Question:
hello...i was newly diagnosed with HSV 1 in mid september. i've looked at lots of stuff on the web and i guess i'm still kind of confused with how i got it. i know who gave it to me, but the transmission confuses me. anyway, i know that he had HSV 1 cold sores, but as much as we kissed i never got HSV 1 in my mouth. we think that either it was through oral sex or perhaps using saliva as a lubricant?...supposedly he didn't have HSV 1 on the genitals but who really knows?...all he said was that he had never seen anything like what was on the internet on his penis:( so anyway, he also seemed very nonchalant about me contracting herpes...after i contracted herpes we had sex without protection while i had an outbreak and he knew it which didn't bother him, which kind of makes me suspicious, but we were also engaged. upon getting my initial outbreak i asked him if he was going to break up with me and he said he didn't care (as in it didn't bug him at all) if i had herpes and he wouldn't break up with me, but he didn't request that we use any sort of protection to protect him. he is an older guy-45-but i kind of thought someone who didn't have genital herpes would want to protect themselves and not act so nonchalant? to my knowledge he hasn't had any outbreak. anyway, we have already broken up over other issues and so i guess what i'm really asking is if i got it on my genitals and it was passed (supposedly) orally why didn't i get it in my mouth? i thought HSV 1 loved the mouth? we never kissed or had oral sex when he had a cold sore and he was not on any kind of suppressent like valtrex, though he sure knew how much it cost when i had to get a prescription.

one thing that i have also been suprised about is how the nurse acted at my gyn's office when i went in with the blisters. she acted like genital herpes was totally no big deal. she told me that i would be hard pressed to go through life to not get it orally or on the genitals because it is so contagious. she handed me all the valtrex info and was ready to send me on my merry way and i was just totally sobbing and crying. she didn't even give me a bag to put the info in and i had to ask her for one...privacy you know? she also said that every 3rd and 4th patient that comes in each day to the office has office and about 50% of the people in the office have herpes.

anyway, besides this i guess the other questions that i have are about dating and having to have the talk with a new partner, which i will post in that forum...thanks for listening.

Answer:
I think it's safe to say through his behaviour that he had known he had it all along.

Who would willingly sleep with someone knowing they were inected if they themselves didn't know it to be true they were as well.

He did give this to you- I think that's a given.

Answer:
I agree that his response was kind of "odd"...the only way you would have known for sure if he had it was to have him take a blood test...

It sounds to me like he possibly transmitted oral herpes (HSV-1) to your genitals via oral sex...it is HIGHLY POSSIBLE to transmit it and not even know he was having an ob...that is the sad part....that is exactly what happened in my case...except I was on the "giving" end...the last cold sore I have ever had surface was about 5 years ago..I've had them since I was a kid...but I ended up giving my partner genital herpes from it..so he now has HSV-1 on his penis. I did not have a cold-sore..just felt tired and runned down..headachy..I thought I was getting a sinus infection..which I get once a month or so..and now I am finding out that it's the "prodonol symptoms" especially right before my period comes...

So I think that's probably how you got it..from him. Now I've also read on this site that it's not likely (but very possible I'm sure) to get both...oral and genital..he may have heard that and wasn't too worried thinking he couldn't get it in both places...don't know..

Take care of yourself.