Question:
I am so lonely all the time. I cry every single day. I have no friends. I'm terrified of men, and of them finding out. I feel worthless. H is my only companion. How can I ever find people to be around, if I can't even stand being around myself? I just quit my job, have no other one lined up. I'm shutting myself out of this world. Will this ever end? I just wanted love like everyone else, but now I'm even more of an outcast than I was before. I have gone through 4 shrinks, and no one seems to help or understand any of this. I want to get better (from this depression) but I don't know how, and I can't afford the help I really need.

Answer:
you need to realize that this is not the end of the world. It is a challange, but not the end. stay on suppressives if you so choose, take all your supplements, wacth your diet, try to stay stress free and love yourself. You will find that yes it will be harder to find a good man, but not like it was easy before! H is almost away of weeding out a$$holes that arent worth your time. it can be a blessing in disguise sometimes. just think of yourself as a member of an elite few that make up 20-25% of the population! :grin: You will be OK! we all went through it and will still go through it. It is up to YOU and YOU alone how much power you let H have over you! you are still a great person and im sure you have a lot to offer, so screw it! keep on truckin, you cant give up now. People on here are always available to help and when you feel like no one understands---- WE DO! thats whats so great about it! also, if you research on line, there are probably H support groups in person somewhere in your area, that might help seeing people in person that are all effected just as you are, and will understand you. Also, whenever youre ready there are sooooo many std dating sites to meet men, and they will understand as well because they too are effected by this, so you dont have to stress the anxiety of disclosing to anyone who might runn off ( and belive me, they might run off, but screw 'em!) We are here! you are NOT ALONE!!!! always remember that! chin up... stay strong... hugs! xoxox

Answer:
Maybe this board will help you bc we can identify with each other. We're not 3rd parties (shrinks) asking you to take our word for it that you'll be okay. Our opinions on H come from the same experience you are having (at least physically).

But I'm concerned about one thing. Were you depressed before H? I ask bc you said something like you're "more of an outcast than you already were," and you've had four shrinks, etc. Have you been diagnosed for a long time? If you are predisposed to depression, you might want to consider managing depression as a health issue unto itself. Coming to terms with H shouldn't be an immense struggle for the long-term. Most of us were depressed at first, but we started to bounce back after a few days or weeks. If you were depressed before, H probably seems like much more of a mountain than it does once you get out of that hole.

Maybe you can start by getting back some part of your life that has nothing to do with herpes. If spending time with friends seems scary or pointless, maybe you can find some kind of activity to focus on while you ease yourself back into it -- like bowling or baking cookies or playing cards or something. I dunno, just an idea. Why not try?

Answer:
One of the best ways to stop thinking about yourself is to think about someone or something else. Have you considered volunteering at your local animal shelter or hospital? If you're having trouble relating to people just now, go down to your local SPCA or rescue shelter and tell them you want to help. There are so many dogs and cats there who are desperate for affection and someone to care about them, if that doesn't make you feel worthwhile, I don't know what will.

The wonderful thing about animals is that the only gauge they use to judge a person is whether they're nice, and you seem like a nice person. They don't care what you look like, what kind of clothes you wear, whether you have money or not, or even whether you have herpes. They just want you to love them, and you sound like you have enough love in your heart to go around to all of them.

They need someone like you to bring some light into their lives, and maybe you could use a little love from them to get you started back on your own path. Think about it, okay? But not too long. Right now, there's a lonely, scared little dog in a cage there who desperately needs a hug and a kind word... maybe from you?

Answer:
send me a personal email.... maybe we can chat on the phone

Answer:
hey
i just found out about G.H in my body which will only "till death do us part"::rolleyes:
few weeks ago. It was really painful.I was also depressed,scared, angry as i do not how i got this as my partner does not have it.. embarassed about myself and felt like running away and hide somewhere else and be alone.
after i found out from the web that we can actually control it with our diet, try to be stress free, its not end of the world yet.
Yes, its not only physically suffering, but also emotionally hurt.
But think of it, there are many things out there waiting for us, try to focus on some thing more important, like help the needy, go for a ride and a deep breath start a new life again....
If we continue in depression, will only get worst and ruin ourself....
I wish you all the best and everybody else out there...

Answer:
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and just now found out I have herpes. Since I just found out before I tell the person I'm dating I am going to get tested again just because I want a second opinion before I accept this life long disease. However, I have accepted the fact that the second test will too be positive so in a way I'm beginning to accept it. However, the thought of having to tell him is almost more than I can bare (because we've already been intimate so by telling him I am also telling him he may be infected). I know if he leaves because of this then it wasn't meant to be but that rejection is going to hurt. I am responding to you because I can relate on sooo many levels to what you're saying. I knew the feelings of isolation prior to the diagnosis while this doesn't help it doesn't have to be the downward spiral that those of us who are depressed have a tendency to go through. The thing is, I can tell you to try not to think about it but that's probably not going to happen. You say that you quit your job, well I just lost mine. So now I have nothing to do but sit around and have a "woe is me" attitude. Here's the thing, we can turn the depression around ( not immediately), the suggestions of volunteering are excellent because that's what I've done and it really does help to put things in perspective. While the animal shelter is great ( I volunteer there as well) I would suggest the hospital. Nothing helped me snap out of my depression faster than seeing someone who is far worse off than I am with a positive attitude. You will get more from them than you are giving. Trust me. Since you're not working, find a place that calms you. I live near the ocean so that's where I go. Looking at the water makes me feel small. But in a good way, it's just a reminder that the world will continue to turn and it's up to me to determine what tomorrow will bring for me. I have control over whether or not I stay depressed. I have been on this earth for a few years and I have had a few episodes where I didn't think I would make it. Now when I feel that way, I know that whatever is happening will pass. You just need to remember that, this feeling will pass. You will get through it, and you will be in the position to pass that knowledge on to the next person who unfortunately goes through this. It's only been a week since my diagnosis. But that's what helps me, the knowledge that it will pass.

Answer:
I was in your shoes when I first sound out sweetie. I removed myself from my life from a month--leaving town, cutting people out of my life, etc. etc. etc. It does get better, and I think I can say this board really helped.

What's important right now (as much as you don't want to hear it) is that you take good care of yourself and don't isolate yourself from people that do care about you. Treat yourself to a nice meal, long soak in the bathtub, eat well... just take care of yourself. We're here if you need us.

Answer:
Dear Hoffmmel,
You have got the blues bad. I know how you feel and can understand your sense of worthlessness. It sucks.
I had aswell, leaks in my aquarium. The leaks are still there but I have managed to bandage a few, but all is still frangile but I feel better.
Why did you leave your job or were you bullied out? You need to start taking better care of yourself so you will start to like yourself. I am just going through a beatup phase, eating like a pig and growing like a balloon. I am now going to start jogging. I need to find my hot body again. Love my packaging again. My H been hanging around for over a month.
I have not seen anyone this month and too like the H hibernate. We need to take advantage of this OUR time and do things that will better us. I am going to try to do my exercise. Write me any time to dump on the world. I will let you know of my crap and hopefully we will both be able to pull eachother through, even smile. The H right now is something not to worry about. We need to fix a couple of bigger leaks b4 we can worry about the little leaks. You with me? ;)
xxD