Question:
Hello,

I am 20 yrs old and currently a student. So I recently had intercourse with a previous partner and a couple of days afterwards I was really sore and it burned when i used the bathroom. I have been tested before and had no STD's and have only been with this one person since being tested. I went to the doctor today and she gave me an exam because i was scared and wanted to know what exactly i was dealing with. She said i had a small ulcer downstairs and that is what causes it to hurt when i pee. I am waiting to hear back on my culture and to see if additional blood work is necessary.
I am soo scared, I don't want this and i'm usually careful. we used a condom, so I'm not sure how exactly i got it. if i do.
Most of all, I have this guy friend who we've been flirting off and on and now we are really starting to hang out more and getting closer and perfect timing ... I get this! wonderful.
I have no way of telling him, i'm scared and i'm ashamed.

I also can't afford all of this doctor's visits and medication so therefore I can't keep it hidden from my father. I broke down and called my mom (divorced) and she is supportive. I am close to my family (grandparents, aunts, uncles cousins etc). They all look up to me and how are they supposed to now when i have this disease? I feel like such a dissapointment. I'm afraid they will all treat me differently or shun me.
That is not what I want.
Then the guy i like.... I really like and don't want him to look at me differently either or never be with me.
I feel like I can have no life, never get married or have trouble finding someone willing to deal with this with me.

I also don't know how to bring it up to the guy I think I got it from. Not sure if he knows he has it or not, but if he knows and still had sex with me I am going to go crazzy.

Any advice is greatly appreciated and any diets or nutritional plans are welcome too!
I was just started on a 10 prescription of Valtrex.
Do they make smaller pills? geezz.. horse pills!

Answer:
I know this is really difficult to deal with. I too was recently diagnosed and am having a hard time. Its good you have someone that will support you. Remember that none of us have asked or deserved for this to happen to us. I too was careful and unfortunately this virus can get you even when you are careful. You are still the same person you have always been this disease will not change that. It will change the way you deal with intimate relationships and sex, but not who the core of your being is.

Answer:
I understand that you're close to your extended family, but really, there's not one single reason why you have to tell EVERYONE. Would anyone benefit from knowing? No. Would it serve any real purpose? No. You're an adult, and it's up to you whether you care to divulge the details of your medical issues or not. So keep it to yourself, if that's what you prefer. That's your privelege.

You should tell your previous lover, if your test comes back positive. He may not know he's a carrier, and so he should be tested, too. And as for your new friend, before things get physical, he'll have to be told as well. It may be that this won't be as big an issue to him as you fear, but he deserves to make that decision for himself.

You're going to be okay. Give yourself some time to adjust and you'll find that the fear dissipates. You will have romance in your life, you'll get married if that's what you want, and live a normal life in spite of this. I promise.

Answer:
Thanks everyone!
I know my life will go on but its hard to deal with.
Right now I just can't see myself ever meeting someone who is willing to take the chance of catching it.
I was at a party with good friends and I had fun but i kept constantly wondering if I was the only person there with that. I felt like everyone was staring at me like they knew about it.

But once I get my results back, based on the test results i will tell my previous partner.

I know I don't have to tell my family, but most of all i'm worried about telling my dad.
I usually never mess up really bad and this one mistake is a huge life change, so i'm worried!

Answer:
If the only reason you're considering telling your dad is because he'll need to know to pay for medication, it's possible to combat herpes without medication. A number of us are doing just that. If your outbreaks aren't that bad, you might consider your other choices. There are lots of threads here and the links on the left to get you started.

Answer:
I was 20 when I was diagnosed, so I know how you feel as a young chic. What you could have sounds like a bacterial infection, I had a similar symptoms but for me I came back positive for the bacterial infection and GH. But of course I am not a dr, and it could be something else. Bacterial infection is curable with antibiotics. As for costs...I go to planned parenthood, for testing...exams... and everything! In my opinion it is the best clinic!! Very affordable costs, they go by your income. Your parents are not notified, even if you were under 18 which you are not. Also, if you need meds for an outbreak, if it turns out you are positive, you can start with Zovirax or the generic version, which cost me about $6 or $7 dollars and I had forgotten my perscription card, so that is the cost without having a perscription plan (insurance). Vitamin C and other herbals are worth looking into. Also, if you test positive, it seems like the end of the world at first, but as time goes past you will realize it isn't at all. If you need sometime to talk to feel free to send me a message or if you have any more questions.

Answer:
please know that if you were tested for stds in the past, then you were most likely NOT checked for herpes ever, unless you specifically requested the test and they took blood specifically and tested it for herpes antibodies. Probably not what you want to hear because most people are shocked to find this out....but just a heads up.....check your old records and if you were ever actually tested for herpes in the past then there will be a record of it.......just before you go blaming the guy 100%....he might not even have it and then that would be a whole nother can of worms you might open (just some advice, since you are in college....not exactly something you want to advertise if it is herpes and this way you can be sure you were tested before for herpes specifically and didnt have it,...then you will know it was contracted since that testing back then) if not, then it is very possible you had it before.....most people have no clue they have it and many times the people who give it to them have no clue either that they are carrying it....its so confusing. Hopefully things get sorted out, but either way, make sure to check and see your past records and if herpes was tested for, as it is the only way to be sure you didnt have this before and just never got symptoms till now. Dont lose hope....either way, we are here for you and you are not alone, though it can sometimes feel that way.

Answer:
how is it that when i was tested in the past for std's that I wouldn't have been tested for herpes?
they did swab's (orally and vaginal) and then did bloodwork, so wouldn't they test for all std's.. isn't that the point of getting tested.
I will look at my old records and check to see, but you would think if you went to get tested they would test for everything otherwise what's the point in going?

Answer:
EXACTLY! If it's so prevalent, why don't they test for it every time? I get tested for STDs every year (and make my partners get tested), but never knew that they didn't test for herpes. I actually had my first outbreak about two days after an STD test that came back clean!