Question:
I was just diagnosed with genital herpes...I am still waiting for my blood test results to see which type I have. To my knowledge, this is my first outbreak, and it occured about 1 month after I began seeing my current partner. I found out the day after he left the state for the holidays. I am DEFINATELY going to tell him, but I want to wait until I can talk in person with him....in part because my dr. said it is most likely he who gave it to me. There have been times when after significant clothes-on foreplay that he only wanted to go to bed and not have sex. He is 23 and we would have sex only every week or two, which is NOT typical of most guys I know our age. He was also EXTREMELY cautious about using protection...he had a nightstand on either side of the bed and kept condoms in both. Now I know it's possible he didn't give it to me, and those are just coincidences, but I would prefer to talk to him in person to see his reaction. Am I being selfish in doing this? Another reason is that if I were him, I would prefer to find out after the holidays so that I could enjoy them without worrying about whether or not I had herpes. The day after I found out, I barely slept or ate and couldn't focus on work. PLEASE give me your honest opinion...I just want to do the right thing here.

Answer:
I think that's very considerate of you. As far as his behavior while it sounds like it, I don't know him so I can't say that's what it is. What I can say is that, you should definitely have the talk with him. If he admits that he has it and willingly passed it to you without giving you the option to decide if he's worth the risk, I'd think twice about whether or not I'd want to be with him. I don't care how cautious he thought he was being, he should've known better. The flip side is unless you've been tested recently you don't know if in fact you already had this. It's not on the typical std panel so chances are you weren't tested. But I wouldn't let him know this, see if he confesses. If you test positive on the blood test then you've most likely had this for at least 3 months because that how long it usually takes to build antibodies for it. The first ob is usually the worse so if you've only noticed the symptoms then it does seem like its new. However, that's the lovely thing about herpes unless tested you'll never know unless your current bf confesses to giving it to you.

Answer:
Thanks, that sounds like a good idea to see if he confesses. Also, my blood test results are in and I tested negative for HSV2, positive for HSV1. So it's possible that he has cold sores and passed it to me during oral sex, since I have NEVER had a coldsore. Or it is possible that it is actually HSV2 that caused my primary outbreak and it's just not showing up since I don't have the antibodies yet. Though my outbreak was SO mild (like 2 or 3 bumps, not very painful) it seems consistant with the fact that I would have genital HSV1. According to my doctor that results in outbreaks that are MUCH milder than those caused by HSV2, and don't recurr as often. Either way, I'm just going to bring this up and see what he confesses to, if anything. I'm def. going to give him the benefit of the doubt until I know for sure. Thanks for the advice!

Answer:
I've got to say I think your instincts about him are probably right.

That would be abnormal for ANY age.

And I think you're doing the right the thing by talking to him face to face - because I think he's got a lot of explaining to do.

I wish you luck.

Answer:
Hell yea you got that guy red handed. I am 22 and there isn't a cold day in hell when I am ever like that. psh. Good luck with that. I would also consider your relationship because if he did not care to tell you in the first place then you don't really need him do you? Just my 2 cents.