Question:
every day i wish i had done things differently. been more sensible.
i had a boyfriend of 2 1/2 years who was my first. losing my virginity to him was the best decision i ever made. he's shy, funny and nice to everyone. but we started having problems. which i wish i hadn't accepted as always being there and worked things out. he was really protective and jealous but i think that pot, drinking, peer pressure and school pressure had alot to do with it and the fact we were so serious so young (met at 15). he sad he loved me and i believed him but i didn't think that was enough to sustain a long term relationship that seemed to be going nowhere. so i said i wanted a break (not break up that sounded to hard to do because i always ended up forgiving him) and that i wouldn't cheat on him until we decided it was definately over. i was sick of a serious relationship though and i wanted to be single and flirt again. i was afraid that i'd never have sex with anyone else so i met 2 guys (which i didn't have sex with because they were in there 20's and i said i wasn't comfortable with) then i met two other guys my age and unfortunately decided i could have flings with because i liked them and they where young. but all these guys trying to be friendly to first not realising they wanted more until i picked up on it and thought why not i should be single and just have casual sex. what a bad idea. five months later i have herpes type 1 and i'll never know if it was if my boyfriend had a cold sore or my bad reputation! i asked the two i slept with who have pretty clean sexual records (only had sex with virgins) and only managed to ask one of the guys i messed around with (i don't think we had skin to skin contact) and he got tested and was fine. but in truth i will never know because there's still that other guy and god knows whos telling the truth but my boyfriend will never accept it could be him and i just can't seem to let go of the fact i did these things out of lust and my first boyfriend who still loves me (and has taken me back regardless of this) will never know...and i'll never know but i could have if i hadn't cheated....this is sooooo hard to handle!!!

Answer:
hi 123,
:( I'm so sorry about your situation, I can totally understand playing it over again in your head what could have been.... but you've gotta stop beating yourself up over this! it's understandable that you'd want to experience being single at your age, there's nothing wrong with that.

unfortunately, Herpes crossed your path at that time... but what's done is done. :( I know that probably doesn't make you feel any better.
taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally is the best thing you can do now to prevent future outbreaks. don't be so hard on yourself!