Question:
First time sex @ 15 left me with more than i bargained for. Been married twice and never infected either partners. Husband now is unable to have sex, (Impotence) due to drug and alcohol abuse. I decided to take a chance with a casual partner who does not know I have this disease.
:roll:
At what point after a sore is not present can GH still be contagious?

I had sex nine days after a sore, with a person I had no signs or symptoms, but now i feel guilty as hell and scared i might have transfer it to inocent person.

Answer:
Unfortunately, the days of casual sex should be over if you have contracted genital herpes. I like to look at it as, it could have been worse. Remember back when you were 15 and I'm guessing that the person you got this gift from, didn't tell you they had it. Herpes should not define who you are and knowledge is power. You should try to find a local support group. Even if it's simply a social group, you'd be amazed at how much support, socialization with other people who have herpes will give you. It's an amazing feeling. Look for "herpes awareness" on the web and you'll find many great links. Also, do a search for "herpes in [your city name]" and you'll most likely find a link for a local group.

Best of luck to you and feel free to IM me on Yahoo. I will get back to you.

Luanne

Answer:
You should feel guilty.....honestly you just can't do that to someone. Not only is it risky on your part to be transferring something but you could be recieving something back in return. Why would you place yourself in that position? It's careless and it's wrong. I know I might be coming across harshly but if I contracted herpes from someone who was dishonest with me about having it I would be horrified...and I would be even more horrified if I transmitted it to others knowing there was a chance to.
I honestly don't understand that mind frame.
Be careful! Not worth the risk.

Answer:
First time sex @ 15 left me with more than i bargained for. Been married twice and never infected either partners. Husband now is unable to have sex, (Impotence) due to drug and alcohol abuse. I decided to take a chance with a casual partner who does not know I have this disease.
:roll:
At what point after a sore is not present can GH still be contagious?

I had sex nine days after a sore, with a person I had no signs or symptoms, but now i feel guilty as hell and scared i might have transfer it to inocent person. Well, I reread what I wrote earlier and Man!! did I get off topic lol. Anyway, the bottom line is "there are no guarantees". The asymptomatic shedding is what is frustrating, because sometimes you get body signals, (the signals are different for everyone) and sometimes you don't get the signals, so you could be contagious but not even feel "off". Ya know what I mean? So the best advice I can give to you is "you HAVE to tell" It's the right thing to do. Good luck to you and let us know how things are going.

Luanne

Answer:
You should feel guilty.....honestly you just can't do that to someone. Not only is it risky on your part to be transferring something but you could be recieving something back in return. Why would you place yourself in that position? It's careless and it's wrong. I know I might be coming across harshly but if I contracted herpes from someone who was dishonest with me about having it I would be horrified...and I would be even more horrified if I transmitted it to others knowing there was a chance to.
I honestly don't understand that mind frame.
Be careful! Not worth the risk. I don't think we should beat up on Stacey. She just needs to learn from her experiences and it's on her mind and important to her. I praise her for that. Good girl. You have to reach out to people. I'm not perfect either, but I've learned through time how to be responsible for myself. We aren't born with this knowledge, so we have to "live and learn" sometimes. I can honestly say that I was in big denial and pre-internet ignorance about herpes. Slept with alot of people and never told. Doctors to this day, are still sending folks out of the dr's office in shock basically. Thank goodness this society has access to the internet and able to find others who are going through the same thing. I've learned so much since I've been able to talk to others who also have it. You'll be ok Stacey, but you need to get OK with it for yourself first, then conveying it to another person just gets easier as time goes on. :-)

Luanne <--------wishing I could have been born with this knowledge lol

Answer:
to all that anwsered thanks, all is well and I coming to grips with safe sex
reality you would have thought the first time I had sex catching herpies i would have learned the leason the hard way. I do and will pay for that mistake for the rest of my life. Its difficult telling someone you like what happened to you the first time you had sex. Im 34 now and was hoping I would not have to worry about telling someone else. I've been married 10 years husband is impotant due to drug and alcohol use on a daily basis.

I was wrong by not telling my sex partner. and have realized I would not want to destroy someone else life.

Answer:
[ Learning about this disease and informing others that it does not have to control your life, but it effect sometimes how people view you. Im still a good person who doesnt want to hurt anyone. Like someone hurt me by not telling me they had herpies I was 15 an to embarresed to look at a penis rather ask if he had a std It was the last thing from my mind.]
34 now, learning that sex is important part of life. Life it self is important and and condoms should be used if your playing with someone you dont know that well. Honesty will keep you from going insane.