Question:
This past week I was diagnosed with HSV-2. I went into my doctor's office because I had a suspicious and very painful lesion on my vulva. I thought I would be at low risk for herpes because I am married and haven't been with anyone else in years. There are no fidelity issues. When the doctor first viewed the lesion he said it was a staph infection, unfortunately he was WRONG!!!! My fears were confirmed later in the week.

I'm really ruminating over the entire issue. My spouse says he's never had any symptoms of herpes and up until this point neither had I. Am I most likely the original carrier of the virus or is it possible that he has the virus and has been lucky enough never to have an outbreak? I found it really odd that I suddenly had this outbreak because I have endured quite a bit of stress in the past decade without ever having anything like this happen. For example, as a student I would stay up all night studying and then write up to four exams the next day; I used to work two full time jobs with no days off; I often worked a graveyard shift and then would have to work another job a few hours later. In all of these instances I *never* had an outbreak despite great amounts of stress. When I had this "outbreak" my stress was brought on with the starting of a new job...I just find it all very bizarre...It seems impossible that I could have had this for years.

I started showing prodromal symptoms about two weeks ago. My lesion has shrunk, but is still present. When the hell is this thing going to go away? I hate having to be reminded of it. I never thought I would be the target audience for a Valtrax commercial. I feel angry because I've never been particularly promiscuous but I now have HSV-2 AND HPV. (I was diagnosed with HPV when I was 18. That was traumatizing in itself. Laser therapy on the cervix is unpleasant.)

I'm just wondering if anyone can provide any insights to my situation. Considering my health and circumstances is it possible that this thing could have been lying dormant in my body for years!?!? Before my husband, I had a 4 year relationship. My partner then never exhibited any symptoms and neither did I, obviously. Could I be lucky and never experience another symptom in my life? This is all so annoying! I hate herpes.

Violet.

Answer:
Hi,

I am definitely not an expert as I was diagnosed a month ago but I've read a lot of posts/literature on websites about this virus being latent for long periods of time. However, it's possible that you or you're husband have been positive for hsv2 for years and never knew it. Herpes is not included in the standard STD panel you have to specifically ask for it. So one of you could have gotten it from a previous relationship and didn't know it. It could have presented itself in such a mild way that you or he never knew that it was herpes since most people assume that if you have herpes you would have these awful outbreaks regularly and suffer greatly from it. As we now know this isn't the case. So to answer your question, in my opinion it is possible to have this and not realize it. If I didn't change doctors I would've never known I had this either because my previous doctor never tested me for this ( I had to go to the 1 doctor in 100 who does ) anyway, just my opinion.

Answer:
Thanks for the info. It's very frustrating to know that I will never know where this disease came from!

Answer:
Violet, I share your frustration. I have been married 31 yrs. have never been with another man and now I have HSV2. I don't have a clue.. unless my husband.....

I feel so sad and ashamed. At 52 yrs old - never had sex with anyone but husband and now this. I feel branded.

Answer:
Jean,

Unfortunately your feelings are all to common. It's a phase but it'll pass. Herpes is not a reflection on who you are, it's a skin condition that has a really bad stigma attached. That's why we go through sooo much agony when we first find out because we worry about what others are going to think. First, it's no one else's business. hsv2 is usually genital so it's not like you're at risk of transmitting it to anyone but your husband and at the end of the day in 31 years he probably already has it and since you've never been with anyone else, most likely he gave it to you. But the blame game would not be of any use to you. You and your husband will continue on and maybe occassionally have to deal with an ob (which can be managed). Keep your spirits up and try to keep this in perspective. Trust me I say this knowing exactly where you're coming from.