Question:
i was just diagnosed 2weeks ago with H. I cant explain the feelings I have now. I am still in shock and disgust. I have thought about suicide and I feel as if the world is over. I never in a million years thought this would happen. I have not had many parterns. I feel :oops: :x :cry:
I met my boyfriend two years ago and I first noticed he had the cold sore. he told me he had it since he was a baby. he began having oral sex and we werent educated that it could be contracted that way. when he did have an outbreak i stayed very far away from him. I dont know how this could have happended. we never had oral sex when he had an outbreak.
last year i noticed a bump and my lymp nodes were swollen but we didnt think it was it because it wasnt a blister. then it came back and the dr, said it was. i am so devastated. my boyfriend is 100% supportive and he also cried when i began crying he wants to marry me regardless but sometimes i feel that resentment towards him because if he didint have it it wouldnt have happened then i think maybe it might have with someone else. i am also mad because i dont sleep around and there'e people who sleeps around so much and they dont have it. it's very emotional for me. i get especially nervous when i see the commerical for valtrex. i have already ruled out having kids because if the risk. please help me.

Answer:
Hi Gully,
the world is not over! the way you're feeling is totally understandable. and just about everyone here has been there... wondering how this could have happened... why me... I didn't sleep around!... feelings of guilt and disgust and self-loathing... and even thoughts of suicide. Listen, there are so much worse things out there than having Herpes. it really is managable. It's not worth ending your life over. NOTHING is...
it's completely understandable that this diagnosis can lead to depression. have you talked to your doctor about the depression you're feeling? He may be able to help you with that which will then help you to better deal with the diagnosis.
I think the feelings of resentment you have toward your boyfriend are somewhat to be expected. but remember, he didn't knowingly infect you. Neither of you were educated on how it could be transmitted. It sounds like he truly feels upset about this, and if he could change it I'm sure he would. And like you said, you could've gotten it from someone else. possibly even from someone who KNEW they were putting you at risk, but chose not to be honest with you. someone else on this site had referred to these people as "herpetrators".... I like that term, I think it's very fitting, because these people DO exist. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, has been with you for a while, and was ignorant on how it could be transmitted (which let's face it, most people are ignorant in the fact that coldsores and herpes are the same thing) That doesn't mean, however, that you need to feel like you have to stay with this guy out of fear of being rejected by someone else. Don't let Herpes make your choices for you. That applies to the possibility of having kids too, girl. 1 in 4 women have this... do you think they just don't have kids? you can always have a cesarian if there is a chance of transmission during birth. and as long as you already have it, when you DO get pregnant, you'll be passing the antibodies along to the baby which will help protect him. It's when a woman gets infected with the virus WHILE she's pregnant where there's a serious risk to the baby... at least when you already have it the doctor can be on the lookout for a higher risk and take appropriate action during the birth. So like I said, Don't let Herpes make your choices for you.