Question:
I just found out yesterday that I have herpes. :( I feel so alone because I do not want to tell any of my friends. I feel as though they wouldn't understand and think I am gross or something. This is the way I feel though. No one is going to want me now. I feel like I will never have a normal life again. The person who gave this to me doesn't even talk to me anymore. I need someone to talk to, someone who understands. I am sure all of you here do .. HELP!!!

Answer:
I am very sorry to hear you were diagnosed and having trouble dealing with it right now. It is up to you whether you want to tell your friends or not. I have not told one of my friends, only a boyfriend that I have since broke up with for unrelated reasons. I chose to tell him for the obvious reasons. As for not telling my friends, I feel like although I love them and trust them, they do not need to know. I am usually very upset during an OB, but I forget about H when it is over. And it is great to not have to talk about it or feel different than anyone else.

When I am watching TV with my friends and a commercial for Valtrex comes on I do not feel uncomfortable because they do not know I take it. I was watching a comedy show recently and the comedian made jokes about H [ clearly in bad taste ], and all I was thinking was that I'm glad I didn't have to feel singled out or pitied by my friends.

You may find all the support and understanding you need right here. You also may decide you want to tell your friends. I just would like to say it is nice for me to feel the same as everyone else when I am with my friends and not feel singled out or treated differently. Hang in there, time = acceptance :)

Answer:
Thanks Redford! Although I haven't received my tests back yet, when I went to my DR. she was postive it was and started me on valtrax which I just finished my last dose today. I get my test results back some time this week. I don't think my ob has gone away totally yet though. Is it surposed to go away after you finish taking your medicine? I feel like no one is going to want me now, as in be in a relationship with me. I belive I have had this for about a year or so b/c i had a place before that looked just like the one's now but I never did anything about it, it just went away and there was only one. I was in a relationship then and we broke up. I only had sex with one other person since which was recently and then H came about. So I'm confused on where it came from. I mean it could have come from either of them. They are both assholes! Not because of H just in general. I don't know what to do. I mean should I talk to both of them? If I do then they will just spread the word that I have H and then everyone will know :(

Answer:
I agree it is a difficult decision to make. I am not sure what I would do there either. I feel it is important to reduce transmission by discussing your diagnoses with your ex, but if it means them telling everyone that makes it harder on you.

I would feel confident that they would not say anything because they would be saying that they also have the virus, or potentially have the virus after being exposed to it. So if you tell them [ one or both of them] they will also want to hide it from people other than their partnener.

I guess I cannot tell you to NOT tell them at all, but decide what is best for you. Keep me updated on this :) and take care

Answer:
Thanks Redford I appreciate your concern!!I have told one of my good friends about my H. She lives in another town near me and I belive (or hope!! ) I can trust her with this and not spread the word. I am going to see her this weekend so we can talk and maybe she can help me with this decision. I'll let you know what happens. This is soooooo hard. I still am in shock that I have it. :( A lot of things are going through my mind and it sucks! I know I'm not the only one who has this but I still feel all alone sometimes. How long have you had H Redford?