Question:
I just found out I have genital herpes yesterday. Cried pretty much the whole day and then had to go to my first day of class at college. I can honestly say that was the second worst day of my life. I had to call my ex boyfriend (who I had been with for 4 years) and my new boyfriend (who I've been with for 6 months) to let them know and suggest they get tested immediately. I have never had an outbreak, never had any symptoms at all. I am so shocked right now I don't know what to do with myself. My ex was not happy to hear from me and treated me like scum of the earth. He judged me because now this Herpes makes me different. He says he is 90% sure it didn't come from him. The new boyfriend is freaking out. He is wondering if I gave it to him, or even worst, if he somehow contracted it and gave it to me. He is going to get tested thank god. If he comes back clean then I am happy for him, but it means I will have to break up with him. I really love this guy. I want to marry him one day. But I will not willingly give Herpes to another human being. I won't do it. If that means no sexual contact for the rest of my life then so be it. It scares me to death. I don't want to go through life without love. Is there anyone in a simliar predicament? What did you do?

Answer:
Hey sweetie,

Right after I was diagnosed I lost it--and told myself that I would never, ever date someone that didn't already have herpes for the sheer fact that I could give it to them. But then I started reading around here and elsewhere on the internet. I called doctors and nurses. Not every couple that has one person positive for HSV ends up with two if you're careful.

Just a thought... but you want to marry this man and you're going to lose that over herpes? Don't be ridiculous. If he comes back negative and still wants to be with you, then you have found yourself a man worth his weight in gold. (At least in that aspect.)

You are not alone, please don't forget that. And don't let a scummy ex talk down to you because you got herpes.

I hope classes start to get better for you, I'm a student and I know how stressful college can be. Don't forget to take care of yourself while you're dealing with all of this.

Answer:
I have had herpes for 23 years. I've had plenty of sex, love and fun. you just have to be careful, so far I have never given it to any of my partners. just know you have to use condoms for ever, and may have to give up recieving oral sex, that's what I did. if you have a partner, use Valtrex to make things extra safe. "the talk" is always hard for me, but I havent had a man yet reject me because of herpes. dont give up, life can still be good.

Answer:
I have had herpes for 23 years. I've had plenty of sex, love and fun. you just have to be careful, so far I have never given it to any of my partners. just know you have to use condoms for ever, and may have to give up recieving oral sex, that's what I did. if you have a partner, use Valtrex to make things extra safe. "the talk" is always hard for me, but I havent had a man yet reject me because of herpes. dont give up, life can still be good.
Thats not all true condoms do protect for the most part but as far as viral shedding goes without any form of suppression it doesn't always happen around area of first outbreak it can happen on thigh area or legs. Any touching of skin can exchange it. As far as oral sex goes the chances of you getting hsv2 oral from performing oral sex are very low and even if you did get it on your face the chances of a recurring outbreak hsv2 oral is even lower. Same goes with hsv1 oral having that on your genitals.

I refuse to use condoms on my hsv2 positive girlfriend and also am a oral sex fiend so thats not a option of giving up ether. I know alot of people that have had unprotected sex and never caught it. Even though you can catch it and not realize you even carry genital herpes. Society makes herpes seem more of a horrible thing then it really is. Statisticly people with herpes that do find relationships usually work out longer and healther cause of the open mindness and honestly it takes then non std couples.

Answer:
Statisticly people with herpes that do find relationships usually work out longer and healther cause of the open mindness and honestly it takes then non std couples. Do you happen to have a link to your source for this? I'm interested in reading up on it.

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Good luck. Its rough to have to deal with this and college,but keep positive. Things will get better

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Thanks for your input it really helped me out. Everything is still sinking in. Everywhere I go I feel like everybody knows, which of course they don't. Is it possible to go your entire life without an ob? I am afraid of having one. I really don't know much about Herpes. Does anybody have any extra tips or advice they can give me? My current boyfriend has been extremely supportive. He still wants to be with me even if he doesn't have Herpes (he's getting tested soon). I don't went to infect him though. What can I do to keep him from getting it? And what if it doesn't work out? Can I only be with other people who have this?

Answer:
Do you happen to have a link to your source for this? I'm interested in reading up on it. Just search hsv2 and there is a few references to it.

Answer:
Everything will be fine mostly after a year or so you won't even notice the symptoms if you even have them.