Question:
About two years ago, I got 2 painless and itchless rashes/scraps that healed on the shaft of my penis. I realized I had them about 12 hours after a single oral sex session. I also noticed one of the veins down there was bigger then normal for about a day or so. This might have been my imagination though, it was a long time ago. Fearing the worst i went down to planned parenthood to get tested. The woman said she was sure it wasn't herpes and said the girl was probably just a little rough (She Was). She also said i had really dry skin and that was the main problem. Well i was relived until a few weeks ago i started searching online and realized these doctors don't know everything. The woman did not recommend a blood test because she said Type 1 was very common (over 75% of people have) and it would not tell us anything because my sores don't look like herpes, I could have gotten the antibodies from anyone i have kissed even if i didn't have sores. Should i look into this further or am i being overly worried? Getting a blood test wouldn't help anything. Even if i were positive for type 1. I have had no symptoms or anything out of the ordinary for over 2 years. I have also gotten a few bumps and sours on my mouth over the years that might have been coldsores possibly??? According to everything i have seen, there is a 60%+ chance i would have popped positive on a blood test when i was a virgin, it doesn't tell you where i am infected. The scraps were checked out by a doctor and did not look even close to any of the pictures i have seen. I understand outbreaks very though. They looked exactly like something scraped against my penis. And i think seeing such developed symptoms in 14 hours is not common. They never grew bigger or anything just healed.

It was so long ago its funny to get worked up about it now.....

Also even if i have herpes type 1, 80% of people have this and nobody i have been with has ever disclosed this..... why should i feel the need to talk about this if it something the vast majority of people have. This is the main reason i don't want to get tested, if most people have it i really don't want to know. The blood test probably isn't clinically recommended for everyone for a reason.....

I also have a very limited number of partners.

By the way i have done everything possible to instigate a outbreak, i was deployed to iraq twice and was exposed to high levels of Sun, Unhealthy Food, Stress and lack of hygiene for months on end and no outbreak.

What do you think? Testing is not going to help me either way unless i pop for type 2 which i really doubt I have. With no symptom's for over two years do you guys think i can finally put this to bed without further testing?

Answer:
This is obviously playing on your mind, so my opinion is, it would be good for you to find out for sure and put this puppy to bed. However, a blood test will tell you what you have (if anything) but not where you have it. If you tested positive for type 1, it would not tell you whether it was oral or genital. You say you've gotten occassional sores in your mouth. Herpes? Possible. The symptoms you describe that appeared on your penis aren't classic herpes symptoms, and I'm inclined to agree with the dr that it may have been abrasions from rough oral. That's not to say it's impossible it was a herpes ob, but unlikely. It's been my experience, though, and the experience of many others on this forum, that drs in general are woefully ignorant on the subject of herpes. That's one of the reasons I would recommend a test.

And your attitude that since the majority of people have it and don't mention it, so why should you care, is the main reason so many people have it in the first place. Just because someone else acts irresponsibly, that doesn't give you the privilege of doing the same. If the spread of herpes is ever going to be gotten under control, it has to start with people taking responsiblity for their actions. If you happen to test positive, that responsibilty falls on you. And if you have any suspicions that you may be infected, avoiding the issue out of ignorance by not being tested is not an excuse.

Answer:
Thanks very much for you reply, i have decided not to get tested and to trust my doctor as long as there are no further symptoms. I have gotten a whole new perspective though about the herpes virus within the last few weeks. But i do disagree with you about felling the need to tell your parter you have HVS Type 1 if you have it orally or no symptoms at all. Some could even argue why you would not need to tell anyone if you had Type 1 genitally.

I think we are all in agreement about the mass populations being ignorant about the virus. There is probably a reason for this, Its nothing to be worried about. Exposure to Type 1 has been proven to effect 80%-90% of the population after adulthood (Age of 18 ). that mean out of the 5 people I have been in a relationship 4 of them have been exposed and put me at risk unknowingly through oral sex and kissing. Now i would have been put in the same amount of risk if they had it genitally, actually i would have been at less of a risk because you usually kiss your girlfriends more the you have sex with them. So wouldn't you actually prefer your parter to have it genitally vice orally? They would escape the embarrassment of having unclothed visible sours, right? In a healthy relationship there is the same risk of transmission regardless of where the site of the infections is. As long as oral sex, sex, and kissing are all apart of a normal sex life, unfortunately herpes will be as well. Its best not to think about it since the majority of us don't even get physical symptoms when infected. This is supported by Herpes Blood tests NOT being recommend as apart of a routine STD screening. I think everyone understands that there are risks involved in sex, and i wouldn't expect my partner to tell the the scientific probability of passing a incredibly common virus to me, especially when i probably already have it.

When you get to wrapped up in this you seem to build your self in a "herpes prison" and it is seems it is often reinforced by this forum. Your type one sufferers seem to choose to where this badge of shame and feel guilty about it. But in all actuality this forum should have over 5 Billion members worldwide.

Unfortunately, i believe type 2 is a different story. I know its unfair but type 2 has been used as a tool to scare the masses away from premarital sex for generation generating the social stigma it has today. I would feel guilty not telling my partner if i knew i had this, its common but not nearly as common as type 1 and it is a different virus regardless of them being almost identical. It also generates far worst outbreaks, although I think we can all agree that the worst symptom of this virus the the social stigma attached to it as well as the fear of having "the talk" with every you plan on sleeping with.

Unfortunately i don't think society is going to change anytime soon and there are far more important things to worry about then herpes. Do i have herpes? Statistically, more then likely. Do i really want to know if i have antibodies in my blood? Fuck No. Do you really think all my future partners are going to want to hear about this? No i would sound like i have OCD, If they were interested they or I could look it up on their own, its so prevalent its not just me that has it, its just about everyone. One question you will never hear me ask a future partner will be "Do you have Herpes"

In the end it comes down to this, If you can beat em, join em. Its seems many of you choose to be deviates.

This is just my point of view, not trying to offend anyone....... I truly wish all of you the best and respect you senior members for the information they provide. Even though, ultimately i think this forum has contributed to the problem, people should trust their doctors.

Good luck with all your future struggles. And type 1 sufferers i encourage you to move on. (But Im not a doctor and that isn't worth much)

I have read all the information available, and made my decision not to get tested for the above issue and i do not believe i am being reckless in doing so.

Answer:
You're going to do what you want to do, regardless of what anyone here says, but speaking as one who has GHSV, I can tell you that your attitude is careless and irresponsible. And if you think your future partners wouldn't want to know ahead of time that you carried the virus (if you found out that you do), you're just plain wrong. But you'll find that out yourself if you happen to pass it on to someone in the future because you decided it wasn't important.

Answer:
There is a 7 out of 10 chance anyone i meet will have Type 1 antibodies? I do not believe i am being careless, I immediately went to a doctor who determined i do not have sours caused by herpes. I asked if there was a blood test she can give me or something to be sure and she said she was positive the scrapes didn't look like herpes, and she did not recommend the blood test for the reason stated above, which seemed logical.

I also have no "attitude" towards herpes. Its purely facts. If I'm proven wrong for a valid reason i will get tested tomorrow. For the the vast majority of us having herpes, herpes isn't the problem, its KNOWING you have herpes that is the problem. This virus effects everyone. So what do you suppose the world does? We can wrap ourselves in plastic bags at birth and not let our grandmothers kiss out children without a type specific western blot test? How about i go up to everyone i see on the street today and inform them that they have a 80% chance of having herpes and need to be tested immediately? They have all been at risk right?

Hypothetically, would you have your mother\grandmother blood tested for herpes before you let her kiss your baby? This is what you are proposing? Do we really want to know that most of us have a virus in us before we are sexually active and you can give your partner genital herpes by oral sex?

A 15 year old girls comes on this forum complaining about a cold sore on her mouth? Are you guys really going to tell her that she must inform all of her future partners in-depth about the risks associated with the virus. Try explaining to her she will never be able to kiss another guy without a 4 hours science class. Its just so unfair...

How about saying this "Its nothing at all just looks like a coldsour sweetie, everyone gets them, it will clear up"

This sound like something a doctor would say about herpes? The type that has no idea what he is talking about, right? Maybe he is doing what is best for his patient after all.

If extremists on this forum were doctors the child would be in tears, have to live with the feeling she was different, and couldn't have any sexual contact without informing her partners of the risk. They would test the whole family, possibly causing more devastation. This is something some people are just fucking better of not knowing about.

You speak of controlling the virus? you must see how absurd this thought really is. Unless there is a vaccine, which will unquestionably be here within the next few hundred years, this virus will never be contained. Even if we educated everyone and put an endless amount of money into prevention the virus spreads far to easily to ever be contained. It has been here since man has been on earth. But who cares there are far more important diseases to worry about....

Again, not try to argue with you just debate. I fully respect you opinion, but can you at least see some validity in my point of view?

You took the time to answer my initial question and i really appreciate it. And you are correct, i would be absolutely devastated if i gave someone i love visible, typical herpes symptoms.

Answer:
The guy i got this from never experienced cold sores as far as i can tell. He was probably one of the ones who got it from his mother or grandmother. Sure, he may agree with you about not telling, and blowing this out of proportion.

Because we had oral sex ONCE (and not even intercourse!) I now have monthly outbreaks that are fairly painful and definitely annoying. I run the risk of transmitting this to my child, who can in turn transmit this to her friends or boyfriends, and eventually someone will end up getting PISSED that she did (much like i'm pissed at the guy who gave this to me). Not everyone gets this and just doesn't get outbreaks. Most of us are here because we get FREQUENT and often PAINFUL outbreaks. The next time you sleep with someone or perform oral sex on someone who ends up with these horrible, frequent, painful rashes and has to reduce themselves to daily medications to control the symptoms, i'm guessing you'll end up singing a different tune. Or maybe you wont - maybe you won't care about the suffering you've caused another person, because for you it's "no big deal".

Can you see at all where WE'RE coming from?

Answer:
honestly i cant, are you really expecting 80% of your partners to fully disclose this to you? If you really wanted to know this was possible it is more of a personal responsibility to find out for yourself. Chances are if you knew everything back then I bet you would have made the same decision anyways and wound up with the same virus.

I BTW i have no reason to think i have herpes. I just am refusing to get blood work done as my qualified DOCTOR has recommended. Even if i was positive for HVS type 1 it wouldn't help me, i would have no idea where i was infected as i have never seen any confirming signs of herpes genitally or orally. So you are not just arguing with me you are arguing with the so called careless and reckless untested demons that comprise 80% of the world population. If someone did not tell me they had type 1 herpes and i developed symptoms i would understand now that its just the risk you take when having sex (WITH ANYONE) these days.

The only way to avoid this virus is to refrain from all displays of effection until you can confirm they are clean by a western blot test. No kissing, hugging with exposed skin or any type of sex. Does this sound realistic? Do you really think everyone should live life like this? This sounds like a case of OCD to me

If you had a child are you going to kiss him? He is obviously not old enough to make the decision for himself yet? This is just something everybody has! I am sorry you developed symptoms, but lets face it, thats not the norm or this forum would have far more members and genital sores would be looked at in the same light as cold sores as you would find herpes outbreaks were just as normal as you period.

Answer:
justwondering123- If you don't believe in disclosure okay no big deal for you but it is a two way street.

The average person who doesn't get themselves periodically checked for sti's is also the person who is in denial of real infections they may have contracted and they are most likely the ones who tell partners they are "clean".

The irony is that if I don't disclose my health status then I give up the opportunity for you to possibly discuss yours and I give you the message that I don't care about either of our health. Since we both have little self respect by not requiring disclosure from partners we both are bound to come across someone who has something.

The worst being that they have HIV and you contract it and don't get tested and share the "Love".

So no there is no reason to get tested and worry about it if that is your way of approaching the world but if you care about your health and the health of a partner you may actually "fall in love with" you may want to re think the implications.

Answer:
When i am sexually active i am fully screened by for every STD except for herpes and HPV.

So what are you suggesting i do?

Get a blood test against my doctors recommendation?

If i am positive with type 1 (4 in 5) you suggest i tell every partner i have that, I MAY (these tests are not 100%) have this infectious disease. That i have know idea how i contracted it and no idea how i can spread it. I may have it orally, ocularly, anywhere on my skin and on my genitals. Chances are you also have this infectious disease and are spreading it to everyone kiss or have any type of sexual contact with. You should probably inform all you past partners that they could have this as well. Make sure you send them all, including yourself, to a doctor but he really doesn't know what he is talking about so you have to insist on getting a herpes select blood test despite whatever he recommends. In the mean time they need to refrain from all sexual contact.

The irony is that if you are recommending i do this you also must recommend the following

-Every teenage girl needs to get tested before they are sexually active

-Mothers infected (80%) will never be able to kiss (or touch) their children in fear of infection.

-Prevention by having you child tested yearly, as well as all other members of your family. If they happen to catch it by kissing their girlfriend in kindergarden they you must fully inform them about how they have herpes and will never lead a completely normal sexual life and instruct him to inform every girl about this that he plans on kissing in high school?

you are simply a hypocrite, If you think i need to disclose asymptomatic herpes type 1 infection and would not do all of the above to you own children.

If i'm positive for type 2 (1 in 5) live with the fact that i have no idea where i am infected and tell all future partners everything there is to know about herpes. I agree you need to tell your partner about this one before any sexual contact. But would i need to tell them before i kiss them??? I dunno, 40% of colds sores are caused by type 2.

Honestly, after reading so much about this it will inevitably be discussed in a future relationship at some point. And unless she asked about it, i wouldn't get her all worked up about it, as i did when i thought i had it. Also since chances are she has never gotten a blood test for herpes, we are both putting each other at the same risk anyways. The type of person that knows for sure that they don't have herpes in any form is that type of person that will ask me if I have been tested or not. And I will be completely honest.

It is not my job nor responsibility to inform the public about this virus.