc of my frequent cleaning).

I am thinking that shouldn't i have had a physical outbreak by now given the ABSOLUTE and CHRONIC depression/anxiety/stress i have been feeling? i'm at the point now where if i dont get an ob i almost have to assume i dont have it. I can physically feel the stress has weakend my immune system because little knick and cuts aren't healing as fast as they used to and i am very susceptible to skin irritations now... or is it because of the herpes??? Does anyone have any insight into this for me?

Ohya i forgot to add that after i told my dad about my possible condition, he said "so what, your mother has had it for 35 years and she is just fine". doesn't that give me some kind of immunity?

p.s. just writing about these symptoms and seeing them are making me feel them again.

So what is your guys/gals takes?

sick of but stillworrying

Answer:
Hi sickofworrying,

I think getting your anxiety under control is priority!

No offense, but being too self-absorbed just isn't good. When we are fixating on ourselves sometimes the only relief is to think about something, or someone else. It wouldn't hurt to push yourself out of your comfort zone and go do some volunteer work. That will help get you out of your room, out of your head, and away from googling diseases. Stay busy with that and the 12 weeks will fly by. Then you can get an accurate blood test and finally know for sure.

Your Mother having herpes doesn't build your immunity to herpes. However it does show that you can have hsv and a full life with a loving partner.

Lay off the caffeine, sugar, purell, alcohol, and googling for a while. Try to let yourself have fun with your friends! Take care of yourself and give yourself a break.
You are going to be fine.

Peace

Answer:
Hi.

I am at risk for HSV2. I have never had a genital OB I identified as an OB and had swabbed. My story is complicated, but the short of it is that there is a decent chance I have been, and continue to be, exposed to HSV2. I will definately swab if I ever have a clear outbreak, and I would consider to blood test if a 100% accurate blood test emerges but for complicated reasons, may choose not to do a blood test.

I didn't come to this decision easily, and for days I trawled the internet, as are you, reading about symptoms and percentages, weighing the odds. I was a wreck.

Luckily, I have committed to regular counseling for years (before herpes was an issue in my brain) whose sessions focus on anxiety, so I have done a lot of work on recognizing when my anxiety is playing up and address it using specific, practiced methods.

What you write reminds me of when I spiral and my feelings of fear trigger a panic/flight response inappropriate to the situation. The bit about losing friends especially...that isolation is created by anxiety symptoms, not herpes symptoms.

Because of my work with my counselor, within a couple days I was able to recognize my biggest problem as an anxiety issue triggered by fear of social rejection and jacked up by the unknown truth coupled with the certainty of risk. This is important, because attempting to chase after certain answers to an uncertain problem (herpes without an outbreak) did nothing to help alleviate my biggest problem -- anxiety. Fully recognizing my anxiety, acknowledging it's efforts to protect me, and then gently letting it go returned me to normalcy.

So far in my life, NOTHING -- not death, not rejection, not cancer, not abandonment, not any other thing that has kept me up quaking in fear at night over the years, and certainly not herpes -- is as big and bad as my anxiety. I learned this by successfully learning to treat my anxiety and discovering that life's worst problems are shockingly managemable without it.

I suggest taking calm, deep breaths and doing anything positive that keeps you from spiraling further. For me, that means talking with and receiving acceptance and love from a couple of accepting, trusted friends & family members; practicing yoga & tai chi; and being extraordinarily and consciously grateful for time -- even if only moments-- that I am not spiraling into anxiety. Accepting that sometimes I will spiral anyway, but that it will always pass.

Consider securing a good counselor.

Good luck!

Answer:
Question? Have you been to the doctor to be tested?

Answer:
Claudia and Shayna,

Thank you very much for your replies. I never knew how powerful the mind can truely be until now. never would i have imagined that just by thinking about something so much could one manifest those thoughts into what seem to be actual feelings. I am continuing to take my medications and i have opened up about my issue with my father and sister and i do feel better. It is just the whole uncertainty thing that is still eating me alive. EVERY time i get any sensation down there i think "oh this time it is it for sure" and that has to stop. The sexual encounter applied a great deal of guilt and despair on me and i am just beginning to address that. I think it will help.

1bad
yes i have been tested but it was far too soon for any type of anti-bodies to show up. hence the 12 week wait.

Answer:
Hi, sickofworrying.

I'm glad to hear that you have found your way to some support and relief. It sounds like you are tapping into a bit of wisdom.

The mind /is/ so powerful. I have spent a lot of time in the clutches of the agony of the anxiety response to the unknown. For me, staying in touch with and returning (if I stray) to that wisdom, as well as directing myself to thoughts and activities/friends that calm, relax and distract me, are the keys to returning to normalcy. This is true no matter what challanges come my way.

Be well.

Answer:
I do the same thing with the worrying. I know how I got HSV1 after seeing my doc. I got it from my boyfriend who never remembers having a coldsore and we have been together (and faithful) for over four years....just did the wrong thing on the wrong day I guess. Anyway, for some reason I became freaked out that I had other things too. I was paranoid that somehow we must have HIV too and that I would give it to my daughter through breastfeeding. So I got an HIV test and had to have my mom get the results for me because I was so freaked out!! Negative whoo hoo.

Anyway, I really learned something from this. I know I have herpes and I can deal with it. I know I'm HIV negative and so is my little girl. So I have taken this as a wake up call to enjoy life more and take better care of myself. This week I've stayed off the internet searching for "symptoms" and have been having a ball playing with my daughter. We're clearing out all the junk food and I'm giving up my diet pepsi addiction. I'm going to live a healthier and better life BECAUSE of herpes. How ya like me now little virus??

I did have my doc prescribe me 10 xanax pills to get me through the hump. I only took 3 or 4 and I fell a lot better and more at peace now. You will too, you sound a lot like me. If you do have herpes then you will deal with it and move on. If not, take this as a lesson to take better care of yourself. Best of luck.