Question:
A month or so ago, I went to a gynecological specialist because I believed that I had vulvar vestibulitis syndrome (which causes painful intercourse). He took my blood and must have tested me for HSV-1 and HSV-2 (without my consent but whatever)... He called a week or so later and told me that I had antibodies in my blood that he believed to be the HSV-2 virus. I was in disbelief because I have never had any symptoms or outbreaks. Here is the real problem though- my boyfriend tested negative, and we have been having unprotected sex for over 3 years. I realize that there is a possibility that I have HSV-2 and have not passed it onto him due to some stroke of luck. However, he asked me to take another blood test because he didn't believe the results. As things began to fall apart for us (I think due to this herpes issue), I decided that we should break up and I wrote to him and told him that I tested negative the second time around in fear of him telling other people (we share a circle of friends). He is not malicious, but I was scared of having this stigma attached to me. So he calls me and told me he wants to give it another chance between us. I, however, have yet to get my second test results back and I feel that I am probably not negative. I don't know this for sure, but I don't think he would want to be with me if I were positive. I am basically caught in this lie. I do not know if I should tell him, how I should tell him or if I should just break up with him and never tell him about my positive results. I am hoping that the 2nd test will say negative but doubtful. I feel like I am lying to him but it was the only way to protect myself. Please help me... any advice about what I should do/how I should approach this? Do you think it sounds like he would want to be with me if I ended up positive? He was so quick to call me once he thought I was herpes-free... One more thing: Is it possible that I have this and he is completely negative after so many years of intimacy with him?

Answer:
Is it possible that I have this and he is completely negative after so many years of intimacy with him? Well, it's possible that he is still negative though you have HSV-2 and been having unprotected sex for many years...

.... if I were you, I would tell him the truth (you didn't get the second trest result yet), and see how you guys feel about each other .. just because.. I don't think you can make the right decision when you put something "untrue" between you and him. That will make YOU feel unsure about the whole thing...


Best wishes..

Faith

Answer:
and we have been having unprotected sex for over 3 years. I decided that we should break up Why did you decide this? Herpes related or no?

I wrote to him and told him that I tested negative the second time around So he calls me and told me he wants to give it another chance between us So when he finds out you were negative NOW he wants to be back together? :roll:

but I don't think he would want to be with me if I were positive Is this your insecurity giving you that feeling, or has his past behavior when he thought you had HSV that gave him away?

You've been together for 3 years, and you think he would not want to be with you if you were positive? If you can't build something in 3 years that will withstand having HSV...

Maybe its time to cut your losses and move on?

I know that sounds blunt, but...

As far as being honest...

There is no better time to be honest then right now.

And you have to be honest with yourself also, and willing to accept whatever happens as a result of being honest.

I think your current quandry is evidence enough to you that being dishonest does not bring you ANY peace of mind.

The only way to have peace of mind is to be honest.

Until you are honest with him, and yourself, you will always be stressed.

You know what you have to do.

Find the courage to be honest... Yes, that may chase him away... OR maybe he'll take a step back and realize that HSV or not, you are the person he wants to be with.

A lot of honesty and a little time will do wonders for a relationship....


Good luck,

Answer:
Did you ever consider that you got hsv from your ex...it's very difficult to determine with a blood test if someone has hsv since it only tests for the anti-bodies in the blood, especially if they don't have out breaks; from what i hear false negative results happen fairly often (90 % of people with hsv don't know that they have it) so that's just something that i thought of while reading your post...as for the guy if you feel that he would dump your 3 yr relationship over hsv then i say dump him and don't worry about telling him about your hsv cuz it's not his business any more!