Question:
Hi, my first time. I have been involved in 10 plus year marriage which I believed to be healthy, loving and faithful. My husband recently had midlife crisis, sent me email, bought new corvette and moved in with old love 10 years prior to me. It was a total shock to me learning many secrets about his secret life. Something you see on Oprah! Part of all of this was to get myself tested and found out I have genital herpes. This was all a surprise because of the fact that I have had no outbreaks at all and never even a yeast infection. My doctor believes that I could be a carrier and diagnosed with early onset. What does early onset really mean? I am very healthy, active physically all my life and look 15 years younger than my age of 48. My doctor advised me that I will probally not have an outbreak because if I haven't had one now due to the severe stress I am under I probally never will. So this is so surreal..right now when I am starting to feel a little better about everything I find this out. I met a slightly older man who is my intellectual equal and very kind; but broke it off because everytime I try to talk to him about it I start crying. This of course makes me appear totally psycho. I broke it off because I was too ashamed to tell him and afraid of his response (we have not started a sexual relation since I am not divorced). I am still finalizing an agressive, nasty divorce. I have not advised my husband or my attorney of my findings and am afraid due that someone will findout about me in my social setting. I am considering moving to a new town since this whole issue is so sad due to my husband's betrayal and now this... should I let my ex and attorney know! I have been faithful throughout our marriage; he has been out there with others and I thank God in a way that it is only herpes (one good thing).

Answer:
HSV can be passsed on via oral sex - did you soon to be ex husband ever a a coldsore?:

it is possbile to be a carrier for many years before having an outbreak - one poster - i think its caliope - carried HSV for ten yeras before she had an Outbreak.

also did you know 1 in 4 americans have genital herpes - so i wouldn worry about being a social outcast.

its your call about telling your ex and attorny,. i tell the ex as he may go giving it to other poeple if you dont..

i cant see much point in telling an attorny, unless you want it used for a reason for divorcing him?