Question:
I was diagnosed with genital herpes 2 days ago and I have been trying to gather as much information as I can. I understand that people live fairly normal lives with herpes but I am just feeling hopeless right now. I am single and look forward to having a family someday. I just don't know how I will be able to have a family and find someone to stay around once I tell them I have herpes. I feel dirty and gross and I am not really sure how to deal with these feelings. It is lifelong and incurable... how do I accept that? I hope there are people here that are learning to cope and maybe you can help me deal with this. I am pretty scared. Thanks!

Answer:
You've only had 2 days to adjust to this new little intrusion in your life. You're off balance emotionally and physically, and feeling overwhelmed. That's normal. It takes time to come to terms with herpes, and learn to accept it as just another part of life, and in time, you will.

The natural reaction when you're first diagnosed is to panic. Everyone does. All of a sudden, the life you envisioned for yourself seems to evaporate before your eyes, and your vision of the future turns bleak and hopeless. We've all been through it, and I can tell you that it's just not so. Easy for me to say, but not so easy for you believe just now, right? I know. But your future hasn't changed significantly unless you allow it to. All the things you dreamed of are still within your reach. Herpes doesn't change that.

You'll find someone who loves you for who you are, not what baggage you carry, have kids if that's what you want, and your life will play itself out just as normally as everyone else's. That's not to say there won't be good days and bad, but that's just part of living. Like Gilda Radner said when she was diagnosed with cancer... "It's always something." The cancer killed her, but you're going to survive and thrive. Count your blessings.

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is just to try to relax. The sky hasn't really fallen, it just seems that way. Don't start worrying about the future until you've dealt with today. Give yourself a chance to regain your balance, and you'll see that things could be worse, and life goes on in spite of herpes. And your life will be just as normal and fulfilling as you make up your mind it's going to be.

Answer:
I know how you must be feeling .. I was diagnosed this week.. its just now setting it.. I walked around in a daze for days, could think nothing else but doing research and wondering how this could happen to me.. feeling the shower water was hott enough for me to wash this dirtyness from my body (if that makes any sense) .. Im finally learning slowly to accept it .. and it has shown me to start living life!!!...

I used to be afraid of doing things in life for fear of something bad happening to me .. well guess what it did..

Im just thankful that its not life threatening and this has taught me a good lesson bc I wonder what would of happened if I accidentially had unprotected sex again and got AIDs or something else..

I hope that you try to look on the bright side of things.. and I want a family too one day.. I heard that I can still have children that wont have this and hopefully I will find someone that has it or understands that I have it.

and im from texas too!!! take care

Answer:
don't you feel dirty for yourself. as for me, i was only diagnosed yesterday and i really couldn't think how i got this. i have always been faithful and loyal to my bf. i never have any sexual contact with others. also, my bf said to me that he never had any sexual contact with others. i am thinking that i could posibly get this from somewhere. not sexually.. but my gyne is insisting that it could either be one of us have sexual contact outside the relationship. it hurts to think that if my partner never really have contact with others (as i believe), i am afraid that he is now thinking that i became unfaithful before.

all the waries.. negative thoughts.. i feel really bad too..

i am thinking what my partner is thinking and is really afraid what will happen to our relationship.

it is really a tough time.. and i hope, that i could then cope with it. my gyne said that herpes could be treated, but i am worried as i read in net that there is no cure for this.

just dont loose hope. i am still looking forward that me and my partner will surpass this stage and that we'll eventually get married and have children. like the normal..

Answer:
Vanillamist - please keep in mind that doctors don't always know what they're talking about. My doctor told me i could ONLY contract genital herpes from intercourse and she was wrong - i got it from oral sex, and it is fairly common to get it this way. Also, you may want to have your boyfriend tested. It's possible one of you has had this since childhood, in which case there wasn't necessarily any infidelity.

As for medication, there ARE antivirals which are supposed to help with outbreaks and reduce shedding, but they also have fairly serious side effects. Please do your research before you let your doctor put you on a medical regimen. There are a number of us here who have found less-invasive, more natural ways of controling our outbreaks.

Please refer to the links on the left - especially if you're just getting used to this, they will give you lots of good information to point you in the right direction.

Answer:
Hey guys,
Thanks so much for the encouragement, and I am so sorry there are so many of us out there. I am doing much better. There are tons of people out there with it. It won't kill me and it won't kill you either. I just though i would say some good things that have come out of it for me...
1. I will be much more careful next time I have sex.. it will be with someone I love and I know they will love me.
2. No one will ever take me to bed and run again... they will have to think twice.
3. I will know when someone really loves me if they accept me with this.
4. I have made lots of new friends, people that have this in my area, and I know I wouldn't have met them without this happening... they are all great people

So maybe this will help someone else. It takes time to adjust to something like this but it is not the end of the world. Don't worry it gets easier.

Answer:
Three years ago before my husband and I were married, he cheated on me. Now we just found out that we have herpes, from all the way back when he cheated. It took alot to forgive him after he cheated and now I have this constant reminder that will haunt us for the rest of our lives. I am so depressed. I lost 6 pounds this week alone, thats just how depressed I am. I know he feels really bad, but how can he understand how I feel?
I say the word herpes and my skin crawls and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life.
Someone, please tell me if I will ever get over this feeling that I have of wanting to give up on life