Question:
I got herpes 10 years ago. I was in total shock and had noone to talk to about it. I was in denial, but asked my boyfriend at the time about it and he said, "yeah, well sometimes I get a red sore on my dick but it goes away. no big deal". Well, ten years later it's still a big deal to me and my current boyfriend. I've been very safe with him and he knew about it from the beginning, but now I think I gave it to him but he won't go to the doctor to check it out. He's the one in denial now and I don't know what to do because I want to move on and come to terms with the fact that I may have given it to the first person I have ever really loved. I feel like total shit and the stress is causing me to have more outbreaks. I don't know how to finally get him to go. I told him that I had to do it too and it sucked for me then.

I also wanted to tell you all that there are ways to deal with it, even though it really sucks. A doctor once told me that soap totally makes the virus go away if it's on your hands, so just make sure you always wash your hands after you pee and also put soap on the faucet handles. That way your roomates won't touch it and then rub there eye...which is another very awful and actually much more dangerous place to get the virus. Also look up Herpes diets online. It really helps to avoid nuts and coffee and all that they say...for me at least.

Answer:
hey there.. i am in that stage right now. i dont think it happened to me and i dont want to check it out. im not even sure cause it doesnt even look like these pictures they have on the web of herpes. mine is like a small pimple.. but no puss or anything. how do you cope with this? how does anyone accept you? im afraid ill be alone for the rest of my life. can you tell me some more helpful things i should look out for? like the soap and the diet? id appreciate it.. i havent gotten the nerve to go to the doctors office yet...

Answer:
You just have to go to the doctor and find out for sure. I just read stuff on this site, http://herpesnomore.southpawpress.co...html#Important

It was very helpful. I don't have health insurance right now, so I need to use other methods than Valtrex. They say on here to dab it with red wine and that will help. My doctor also recommended getting a container of Tucks medicated pads. They are for Hemmeroids, but they are good for cleaning it and keeping it dry. Don't put lotion or take baths too much cuz that will make it last longer. He said to keep it dry. Use the Tucks and then even dry down there with a hair dryer. That will keep it more under control.

I just have to be honest with guys. Like say..."I have something you don't want to have" before you go to bed with someone. If you don't let people know up front and then you start to build a relationship with them it will just be harder to tell them later and they'll be pissed. It doesn't get easier per say, but you begin to realize that it's not the end of the world.

Answer:
it defenatly feels like the end of the world.. jeez. this is a horrible feeling. i feel yuckie and i cant even touch myself without being grossed out. i washed everything today.. man! keep it dry huh? that will be hard. not shower often? oh my .. this will be a hard life.. lol. i keep pretending like im normal..but when i joke about it i just feel worse so nevermind. :) im only 19.. bummer... grrrrr

Answer:
I know it's a terrible feeling. But they do go away and in between outbreaks there are things you can do to prevent another one like on the link I put in above. I got it when I was 20, so I know what you're feeling. Just don't forget that you are normal. I think this chat helps a lot to get your feelings out and realize that you aren't the only one. When you start researching it, you realize that 1 in 4 women have it. That's a lot! you can't let it define who you are as doom and gloom. It won't kill you and you are still the same person you were before you got it. It's just a big pain in the ass....literally.

Showering is ok, you have to shower and clean it. The Doctor just said not to sit in a bathtub soaking forever to relieve it. although it may feel good, it may make it stick around longer.

Answer:
ya ive read as much as i could in the last week.. i read that. that is scary to know. i know theres a lot of people who have it but i still feel abnormal. i know im not the only one cause my friend has it and hes been there for me ever since i thought i had it. i look at myself differently i cant help it. sa for the bathtub tip.. that sucks! i love soaking in there.. grrr.. that explains why mine has lasted this long.. i put lotion on there everyday almost after the shower. damn! i was thinking last night how there are so many people with this.. and they have been so helpful you know? in a way this is cool cause you feel like you belong somewhere.. i dont know if u understand.. but in another way its devestating. i dont know i just feel lost. one minute im cool with it and im walking around smiling and not thinking about it, the next im crying out of nowhere without even thinking about it. im going nuts.. :p

Answer:
I'm glad you have somebody else to talk to. None of my friends have it, so they don't understand. This forum is helping me a lot. I've kept it inside for a long time and this makes me feel a lot less isolated.

In the long run I think getting this out now will make it easier for people like you who just got it, to talk about it in the future. Just reading all these stories of how devestated everybody is makes me feel like I've come a long way with it. Don't get me wrong, of course I still hate it and if a Genie came along that would be the first wish I would make! But, if you can come to terms with it in time, sound educated and communicate proactively trying to prevent outbreaks, it will be easier to tell your future partners.

Answer:
3 of my friends now already.. the one i know will understand.. other than the people here. it feels good because 2 of them are willing to go with me to the hospital. i dont want to go alone thats why. people seem to be more understanding towards you if you have a problem. lol. i feel weird. when did you tell your parents? im not going to tell my mom. i know she wouldnt be different towards me she loves me and all.. i just dont want to dissapointher and i do think its something she should know cause me and her are almost like best friends.. but its not something she needs to know..not now at least. but if i do it later it might be worse. i dont know. i have to deal with it first .. get comfortable with it and then tell her? do your parents know? you are 30 or so now right? sorry if im being too personal with you..

Answer:
That's good to have a support group of friends, but I wouldn't tell a lot of people. It's your problem and you don't want it to get out to everybody. You should be the one to tell partners, not them hearing it thru anyone else. I told my mom about it after I got the results back. I'm a really bad liar and she asked me how my Dr. appointment went and I just started crying. She's a nurse so she was very understanding. She's really great and as time goes on it's easier to talk to her about relationships since she knows. I never did tell my dad. we just don't have that closeness.