Question:
Hi Guys, this is the first time I've actually talked about this with anyone. I've actually had hsv-2 for 13 years and to my knowledge, I've never given it to anyone. However, I had unprotected sex the other day with a guy that I really liked. Although I didn't have any actual blisters, I had some itching and tingling in one area and it has me worried to death that I may have infected him. There aren't any visible scars or blisters, it's just some itching and tingling. Is it possible to pass the disease on to someone else during this stage? I feel extremely horrible and I knew better, but since I didn't see anything there, I thought it would be safe. Please help me!!!

Answer:
There's no way for us to know...

I mean its possible you could have been shedding...

I guess I would say its not likely that you gave him hsv, but it is possible....

If he doesn't have an outbreak in the next week chances are he wasn't infected.

Answer:
I've read several posts about people knowing they have Herpes, having sex with someone and not telling. Justifying that it was OK because they "think" it was safe because no sores were present. THIS IS INEXCUSABLE! I don't care what your reasons are, you are playing Russan Roulette with someones life!

Bottom line is YOU MUST TELL HIM so he can get tested. This is not a guessing game - TELL HIM or he could spread it!!!!

Answer:
And, what do you mean you don't "think" you've ever given to anyone?? You've had it for 13 years and had sex with guys, there is a very good chance you have given it to someone. How can you not know other than by not telling them and not allowing them or giving them cause to get tested?? To your "knowlege" means you didn't tell them and they never got tested -

I just got it from someone about a week ago, and reading your post makes me want to lose my dinner...

Answer:
Guest 2,

It's possible that you could have been shedding especially if you had tingling and no sores. Shedding can happen at any time.....outbreak or not.

You didn't actually say in your post that you didn't tell him or the rest of your partners the last 13 years. If you didn't tell him before having sex with him it will eat you up. I know if I did something like that it would eat me up. Knowingly and not knowing are two different scenarios when it comes to herpes.

If you knowingly have it, knowingly don't tell, well all I can say that it's pretty bad.

I hope for you the integrity and courage to tell this guy that you like.

Lovely

Answer:
What were you thinking??? :shock: Herpes first: Just because he doesn't get symptoms within the next few weeks doesn't mean he's in the clear! Maybe you won't ever see him again and he'll carry on his life none the wiser and asymptomatic until he infects some other person! How do you think most of us wound up in this situation in the first place!!??

OK, now I've blown off steam let's look at the situation in a broader sense.
You were infected with herpes 13 years ago, you were lucky! What I mean is it could have been, say, chlaymidia which is cureable but it can leave you infertile if it isn't detected early-or-HIV which can be deadly! Please, herpes is a lifetime wake-up call, isn't that enough to stop you ever exposing yourself to STD's ever again? Your life is precious, in having unprotected sex with this guy you have played russian roulette with your life, not just his.

On the other hand, what was he thinking!!?? If any guy wanted to have unprotected sex with me it would show me how arrogant they really were and I'd give it a miss! Does he think he is immune to everything? He is as much responsible for this situation as you are so beating yourself up is not going to help. There is the chance that he is going to learn the lesson of his life as well and possibly in a round about and twisted kind of way you may just have done him a favor because if herpes is all he gets out of it he may think twice about putting his life (and that of others) at risk in the future.

See, there is a positive in everything! Now for you. You've learnt your lesson and the anguish you're suffering now at least shows you have a concience even if it kicked in a little late. You've had you're dressing down and now I hope that you have learned from this mistake. There are a lot of kind and caring people on this site so if you need help in dealing with having herpes and how to tell others, cope with emotion etc please don't be afraid to ask. We're all in this together and even 13 years later I'm sure you'll be offered the support you need.

It's time to start afresh.

Christi.

P.S. I know it makes a lot of people, me included, very disappointed to hear a tale like this and even though I'm not a very religious person I think a quote is fitting 'he who has never sinned may cast the first stone'. We can all learn from others mistakes as well as our own so let's forgive this one and continue to help as much as we can!

Answer:
What were you thinking??? :shock: Herpes first: Just because he doesn't get symptoms within the next few weeks doesn't mean he's in the clear! Maybe you won't ever see him again and he'll carry on his life none the wiser and asymptomatic until he infects some other person! How do you think most of us wound up in this situation in the first place!!??

OK, now I've blown off steam let's look at the situation in a broader sense.
You were infected with herpes 13 years ago, you were lucky! What I mean is it could have been, say, chlaymidia which is cureable but it can leave you infertile if it isn't detected early-or-HIV which can be deadly! Please, herpes is a lifetime wake-up call, isn't that enough to stop you ever exposing yourself to STD's ever again? Your life is precious, in having unprotected sex with this guy you have played russian roulette with your life, not just his.

On the other hand, what was he thinking!!?? If any guy wanted to have unprotected sex with me it would show me how arrogant they really were and I'd give it a miss! Does he think he is immune to everything? He is as much responsible for this situation as you are so beating yourself up is not going to help. There is the chance that he is going to learn the lesson of his life as well and possibly in a round about and twisted kind of way you may just have done him a favor because if herpes is all he gets out of it he may think twice about putting his life (and that of others) at risk in the future.

See, there is a positive in everything! Now for you. You've learnt your lesson and the anguish you're suffering now at least shows you have a concience even if it kicked in a little late. You've had you're dressing down and now I hope that you have learned from this mistake. There are a lot of kind and caring people on this site so if you need help in dealing with having herpes and how to tell others, cope with emotion etc please don't be afraid to ask. We're all in this together and even 13 years later I'm sure you'll be offered the support you need.

It's time to start afresh.

Christi.

P.S. I know it makes a lot of people, me included, very disappointed to hear a tale like this and even though I'm not a very religious person I think a quote is fitting 'he who has never sinned may cast the first stone'. We can all learn from others mistakes as well as our own so let's forgive this one and continue to help as much as we can!

Answer:
And, what do you mean you don't "think" you've ever given to anyone?? You've had it for 13 years and had sex with guys, there is a very good chance you have given it to someone. How can you not know other than by not telling them and not allowing them or giving them cause to get tested?? To your "knowlege" means you didn't tell them and they never got tested -

I just got it from someone about a week ago, and reading your post makes me want to lose my dinner...
Umm................hello? Not once did I ever say that I didn't tell my partner that I didn't have the disease. As a matter of fact, I've never had a partner that I DIDN'T tell! I've just never openly discussed the issue with people that I didn't know. I understand your frustrations because you've just contracted the disease a week ago, but that is no reason to go blowing up on people. And no, to my "knowledge" does NOT mean that I didn't tell them and they never got tested. ONE, I've only had two other sex partners since I contracted the disease and they were both long term relationships. I told both of them immediately, so, like I said, TO MY KNOWLEDGE, as of this day, I have never infected anyone and my previous two boyfriends and I had unprotected sex and they get tested for STDs, as well as HIV every 6-12 months and so do I. As for the person that I just had sex with, Yes, I did tell him and we did have unprotected sex. Stupid, perhaps, but it's done and we both have to live with that. Don't ever judge me based on your assumptions because you had no idea what you were talking about.

Answer:
Christi.

P.S. I know it makes a lot of people, me included, very disappointed to hear a tale like this and even though I'm not a very religious person I think a quote is fitting 'he who has never sinned may cast the first stone'. We can all learn from others mistakes as well as our own so let's forgive this one and continue to help as much as we can![/quote]

Christi,

I appreciate your post, and my intention was not to "disappoint" anyone. I'm disappointed enough in myself. However, my partner was well aware of my condition. He's been a friend of mine for years, actually. What happened with us was a mistake. We'd both had too much to drink and that was that.

I don't know who said it earlier, but someone mentioned that by having unprotected sex with my partner, I was playing Russian Roulette with his life and mine? I'm not the one to pass judgement on anyone because I've read several posts on here where people have made some bad choices. However, if none of us had ever played "Russian Roulette" then none of us would be on here right now. So, once again, before anyone decides to pass judement on others, think about what you're saying before you say it. It's obvious that others on here are already emotionally distraught or they wouldn't be here. Save the sarcasms and threats for another message board.