Question:
I know my boyfriend gave me HSV2, but he says he got tested for "everything" recently, and doesn't have it. I'm not satisfied with this, and want him to get the HerpeSelect test because it's the most accurate one, from what I read. I should call him my ex, because now that he knows I have it, and he's so sure he doesn't have it, he has basically headed for the hills. All I can do is tell him to get the right test next time he has a "spider bite" below the belt, so he won't infect someone else now.

Has anyone ever gotten a false negative result from the HerpeSelect test? I've offered to pay for the test if he'll take it.

Answer:
Well all of the bloodtests can give you a false negative result if you don't have enough antibodies to the virus built up. I would think that if the spiderbites are actually HSV2 and he's been having them for awhile then he most likely has enough antibodies to have an accurate test result.

Answer:
Yeah, I'm sure he has enough antibodies, as he's had at least 3
"spider bites" since I've known him. But obviously he's taken an unreliable test that for some reason doesn't give a positive result. Actually I'm not even sure he's been tested, because he just insists he gets tested for "everything" at once. I think out of embarrassment he's probably just telling his doc to check for "everything", and herpes is either not included, or it's one of the more unreliable tests. From what I read here, it seems there are people who constantly test negative, even though they're sure they have it.

I'm pretty baffled, and sad because this has caused our breakup. But I guess it's just as well. If it were a supportive and strong relationship, or even if it weren't and he wanted a new relationship and were a responsable man, he'd have done everything to really be sure of his status when I found out I had this. I'm trying to be philosophical. But I also want to be sure I'm right to suspect false negative results.

Answer:
It's possible that they didn't even check for HSV2 during his STD check. If you've been having unprotected sex during the 3 months or however long you've been together then I think there's a good chance he has it. You also have to have an open mind with this virus. I don't know your situation at all but it's possible that you could have given it to him also. Just because you had an outbreak while you were with him doesn't necessarily mean that he gave it to you. HSV2 can go undetected(no noticable symptoms) in the body for days/months/years.

Maybe just ask him nicely to get a good type-specific bloodtest. Don't accuse him of anything but nicely tell him that you're trying to narrow down who you could have gotten it from. Let him know that he's at risk of having it since you guys have been intimate. Admit that you could have possbly even given it to him (even if you know otherwise). He should agree if you aproach it like that. That's advise coming from a guy.

After he's taken the test but before he gets the results ask him to get a copy of the results or something. If he acts shady and refuses then he's hopeless. He'll most likely infect someone else wether he was positive or not. At this point give up and find a new man.

Answer:
I think I'll have to give up and find a new man, as you said. I did ask him to get tested, and he says he did. I have my doubts. And though I have an open mind, I can't forget the three times he has had a big scab in the same place, including the very first time we slept together two years ago when he told me it was just a spider bite. I didn't know then what I know now and I believed him, just as he believed himself. I don't think he lied. We always have protected sex, but as his lesions were on his upper groin, and I didn't know what they were, we had sex while he had them. I've even noticed a red bump in the same place when there was no scab. Just figured he had sensitive skin, as he always has something on his body, eczema, etc. I now figure the lesion matched up with the spot on my butt where I got the first OB, maybe just from "spooning" in our sleep. I get lots of scratches on the butt from my job (wearing clothes with labels or pins still in them).

But when I ask him to take a type-specific test, he simply says he trusts his doctor and if the test he took says he doesn't have it, then he doesn't have it. He won't ask the doctor what test it was, or show me the results. He hasn't been supportive. I'm basically on my own with this. It's sad, but he'll probably only be convinced when the next girl he meets gets a symptom. Or if the next time he gets a spider bite on the same spot, he remembers what I told him and wakes up. Who knows. I'm going to give him the name of the test so he'll have it, and stop waiting for him to call. (sniff!) But at least I'll have done my duty. Thanks so much for the supportive and diplomatic answers!

Answer:
hello, hope all is well...
know this...

people take what they think is a herpes test but it only checks for antibodies called IgM...these are the short term antibodies that a person can show during or around the outbreak. then these IgM antibodies disappear. The two best tests are HerpesSelect and Western Blot.

If its been 12 to 16 weeks since he may have been affected, the two tests mentioned should pick up the long term antibodies, or IgG. These antibodies take longer to develop and stay for good. Thus, if a person takes a test before the 12 to 16 weeks, and they aren't in the middle of an outbreak, they could read negative for IgM (short term) AND IgG (long term) and still be positive, thus the only true way to know is after four months.

Answer:
Thank you so much for that information. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get that information to him, because he's basically taken a powder since my diagnosis, but if I ever have the opportunity I'll do so. Maybe I'll just send a little note saying what you said, and hope for the best.

In any case, friends of mine who want to get tested (after they learned they haven't been being tested for it at all during their routine STD screenings, and how tricky it is to get a proper diagnosis even when you WANT to know) will be glad to have this information themselves!

Thanks again.

Answer:
If the tests don't reliably show results for many weeks, can a person with no symptoms still transmit the disease in the same time period?

Answer:
That's a good question. Maybe you should ask the national herpes hotline. They are very nice, and patient. (919)361-8488. Here's their website: http://www.ashastd.org/hotlines/herphotline.html

I'm thinking the answer is yes, but I'm not sure. Give them a call.