Question:
just found out today i have herpes. i have only been with this one person in a little over a year. he denies that he has ever had anything. he also said he called his previous girlfriend, and she said she did not have anything. he said he will go to doctor asap. am i wrong in accusing him of being the carrier and giving it to me? I have never had a problem till now. Could I be wrong? I am so confused and hurt and so many things.
thanks

Answer:
I'm not going to say you are wrong but sometimes the virus lay dormant in you for years without you having a first outbreak

Answer:
I just found out I have genital herpes, my bf is out of town right now so I haven't brought it up and I also want to get the results of my culture before I tell him, but confronting him is all I can think about. I have been with him for over 2 yrs now and haven't been w/ anyone else and now I have this. I have been experiencing what I think have been minor ob for a while but I thought they were razor bumps. Maybe he has had the same thing and gave them to me. Or maybe I have had this before him and never showed symptoms. I don't know. I know I don't want to accuse him because I do trust him. I want to believe that he didn't know he had it if he gave it to me and I didn't knowingly give it to him. I feel so terrrible. Since I am going through this ob and the stress I feel like I am putting the blame on myself, like I have infected him already since I have probably had this for a while now not realizing the severity of it. My dr. even told me that this ob seemed like a minor recurrence rather than a first and to me it was the worst I've ever had. The other similar bumps I had were so small in # (1 or 2) and barely noticeable with a magnifying mirror that I swore they were from shaving. Now I think I may have infected him although its quite possible that he infected me w/o knowing it. I have known for years that I have minor cold sores and never even knew until doing all this research now that it could be passed on to the genital area. Anyway, I am so scared that he will reject me and think that I must have cheated or passed it on to him from my previous relationships. I don't know how I'm going to tell him but I really need him to get tested and then see what happens from there. I love him very much and would be willing to work it out, but I don't know if he would be. When I first found out I thought it had to be from him and that he had to have cheated on me but the more I read about this pesky virus the more I realize that it could be 50/50 chance that either one of us passed it to the other asymptomatically from genital contact or even from oral to genital contact. Some people don't have symptoms for a long time and some like me will mistake it for something else.

Answer:
odds are that he may have the virus and never showed any visible OB's you had sex and he was having a period of asymptomatic shedding. it's not going away and if he wants to deny he gave it to you well i don't know what to tell you...just be strong, i know it's difficult to accept and all the thoughts that are running through your head are overwhelming but life will go on..

Answer:
Lizzy, you are not wrong for confronting him.

The only way to figure out if you had it a long time is to get tested. If there are many antibodies, then you have had it a long time.

However, what does blame do? It still does not satisfy the hurt and shock of having the virus. I blamed my girlfriend for giving me herpes, mainly because she cheated on me and then symptoms started two weeks later. But what did that do for me? Nothing. It did not satisfy my mind at all.

I know that it hurts, and hurts so deeply for you. I wish that it did not happen.

You will get better though. Believe that fact. People are here to listen and to give you a hand if you want it.

Best Regards

Answer:
Hang in there, Lizzy. I'm glad you reached out for support.

am i wrong in accusing him of being the carrier and giving it to me? I have never had a problem till now. Could I be wrong? I am so confused and hurt and so many things.
thanks Have you ever received oral sex from anyone? That is the other common way of contracting genital herpes. If not, then the chances you got it from him are extraordinarily high.

Answer:
am i wrong in accusing him of being the carrier and giving it to me? I have never had a problem till now. Could I be wrong? I am so confused and hurt and so many things.
thanks My first reaction was "Oh, that rotten bastard!!" When I found out I had it a week after intercourse with my bf for the first time, but come to find out (blood tests) I'd had it for a good long time. In my case, it has to have been over a year because it had been that long since the last time I'd had intercourse. My advise to you would be, do your best to try to reason around the blame you want to place and try to find a non-accusatory way to tell your bf. I just laid it out in a very matter of fact way. There's nothing else for it.